A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It started in the car coming from a birthday party and theres a girl that i dont really like him being around so we get back home and i say why were sitting by her in the car. Im a very jealous person. Any ways he starts geting loud and everyone can hear him he says fuck you to me and i say what did u say as we r getting on the elevator and he said fuck you loudly so i slapped him and he slapped me twice and pushed me. Now he is saying sorry. Was i wrong? What should i do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): You were wrong to slap him. But a man should never ever hit a woman. And not only that but he slapped you twice and pushed you. My family is full of domestic violence and trust me, this man is not worth it. You deserve better. Please don't go back, because it will happen again.
A
female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Whoa!!!
Seriously take k c100's advice get anger management, It could end badly!
Good Luck
E
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 February 2011):
 You were both wrong. Violence is never the answer, whether it is a woman hitting a man or a man hitting a woman - it is all physical abuse and is ALWAYS wrong.
You both need help with your anger, if you get to the point where you hit someone then you clearly cannot handle anger and need to get help.
Try googling 'anger management' in your area and see what support services are available where you live, you both need to get help and there are plenty of ways of doing this, you just need to make the first step and find that help.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Oh, horror. I'm sorry that you were involved in such a horrible situation. I don't know you, but crazy at it seems, I can feel your misery. Your letter is steeped in it...
Firstly, nobody has a right to slap or otherwise assault someone else, be it mentally, physically or emotionally. A man has no right to hit a woman... and likewise, a woman has no more of a right to hit a man. Violence doesn't solve anything. It makes things worse, and besides, people tend to act how you treat them: if you slap them, they will probably slap you back. It's cause and effect. You were BOTH wrong.
I assume that this man is your boyfriend. Honey, please, PLEASE realise that he likes you, or he wouldn't be with you. Period. Yes, there are some trashy-ho-bags in the world who like to flash flesh and flirt with other women's significant others, but can you understand that by becoming jealous, you're taking out your own fears on your boyfriend rather than facing up to them?
It sounds as though you've had difficulties with your own insecurities for a long time now, and that it is about ready to kill your relationship. Your boyfriend snapped - you pushed him just that bit too far by slapping him when he was already very angry. I am by no means suggesting that his actions and words are acceptable (they most certainly are NOT), but I need for you to acknowledge that your fear is also a poison to your relationship, and to your own happiness.
I personally would never stay with a man who harmed me in even the slightest way (emotionally, mentally or physically). However, I don't know your circumstances. It's up to you to evaluate whether or not you think that you can both work on your relationship issues and to proactively continue to do so.
NOTE: All things granted, if you EVER feel in danger, get out immediately, do not go back and do not change your mind.
Please let me know how you go. Best luck =)
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