A
female
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anonymous
writes:im ready to have sex with my boyfriend he has done it be4 but the thing is he now lives in a different state but its not that far away and i don't know how to tell himwe been together for a while now and i really love him i know he wants to have sex with me but he told me that when i wasnt ready yet and now im ready and i know my parents wont let me go see him he is 16 and im 13 but i will be 14 Oct 27 i wanna tell him im just kinda scared too
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female
reader, I_Think_Im_In_LOVE.. +, writes (31 December 2007):
Im 14 and i have a 16 year old boyfriend he'll be 17 in jan. i though i was ready to but i talked to him about it and he told me we can do it whenever i was ready.... he was right im not ready i thought i was because i had not talked about it with my mother..... for one before you do anything you need to go get birth control..... and make sure if he has had sex with an ex. he uses condoms......if hes a virgin you still have to uses them but your not really out to risk to get anything....
best wishs to you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): Im 14 and i have a 16 year old boyfriend he'll be 17 in jan. i though i was ready to but i talked to him about it and he told me we can do it whenever i was ready.... he was right im not ready i thought i was because i had not talked about it with my mother..... for one before you do anything you need to go get birth control..... and make sure if he has had sex with an ex. he uses condoms......if hes a virgin you still have to uses them but your not really out to risk to get anything....
best wishs to you
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A
male
reader, Richy rich  +, writes (16 October 2006):
Your mind might think it is ready what with an older boyfriend and the presure from tv, but your body most certainly is not ready for sex, doing it at your age can cause serious damage to your reproductive system resulting in cases of infertility (unable to have kids) a child should wait untill they are atleast 16 to have sex by that time the body will have caught up with the mind.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Sweetheart, if you are not ready to openly discuss sex and all the exact specifics with him...you are not ready to have sex.
Until you can say without embarrassment. "Because I am a virgin we will have to do this very slowly and carefully. And before you insert your penis in my vagina, we will have to learn exactly how to properly use a condom...here I bought a variety for us to practice with."
If you stumble over any of those WORDS....You are not ready for the act.
I know several girls who became parents at 14 because THEY WERE SURE they were ready and Knew everything. Except now they just don't know WHY he SAID he loved them....or How they will put that baby through college...Or how they are going to get up for school when they have been up all night with a sick little baby....or how they will ever get to move out of their parents house...because they could never make it on their own...with no car, job, diploma, skills.....
Don't think It won't happen to you....your made for it to Happen to you if you don't jolly well Take your life and your actions seriously. Your body is ready for children in another time, another society....But not the modern one. Back when people died at 24 or 25...it was good to have kids early so maybe you could have them big enough to take care of themselves before you died...Now if you have kids that early...you may share your room at the nursing home when you are 94 and your daughter is 80.
I know you want to be all grown up....but sex does not make that so....learning to take care of yourself first and think of the future...not just the now....is what makes you all grown up. Wait a couple of years at least and don't be afraid to take your time and learn to do EVERYTHING except vaginal intercourse safely first. Take sex in baby steps...not a giant leap of faith that your whole world and very life depend on. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 October 2006):
 Engaging in sex at such an early age can make your susceptible to many physical problems the major one being cervical cancer with a host of others. Give your body the time to mature that nature demands in order to live to your full potential.
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A
female
reader, ali1987 +, writes (7 October 2006):
 When I was your age I thought I was ready. I had sex for the first time when I was 14, on the outside I convinced myself I was ready, on the inside the truth was I was scared of my boyfriend and scared of not being loved. I was young and believed if he wanted to have sex with me it must be because he loved me. Oh how I was wrong, two days after I had sex with him, he moved on to my best friend. I thewn stuck with just kissing boys till i was nearly 16. I then met another boy who I thought I was ready to have sex with. So I did. He then confessed he was just with for a bit of fun, and that I would never come close to being as good as his ex. That pretty sums up my past love life. However I am now happily living with my finacee. We have been together for 19 months now and I have come to accept the past is past, I only have one regret. And that is I should have listened to my heart not my friends at school. I would have loved to have met my fiancee still a virgin but we make mistakes when we are young and unfortunatley we have to live with them for the rest of our lifes. I guess what im trying to say to you is just wait a while. He may seem to be the love of your life right now, but you have so many years ahead of, you never know who is round the corner. Im not going to go into the law and pregnancy and stds, becuase I believe you have a brain in that head of yours and I believe you can use it. Im not going to preach to you about your age, because I did exactly the same. All Im going to say is remeber how young you are, there is a whole world out there for you to see before you even consider boys. Use your brain, I truely feel you are a sensible girl. But whatever your decision, stay safe.
xxx
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (6 October 2006):
 Your not ready, for one thing your WAY to young, losing your virginity might not seem a big deal at 13, but if you loose it now, you will regret it, i lost mine at 14 and every time im with a girl (not having sex or anything, but seeing them or whatever) when they ask me when/how/who about my virginity, i feel ashamed to be honest, because it was meaningless. wait untill your a bit older, and are 100% sure you want to, then when you look back, you can remember when you did it, and who with, and be proud of it. Youve got years ahead of you to find the right guy, dont rush into it, take your time and make it one of the most meaningful nights of your life. Hope you make the right desision. Good luck
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A
female
reader, single mother of 2 +, writes (6 October 2006):
I lost my virginity when I was 12 and let me tell say that you will regret it. I am 21 and have 2 children currently, and I am not with either of the father's. You have your whole life ahead of you to focus on yourself first then about sex. There are so many std's out there not to mention hiv / aids, and gettting pregnant. It seems to me that you really care about this guy but does he care about you. If he respected you and loved you he wouldn't put pressure on you to have sex with him. You could ask almost anybody sex is not that great, it lasts at the most 5-10 minutes. It is a temporary high you get that goes away almost instantly. The part I have learned that makes it great is when you have a deep connection with a person, when you have been with that person for a couple of years. You sound like you are really not sure about this, and personally I wouldn't do it. Finish school and make something of yourself before you give your body which should be treasured to a guy you don't know will be around forever.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 October 2006):
 You are scared and feeling awkward about it because you are not ready. Teens are under HUGE pressure to have sex early these days and I know you have a nice relationship but why not wait? I don't think you are ready at 13 because no-one can be ready (emotionally) at your age - that is why most countries have laws to deter underage sexual activity. Most girls who have sex underage regret it afterwards and end up feeling used (that is not my opinion - the research shows it).
I would sit down and have a good long think about why you want sex with a boy at 13 - it doesn't sound like he puts you under too much pressure for sex. You shouldn't confuse sex and love - too many people of all ages do that. You can love someone without showing them physically and you can definitely have a physical relationship lacking in any love whatsoever! If he loves you back then (a) he will wait until you are older and (b) the distance between you is not a problem for him. I am glad you have good parents who prevent you from travelling to see him - it means they care about you. Even if you are 'ready' (and I am not sure about that) then perhaps he isn't - he maybe telling you he isn't a virgin because he succumbs to pressure to say that; maybe he wants sex with you just to get it out of the way...boys want to do the deed to not feel they are missing out and are 'men of the world'. You cannot decipher all the possibilities so why not sit back and show strength of character by waiting...sex is better when you are older and you are 'sure'.
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