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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have found out I am pregnant. I am happy, just turned 39 and believed infertile. Suffer from PCOS, overweight and smoke, high blood pressure, so not alot going for me. Found out this weekend and am over the moon. But my partner of 2 years is not. Says we wont be able to do long haul holidays, we will have no money either. Will he change is mind? This is not his first child. I love him and dont want to split up, but do I tell him to go if he feels the baby will cramp his lifestyle as I dont want him to resent me. This baby is invaluable to me.
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male
reader, Worn Out +, writes (20 September 2006):
As a single dad of five, I can understand both of you. Your husband is worried that his life will change, too right it will but only for the better. I was scared when my (then) gf fell pregnant with our first. I was only 19 at the time, but got on with my responsibilities.
I divorced in 2001 when the 5th child was 3 and I have never looked back. Children are the most brilliant part of adult life. Whether you and your husband can resolve this issue (I hope so) or not, the blessing of a child will enhance your life.
Good Luck, I am sure he will come round.
A
female
reader, Hanna  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 congrats on your pregancy, It sounds like you need to sit your partner down and have a heart to heart about what you both want from your relationship.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 September 2006):
 I would like to say congratulations...you got pregnant with PCOS (and that gives me hope as a fellow sufferer). As for your husband...well sometimes men can be a little insensitive and need time to adjust. You are pregnant and it is a wonderful miracle - time to stop stressing about him and start looking after yourself. He will come around in time - it is probably a big shock to him too! If he doesn't...single parenthood isn't that bad; babies are rather more precious than exotic holidays!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): I know you were believed infertile but things happen where mother nature gives us 'surprise packages'. (I know, I had a baby at 35) One should always find out how the other feels about children, just in case. I think once he's had time to let this sink in, he will accept it. If he doesn't, you have a tough time ahead of you. It's pretty tough raising a baby and having a husband who resents you and is not supportive. Prepare yourself for the worst case scenario but I hope he gets around all this, because the best life that baby can have now, is a home life where it has two loving and nururing parents and where a Dad is committed to Mom. Joint couple counseling might help. Because this is a big issue and this can make or break a relationship, so it is very important for it to be resolved early. Your bf may need to fully understand the underlying reasons you have for wanting this child. Telling him yourself is not working. Perhaps he needs a perspective from a counselor's point of view. Check into this. I wish you luck, dear and take care of yourself.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 September 2006):
 Sorry, but what an insensitive a$$. Will he change his mind? Who can say? But I hope so for your sake. You might want to start by telling him his behaviour is highly inappropriate and unpleasant. He needs to shape up, bigtime (and fast).
Congratulations by the way! PCOS can be a difficult condition to deal with when trying to get pregnant.
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