A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now despite some pretty tough odds. He is 24 and i am 17. We kept it a secret for a long time but eventually my parent found out and were furious. They wouldnt even take the time to get to know him before rejecting him and judging him based on his age. I started dating him before my 17th birthday and im now coming up on my 18th. i am still "forbidden" to talk to him but we keep in contact on AIM and meet up when opportunity strikes. Im really worried that when i turn 18 and tell them im going to be with him they will try to throw him in jail or something. Do I have i rightous fear? and am i at all stupid to stay with him...?? 3
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 December 2011):
 parents arent perfect they make mistakes they pass unfair judgments and rules. But aslong as they support you you have to live by those rules.
My question is are you allowed to date ate all? If your allowed to date im not sure what your parents are so concerned with seems to me their being over protective.
I think a 24 year old would make a better boyfriend then a 16 year old. I guess im a bit biased when i was 16 i didn't even associate with to many teenagers, i preferred to be around older people whom i could learn from. In many societies your relation ship would be perfectly normal.
does this guy have a job can he support you etc is marriage in the future do you plan to go to university that would leave you separated from him? These are questions you need to ask your self. I know your caught up in the whole love endorphin's and your feeling good rite now but realty is around the corner.
In my opinion your parents are just trying to hold on to their little girl but they are slowly loosing their grip. On the other hand if this guy breaks your heart who will you be come running back to. I guess its a tricky situation. relationships are a big deal they change and alter peoples lives personalities an maybe even their soul somewhat maybe your parents dont think you can handle the responsibility.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Sorry I dont understand your follow up - if the legal age of consent is 16 (i.e. when you are 16 in your state in America you can have sex) then your parents cant do anything about it! They dont have to 'give' consent, the legal age of consent if for YOU not your parents. YOU are the one that gives consent for sex, not your parents.
And why would your parents be able to throw him in jail? Only the police can put a person in jail. What has your boyfriend done that is illegal? Did you have sex before you were legally old enough?
If they can prove he slept with an underage teenager then you might have a problem. But if you are now over the age of consent and your parents dont have any proof that you had sex with him when you were under 16, then there is nothing your parents can do.
I dont think they will ever accept your boyfriend to be honest, he is too old for you and they are right to not want you to see him, there is something wrong with a man of 24 who wants to date a child.
But if you are honest with your parents, tell them that you love him and you are going to be with him now you are 18 - they cant stop you. And maybe if they see that you are happy and he treats you well, they might come around one day.
I cant see why they would be able to get him arrested unless he has done something illegal, so I dont think you have much to worry about there.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondear iamheartohelpyou, the legal age of consent is 16 but my parents arent giving it. at this point im willing to wait out the 80 days i have left... and no we havent had sex because we knew if they found out they would use it as ammunition against us.
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