| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: This may sound like a really daft question!! I've had just one serious boyfriend and have only just got serious with him a few months ago. We went on a foreign holiday, but it felt like he is a real perve whilst away - constantly feeling my bum when i was lying on the sunbeds or poking my chest(which embarrassed me-but after saying stop he continued to), looking up my skirt etc, taking photos and zooming in on my chest. Is this normal for a 22 year old guy to behave this way in public or not!?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 I think it can be normal yes, a lot of blokes are like that. It is very immature though but at least he was perving on you and nobody else. Also he was on holiday and he probably thought that he was being funny, but he obviously was not.
I think you should tell him that if he respected you he would stop it, tell him you feel down graded when he does things like that in public. Hopefully he will see your point and stop it.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Hello Anon,
Wow - this guy reminds me of someone that I dated!
Maybe a short description of my experience will help you out a bit: At first, the relationship was good. He was really nice, sweet, and seemed to put me first. But then it's like all of a sudden two weeks into the relationship he started acting all pervy out in public, doing the same things you are describing. He would even talk dirty when he came in to see me at work (he even did it infront of a 5 year old little girl. I almost smacked him and had him removed by security. I was so embarassed!). I tried talking to him numerous times and he would seem to understand, but would keep doing things after I had asked him not to. Eventually it escalated in to him totally disrespecting me and my background, family, things I liked to do, etc. He turned out to be a real jerk, more than what I had originally thought.
In my opinion, if this guy doesn't turn himself around and act like a better partner to you (meaning that he should respect you) I say that you should get out of there fast before he feels as though he can do whatever he wants, even more than he does now. (Short answer: nobody at any age should be disrespecting you this way, especially a guy who is 22!)
Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Errr no...it is disrespectful and that is why you felt uncomfortable about it. The fact that you asked him to stop and he continued means it is REALLY disrespectful. Some men have a poor way of showing affection and some men do this because they are feeling insecure - making displays of what is 'theirs' in public for the benefit of anyone who maybe watching. If he does this to you, there is no reason for you to just sit there and accept it passively. You should make is very clear to him in public that it is unacceptable and one way to do that is to say very loudly for him to stop and make a bit of a scene - it may embarrass him into keeping his hands to himself.
...............................
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Hmmm, not really no. He sounds a little immature. The fact that you asked him to stop and he didn't is not good at all... it shows disrespect towards you. I suggest you try to have a direct, open and honest conversation with him about this at a time when he seems to be in a 'sensible' mood. See if you can get him to understand how it feels for you and whether he is willing to try to moderate his behaviour.
...............................
|
