A
female
age
30-35,
*hatsmynamexxx
writes:I have a boyfriend and I used to be in love with him, now not so much, I have fallen for his best mate ! But he has a girlfriend , they only got together a few days ago , things seem to be going great for them , but not for me and my boyfriend . He has a really nice family and they love me and my family loves him? I don't know what to do?!! Help?? Xxxxxx
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 glad it worked out for you.
A
female
reader, Thatsmynamexxx +, writes (4 March 2011):
Thatsmynamexxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe finally broke up with me but he still loves me :/ im not going back out with him and i told him i want to be single for a while ! xx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (2 March 2011):
Well if you tired to make a pass at his best mate then I'm sure he'd dump you. But that would get some people definitely mad at you. Or you could try ignoring him..and when you see him act like a bitch. If NONE of that works...
Like I said, you can either dump him and everyone will get over it. Or stay with him, and wait for him to dump you since you can't bring yourself to do it. Those are your only options. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Thatsmynamexxx +, writes (1 March 2011):
Thatsmynamexxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've tried being really clingy but he loves it :/ and if I tell him he can't hang round with his friends , he don't hang round with them?!!! The only time he broke up with me befor was when I got myself into loads of trouble at school ! + i'm not doin that again as 3 whole year groups hate me for what I did . I really don't know what else I could do ? .
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 March 2011):
I doubt that everyone, especially your own family, will HATE you if you dumped him. Hate is a strong word.
Mmm. You could completely ignore him and act like a b!tch to him, or act extremely clingy and possessive. Tell him he can't hang out with his friends and that you want to spend a lot more time with him. Guys HATE that. If he doesn't dump you for any of that. Then it looks like you're stuck. Or you buck up and ditch him. So what if everyone will hate you, they'll get over it.
Either be miserable and wait who knows how long till he dumps you because you care what other people think. Or dump him and be single. Your choice, dear.
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A
female
reader, Thatsmynamexxx +, writes (1 March 2011):
Thatsmynamexxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI tried breaking up with him and it worked but he was really upset and eveyone hated me at school so I went back out with him and he never wants to break up with me now ? I don't know what to do? I can't dump him because his family will hate me and so will my family and do will his bestmate , cuz when we broke up today me and his best mate had a little argument but it's sorted now x
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (1 March 2011):
I'm sorry I'm having trouble comprehending this..You broke up and now you're back together. How did that happen? Did he dump you then change his mind and you accepted him back?Why does he have to dump you? Why can't you dump him and be done with it?
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A
female
reader, Thatsmynamexxx +, writes (1 March 2011):
Thatsmynamexxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to try sort stuff out with my boyfriend , but me and his best mate usually flirt and he carrys me and gives me hugs and stuff? Me and my boyfriend broke up today and I thought that was it ! But were back together now :/ I want him to break up with me but he won't!!! Any tips on how to get him to break up with me ???? Xxx
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 March 2011):
 You havent fallen for his best mate, I'll try and explain what has happened here.
1. You and your boyfriend are having problems = you are unhappy
2. An unhappy person in a relationship looks for potential ways out of the relationship, or alternatives to the relationship because you are avoiding dealing with the real problems in your relationship
3. His best mate is around you frequently and is physically attractive = you think you have feelings for him and turn all your attention onto him, to avoid dealing with your relationship problems
4. Here you are, thinking you have fallen for him and considering what to do next.
So all that has happened is this - avoidance. You are not dealing with the root cause of your problems and to avoid dealing with them, you are passing your feelings off onto someone else to give you focus in a different direction.
So all you need to do now is re-direct your focus back onto you and your boyfriend. What has happened that has meant you dont love him anymore? What is it about your boyfriend that you dont like? What is it about your relationship that does not satisfy you? What is making you so unhappy that you are looking elsewhere?
If you truly dont love your boyfriend anymore and dont want to be with him - then the only thing you can do is leave him. It is not fair to your boyfriend to stay with him when you have no feelings for him, he deserves more than that.
However I suggest you think long and hard about what has changed in your relationship that has made you feel this way, and then potentially you can both work on it to make the relationship better. The fact is you loved him once, so those feelings can come back as long as you identify what has gone wrong, and then work on the relationship to get them back.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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