A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, well... yeah it's my birthday today. Hmmm won't mention my age coz I feel so old... :/Anyway, about quarter to midnight my ex just called me. Just so everyone knows, me and my ex are good friends and we try to stay in contact even after we broke up. Before he called, he messaged me on whatsapp seeing if I was cool and stuff. You know just the general normal questions. We were just talking about what my plans are for tomorrow and stuff. Anyway I felt really touched by what he said and how he wanted to be the first person to say it to me and how he made sure that he was the first and that he wants me to remember he was the one who said it first. I appreciate the fact that he wanted to be the first and I thought it was really sweet of him.After we got off the phone, I messaged him and just said thank you for being the first and I appreciate it and stuff. He replied saying "its ok nuff love" and then he said "remember there's a reason why I wanted to be the first one". I didn't reply.Come to think of it now, I actually want to know the reason but I don't want to ask him.So any ideas what the reason is as to why he wanted to be the first to wish me a happy birthday??
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): You will just have to bring it up and ask him. We can try and guess but you won't know for certain. Maybe he's waiting for you to ask! Be brave, nothing to lose just give him a call and ask : ) good luck and happy birthday!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Honestly none of us can have any idea - it might be that he just wants to be friendly and make sure you know he still cares, he might want you back, he might feel guilty for breaking up with you and wants to make amends....honestly there could be hundreds of reasons!
We are not inside his head, we do not know the reason and we cannot find out for you.
If you wanted to ask him why then you should have done. You are 21 now, you are an adult so if you want to have an adult relationship then in circumstances like this you need to be the mature one and simply ask why. It is not difficult, all you need to do is simply send a text saying 'why did you want to be the first one to wish me happy birthday'.
Adult relationships involve communication, if it feels like someone is sending mixed messages then an adult will simply come out and ask what is going on. If they are still getting no clear answer then the adult will move on because they have no time for games.
If you ever want to get anywhere with your ex you need to start communicating, obsessing over what he 'might' be thinking and trying to figure him out is simply a waste of your time. Ask him, hopefully get an answer and then take it from there. If he has no answer then move on and forget about it.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 hes playing some silly games no one can possibly no what he means just ask him your 21 time to be an adult
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