A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiMy bf of two years often talks about how cute his coworkers are and how could he like to spend time with them. Whenver i call, he says if he knows that i am gonna call then he would hv switched off his mobile. If i ask why he is doing this, he says stop being a baby and im just kidding or simply joking.I feel very insecure. I just want to know is this the way people joke around and am i really insecure. Please help me
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (20 December 2011):
 If you you dont like it and it makes you uncomfortable he should stop. I had a Gf i did that to all the time didnt really like her that much and was actually hoping she would get pissed and break up with me she didnt though. But she told me she didnt like when i stared at other women or made comments about them. It could mean hes just not that into you. But i also did it to a Gf i really liked she never seemed to get mad though and would play along but she was smoking hot and didn't seem to have to many insecurities.So maybe hes just trying to see how much junk youll take from him.
Incidentally I had a girl tell me this guy was hot while at the beach one time so i picked her up carried her over to where he was laying and dropped her next to him And i said my GF thinks your hot. She wasnt my Gf though we where just friend but she wanted to be my GF. That had an interesting affect the guy was gay after all lol but the girl got mad that i would be willing to give her away so easily.
Well it turned out she was just trying to make me jealous
A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (20 December 2011):
 From what you're saying, this doesn't sound like normal joking. It sounds insensitive and like he has a seriously wandering eye, almost as if he is TRYING to make you feel insecure. If he won't take your feelings seriously when you reasonably try to talk, he is showing a lack of care and respect. You deserve better. Might be time to let him go.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 No, this is not the way guys joke around. Maybe saying someone is hot in passing, that is quite common amongst men and women. But when you are in a relationship, to say you want to spend time with someone you find attractive? That is a big NO NO!! He is very wrong to even think that, let alone say it to you.
Talk to him and tell him it is not acceptable for him to be thinking about other women in this way and unless he stops then you are gone. Tell him this is not you being insecure, and you understand that he is going to find other people attractive as that is natural, but it is not ok to want to spend time with them when you are supposed to be in a comitted relationship. Tell him this has to stop otherwise you will walk away.
I would be worried if I were you - he sounds like a player, he sounds very nasty and malicious to be saying these things to you and his jokes really are not funny, they are simply cruel. He doesnt sound like the sort of person that can be trusted, be careful with this one.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Talk to him about it. Does he still compliment you and make you feel appreciated when you're together? You mightn't mind his jokes as much as long as he still lets you know how much he loves you. Say to him that you are starting to feel insecure and ask him to stop joking as much and make sure that he makes you feel good about yourself. If he can't do that, you shouldn't be with him.
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