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female
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anonymous
writes: Help!!!! I need help understanding a mans mind if thats possible. I have a male friend who I have know about three months, I pulled him in a club and we ended up being mates. He stated from the start he wasnt ready for a relationship and just wanted to be friends. I sort of accepted it and tried to get on with my life even though I am very fond of him. A few times now I have dropped my guard and told him how I feel bout him. I have also told him I love him, which hasnt changed him at all, to be honest I would have run a mile if somebody I just wanted to be friends with told me that. About two months ago I was out with my friends and I ended up pulling a guy cause well as far as im concerned im single. Thing is my mate turned up and saw me with this guy, never made a comment, seemed a bit quiet at the time. But ever since that night everytime I go out he keeps mentioning this guy I pulled and to be hoenst its winding me up I cant make out if he is jealous or what. I met two soldiers on Sunday and told him like I would any friend and now he keeps mentioning them I really dont know what to think.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2006): Guys are usually straightforward in their responses. If he says that he is not ready for a relationship, he means it. It sounds to me as though he is joking or winding you up. Don't take it to heart. He is probably really concerned as a friend for how things are going for you in your life. Just tell him how things are going. He will talk about something else then.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): alas, we will never understand the minds of men. if it was that easy, we wouldn't be logging our problems onto this network. sounds like this guy hasn't quite figured out what his feelings are for you at the moment. it sometimes takes men a long time to decide (or recogize) that they love someone. it's a four-letter word to most of them. plus, they usually like the keep their options open --- they just don't like it when we keeps our open. if I were you, I'd go ahead and date whomever you please and until he can honestly tell you, that he loves you and wants to be in an "exclusive" relationship with you, I would consider him nothing more than a friend. And P.S. next time, don't tell a guy how you feel about them first and by all means, don't do it too early in the relationship. You really give away all your power and allow them to start playing games with your heart.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006): Honestly, don't even bother with him. He's obviously not worth the effort. Maybe he's jealous of you when you're around other guys, but if he was, then I'm sure by now he would have changed his stance on your relationship, which he hasn't done.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (6 October 2006):
 He isn't into you romantically as when men are motivated they do some chasing...especially when they know you like them back. However, he probably likes being the centre of attention and he probably likes the fact you like him...if you get my drift...it is positive attention and everyone is flattered to know they are fancied. So seeing you with other guys who may take your attention away may upset him. That is, however, not your fault - you are single, you should live your life and if dating a few men until you meet someone you can have a relationship with is good for you then go for it...not harming anyone (except his delicate ego)! As for remaining friends with this guy - tricky problem! By this I mean when one friend has more than platonic feelings it can creep into resentment when the feelings are not reciprocated and sour the relationship - lets face it you are already niggled by him. You may find you pair drift apart, especially when you are no longer single.
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A
female
reader, amerthyst0202 +, writes (6 October 2006):
 He has made it clear to you he doesnt want a relationship and just wants to be friends so when he mentions the guys you pulled ask him if he has a problem with this and if so why cos you are single until you decide other wise whether it be with him or some one else
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2006):
Given the situation, he isn't into you. Move on.
He is protective enough to growl a little when other guys are around but thats it....
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