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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all, okay im 22 and have never been in a serious relationship and its really getting me down. I havent been happy about my weight for the last couple of years and have been dieting and exercising but the weight just isnt shifting. All my friends are georgous slim and can wear all the nice clothes and always seem to attract the nice guys. Where can i find a guy that will like and begin to love me for who i am. Im so fed up with myself its unreal. thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): I have had a weight problem, i don't think the problem is your friends are gorgeous i think the problem is you feel you aren't.
If you're not comfortable with how you look and feel about yourself this comes across in your body language.
I'm sure you've met guys who are attracted to you. Think about this, did you like them back?
If the guy you have a crush on at the moment asked you out, and appeared to want a relationship with you, would you actually say yes. Or would you still feel uncomfortable about your body and tell him no?
If that's the case and your sick of yourself and you have 3 stone or more to loose then you can try a programme called lighterlife.
It worked for me when nothing else has, i lost 6 and half stone and it certainly makes you feel differently about yourself, buying clothes for me used to be a nightmare! Now its fun, I feel alot healthier, i get admiring glances etc etc. i still need to get used to that though.
If you don't have that much weight to lose try weight watchers, remember there are very few people who can eat exactly what they like and not put on weight, i guarantee you your slim friends either eat healthily most of the time and binge now and then or eat alot one day and very little the next. Once you have hit your goal weight thats all you need to do.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 You just think your friends are more attractive because you are looking for a certain perspective. A man won't make you feel better about yourself and you may not even enjoy a relationship (they do cause a fair bit of anxiety!) until you get your body image related issues and self esteem under control. I used to be having a few of those sorts of issues at 22 but it really messed by health up and I really regret all those diets in my 20's. Don't actively look for a man, but sit back and accept that the right one will find you!
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (19 September 2006):
 First things first you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I suggest that you stop putting yourself down hunny. Look in the mirror and smile, tell yourself you are beautiful and in time you will start to believe it. Find your best feature and enhance it, may it be your eyes, lips, hair or anything.
As soon as you start to feel good about yourself your personality will shine through and people will love you for you and not your body. If you just walk around feeling sorry for yourself nobody will notice you. come on girl, let your personality shine through.
I also think that you should let love find you, dont go looking for it. I promise you that there is someone out there for everyone and one day the man of your dreams will just pop up when you least expect it.
Good luck hunny and remember stop putting yourself down everyone is beautiful in there own way, the same as everyone is ugly in there own way. People all have there own tastes hunny its just that it is stereo typical to fancy slim people thats all, but I guarantee blokes have looked at you before and thought yummy its just that they havent said anything.
Someone might say your ugly but theres always someone round the corner that will think you are beautiful. We all come in different shapes and sizes and we have to deal with it. I wish you all the luck in the world and I promise there is a guy out there for you
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