A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:why would she does this? to cut a extremley long story short.... i added a girl my younger bro knows at school on facebook (ther both 14) got talking, realy liked her she realy likes me (i dont fancy her (yet) i dunno how she feals about me)having a laugh flirting just chatting... sommat diffrent :)... this had been going on for about 5 weeks nearly everyday wed talk... so i think she considers me as a friend... she told me this aswell.... and the other day she just had a complete breakdown with me over chat... family issues, issues about her self and stuff, sounded realy upset and was asking for advice i gave her some.. i said speak to a close relative/friend, and if you feal that badly go see a doctor and that im always here if she needs a chat... she was very greatfull... and said shed love to meet me (shes seen me when we were younger when i was in school) and its a shame im not any younger cos shed go out with me (i know.... lecture time... ther 4 years diff between us not alot in my opinion but at 18-14 thats is a problem for me so i wouldnt consder going out with her until shes atleast 18 maby 17) she has been realy nice to me and now is ignoring my messages.... i sent 3, 2 days ago asking 'hiya how are you' she wasnt online then but she still gets the messages, i then sent one after i got home from work asking 'you fealing any better' she wasnt online... then she came online so i sent her a message asking 'hiya you fealing anybetter... have u spoke to anyone about ur wee problem?' i wasnt pestering her i sent one at approx 7 in the morning one at 5 at night and the one when she was online at 11 at night.... plenty of time to reply but she never has and has been posting things on other peoples walls... so iknow shes activley online... but why hasnt she replyd to my messages i sent 2 days ago?? i havent sent any since cos i know she has recived them and has been on line when i have.... also why did she have a heart to heart with me? does she realy like me that much or was i the only person willing to help?? im confused but why wouldnt she reply?? i was being nice i want checking up on her but mearly seing if she waas fealing anybetter from her time of depression....whats going on?? should i send her a message when were both online and see if she replys bearing in mind i sent her the last message 2 days ago.... or could she be regreting talking to me? im confused....
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your answers, so what should my next move be?... she did reply in the end last night we had a little convo and she is a lot better... she told some close freinds and sought comfort with them... but now what? i like talking to her and i dont mind being friends and i dont want nothing more until she 18.. assuming we still know each other.. but what shall i do now? what shall be my next move regarding the situation? she wants to meet me... her words were 'i dont suppose its possible to meet sometime?'
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 December 2011):
 This is the problem with trying to chase a 14 year old - they are so immature, their hormones are all over the place, they are up and down emotionally and they change their minds every 5 minutes.
It sounds like she needed someone to talk to at the time and you fit that bill perfectly, but now for whatever reason she doesnt want to know anymore. She got what she needed (someone to talk to) and now she is not interested.
I think you should let this go, she is just a child and you dont want to be wasting your time on someone you cant even date for 4 more years. Try and find someone closer to your own age who wont be so immature and emotional, when girls get to 17/18 their hormones have settled down a bit so it wont be this bad.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, iloveperrieedwards +, writes (22 December 2011):
This happened to me not long ago, I completely understand where you are coming from. It's so confusing, maybe she just feels that you've helped her and she doesnt want too annoy you by going on about it constantly, or maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. When you are both next online, just say hello and see what/if she replies. If she doesn't, then I guess you will just have to face that :/
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A
female
reader, ilanah tromans +, writes (22 December 2011):
 i think she must be confused of how shes feeling at the moment maybe with all the family problems she doesnt feel like talking at the minute, give her some space for a few days then inbox her again or get your brother to talk to her, she may like you but wants to keep her distance because of the age difference and doesnt want to like you any more than she already does, just give her some time and she'll talk to you again :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): I can definitely see why you are confused. She is sending a few mixed signals to you. However I'm sure they are unintentional, because by the sounds of things she is interested in you (hence why she turned to you for advice).
She probably also thought you were a good person to talk to given your older age & your maturity.
Her reasons for ignoring you?...
She may be feeling embarrassed so is shying away.
She may have pulled away because she felt she was being too honest & too open. so she's closed herself away.
She is probably just giving you some space because she doesn't want to seem too needy, so is making it appear as though she isn't by ignoring you.
As for yourself you're just being considerate so you're not being an annoyance to her. You sound like a caring person, which is a very good trait. Keep that up.
You definitely gave her the right advice, to confide in a relative or friend.
Wait for a moment when you're both online & see if a conversation can happen.
All the best! :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): Move on.
She's 14, you're 18.
She just wanted someone to listen to her problems that is it.
Nothing more.
Stop pestering her.
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