A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Argh! Whats going on?! I went on a date with a guy I'd liked for a while. Was a simple, rather unromantic date, cinema and fast food. 3 weeks later, despite texting him and messaging him, I've only had a few words from him on facebook chat, and he was rather blunt and unresponsive. I don't understand what went wrong. I really enjoyed the date and he seemed to as well. We live in different towns and go to different universities, but close enough to travel. We both go to a society once a week, but since the date he hasn't been there and hasn't said to anyone why. I don't understand what's gone wrong. I don't know if he's just really busy, but it doesn't make sense why he hasn't tried speaking to me. I always initiate the conversations, but now I've started to give up. He initiated the whole thing a few months ago but now its gone to nothing with no obvious reasons. I've never ever been in any form of relationship before. He was my first kiss and my first date and now it feels like its just vanished. We wanted to keep it secret from the rest of the society/club as it would cause problems, but now I'm scared that he was keeping me secret from someone else. We'd also agreed that we wouldn't let it ruin our friendship if something went wrong. As part of the society we have weekends away and a 2 week excursion in a few weeks time. I'm scared that things will get awkward, even if I try not to let it. I just want a definitive answer from him. Does he still like me or are we better off as friends? Anything is better than this limbo. I just don't know where I stand.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): The majority of the time guys never say, "I don't like you that way and I'm not interested in you that way" so they go *poof*, hoping you'll take the hint and go away. They don't want to feel like jerks by saying things that will upset you. When a guy doesn't call you for another date then you know where you stand and you don't need to pin him down for answers b/c actions ultimately speak way louder.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (2 March 2011):
 One simple lesson to learn about men - if they are interested then they will chase you, if they dont like you then they will either a) not reply or talk to you, or b) will be short and blunt with you in their replies.
A lot of men are cowards when it comes to dating (and so are some girls too) - they are not big enough to just be honest and say "sorry I'm just not into you". Instead they go quiet on you, ignore you and generally are incredibly rude.
All girls experience this from time to time, yes it hurts but it just shows you that he is a rude, cowardly man and you dont want to date a guy like that!
Simply move on - dont worry about your friendship because he clearly does not care. He is not interested in you, so learn your lesson from this (you did nothing wrong, he is just rude and cant bring himself to be honest) and move on, there are plenty more guys out there who would love to date you!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): He isn't interested, he's being inconsiderate by not telling you. But you have to take the cues/hints and understand this is the end. You'll have to move on, sorry....
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