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female
,
anonymous
writes: Well I have been with my boyfriend for just over 7 months now, and i really love him. but recently we have been arguing really badly over stupid things, he hates one of my friends and he says nasty things when i have been with her, we have spoken about this and he says its because she is immature. he told me unless i stopped smoking he would finish me although i started smoking before we got together and also one month into the relationship he shared a bed with another girl, it hurt me so much but i chose to forgive him, all my friends have told me to finish it with him, but i love him, he constantly calls me fat and tells me that im immature, i don't know where i stand anymore :( i seem to cry to him alot more at the moment for no real reason and im constantly worried about him ending it :( i don't know what to do.. :( please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): Get out of this relationship while you self-esteem can be recovered!!!!!! please!
Whether you're dating or in a long-term relationship, at the point you realise that you are being controlled rather than loved/nurtured, it's time to get out. If you stay, he will wear away at you and before you know it you have no self-confidence, no friends cos they've all walked away, you'll be isolated and trapped.
This guy does not deserve you, you deserve better - and yes, I speak from experience, I stayed TOO long.
x
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (9 September 2006):
 It is an abusive relationship in the making. He is jealous of your friends and verbally abusive towards you already...how long before he starts slapping you around. he maybe a bad person but you cannot change him - you can do a lot about changing you. You need to be strong and demonstrate some self respect by walking away from this idiot. If you keep forgiving him for whatever he does, it is like giving him a license to behave badly as he knows you will come back for more of the same treatment. There are lots of men out there who will treat you very well indeed. Dating is supposed to be fun, not like this - you could even be doing him a favour...by walking away you send him a clear message that his behaviour is not acceptable.
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