A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If this man likes me, why won't he persue me ?. I am 27, and he is 60. Now, i know that is a huge age gap, but he seems like a really nice man, and i do like him. He has said that he would go after me if he was my age, and ke kept asking if this guy i was out with once recently was my boyfriend. Also, he apparently told one of his friends that he loves me. I used to be seeing one of his other friends, but that ended months ago. He even said " don't take me on " (like, saying he was joking ) , but i'm not sure if he said that because he thought i might not have liked it if he tried to hit on me ?. He winks at me a lot too. I might see this man again soon when i go out, so i'm wondering what i should say to him. What do you think ?. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 I am a HUGE supporter of age gap relationships being in one myself… but even this one you are suggesting pushes the boundaries of sanity in my opinion. He’s a flirt and he’s flirting with you because it is fun but he’s wise enough to know that as he enters the end of his life (and even if he lives to be 100 he’s on the downward slope now) and he slows down YOU my dear are JUST beginning…
27 is a GREAT age and you are so young still and healthy and vibrant. You don’t think so but you will realize it when you get closer to 40…. There was a time I would have said it’s not a problem but now at 51 with a 38 yr old fiancé I can tell you that after a certain age, getting up in the morning HURTS… joints ache, you move slower, it’s just physically HARDER to move around through the day and a younger partner really points this out to me….
He does not pursue you because it’s fun to flirt and stroke an ego but reality is that unless you want a short term relationship with him, you aren’t on the same page.
Just enjoy the flirtation and shoot for a man 40 or under at this point.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): He is probably being realistic. Why would he want to make a fool of himself by chasing someone who could be his grand daughter? Yes he can flirt and wink and no doubt fancies you, but actually making a move would be a risk. Being humiliated when you are young is one thing, but when you are older and have experienced life you know the pain it brings. You are interested in him but ask yourself what would this be like given the great gap in age. I would leave things as they are and unless you are totally driven to move things forward.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Because he knows that most girls in their 20's , if approached romantically by a 60 y.o. guy, would laugh in his face , be creeped out, or make a scene ?...
And /or because a guy at 60 can surely appreciate a fresh face and a young body, why not, but he is wise enough to know that it would not be a good match, that he does not have enough to offer to a young woman, that you two would have next to nothing in common being at such different stages in life, so he's perfectly content of being avuncular and maybe jokingly flirty but really deep down wants nothing more ?..
I'd be curious to know if also his friend that you have dated was in this age range. And in this case, if you have asked yourself why you are so attracted to much much older men.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): I think that he knows he is 60 years old, and too old for you. The whole "age doesn't matter" is a nice idea, but in reality it is a whole different matter. He is old enough to be your grabndfather and he knows that. I don't know if you have had much to do with people of his age to know how difficult it can be with them. He is set in his ways, and more than likely has very diffent values in life, there is a generational gap, which will play a big part. You will want to go out and do things, that he doesn't want to as he will see it as being for younger people, or he simply won't physically be able to do those things. The only thing he really has to offer you is for you to be there to look after an old man, and he is mature enough to realise that. You like him, so be his friend, but forget about anything more with him, because if it did work out he would resent feeling like a burden to you in the future, and that's not fair on either of you. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Erm.....because he is old enough to be your grandfather?! He is being sensible here, he cannot give you a future so he wont bother wasting your time by persuing you.
Lets look at this sensibly - do you want kids? Marriage? To have a long and happy future? Do you see lots of holidays and adventures with your partner? Growing old together? Making a home together? Basically if you want any of that you CANNOT have that with your 60 year old.
He is in the later stages of life, wanting to slow down, will have done the marriage and kids thing in the past. His health will start to decline soon and he wont want you, a young woman, to waste her life caring for an old man. Sex wont really be up to much either!
He knows he cannot give you what you want. Even if you dont want marriage and kids, I'm sure you dont want a lame sex life and to end up caring for a pensioner with health problems rather than doing the normal thing for a woman in her 20's.
I think you should just leave it with this man, he is too old for you and he knows it, now you just need to be realistic too and think logically about what you want from a relationship. When you see him next just be friendly but nothing more, and stop any flirting too otherwise he will just get the wrong idea.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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