| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Is any man excited by an average looking female body after watching porn?
Q. I am concerned that my bfs constant access to a never ending stream of physically perfect women in porn to look at and masturbate to is causing him to get bored with my appearance. He simply doesn't seem excited by the sight of me anymore yet if h...
A. 9 July 2014: Your question is based on some false assumptions. You believe that men watch porn because of "perfect" women in porn. I watch porn too (which you probably don't, hence your false assumption) and women in porn look just like any other women in real ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in?
Q. I am not sure what to make of my crush's physical signals. Guys, would you initiate/maintain physical contact with a girl you aren't interested in? This guy I like is sort of a friend of a friend, so I know him, and we've gotten to know each oth...
A. 8 July 2014: It could be he likes you and wants to date you, yet it could also be that he wants to have sex with no strings attached. Some guys do want only sex, you know.
In order to find out his attention, if he comes closer to you physically, tell him blun... (read in full...)
"I wouldn't do that with you because I couldn't do that with someone who someday might be..." What was he going to say after that?
Q. So I tried being a bit more experimental with my boyfriend in the bedroom. He didn't respond very well saying that there were things he couldn't see himself doing with me because he doesn't see me like that. (In a slutty kind of way) He kinda said: ...
A. 8 July 2014: I think you are right in your guesses. That is what I would guess at too. That he doesn't want what he thinks is "trampy" sex with someone who he might marry. Then again, in my ears, he sounds quite judgmental thinking a sexual act somehow makes ... (read in full...)
Boob size and pain issues! Normal?
Q. hey I m 22. I recently noticed that my left breast is bigger than the right one. Is this normal and can being in a sexual involvement cause this? Also both my breasts pain a lot for 3 to 4 days every month? what could it be? please help me ......
A. 8 July 2014: It is normal. No woman has breasts of the exact same size. In some the variation is bigger than in others, but having one breast bigger is completely normal. It is not caused by anything, it is just the way we are born.
Your breasts are probably... (read in full...)
Steamy emails make me think I might be sharing her
Q. so i found on a shared computer a open e mail account, i opened it and right from the top i saw several e mails to one man in a span of several hours. i stared to open them and read, wow, some very steamy ones. some written in a short story form and ...
A. 7 July 2014: Im thinking this might be cyber sex, and that they haven't actually met. If they were meeting up having sex.. well, they wouldn't be needing the writing. That's just my guess, the truth we don't know.
I suggest thought that you confront her with... (read in full...)
Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 7 July 2014: At this day and age you're acting like a spoiled brat. You're an adult, who wants to sit and home and not contribute. Sorry, fellow woman, but you need to woman up and get your ass in gear. You're capable of much more than being your husbands pretty ... (read in full...)
I was to experiement sexually with my friend
Q. i have been thinking about it for a longtime and i really want to experiment with my close friend. i would like to get him to experiment with him but 1] when i hit on him he dont take it seriosly. 2] if we do what if he tells somebody. so how do i ...
A. 7 July 2014: Honeypie, of course he shouldn't do anything if the other party objects/doesn't want to. But when it comes to flirting, and especially when it comes to uncharted sexual territory, people find it veeeery awkward to "talk about it" beforehand. Some ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like she didn't mind my secretly massaging her?
Q. I was at a party at a pub and two people with me was my girlfriend and her best friend. No one was drunk, only light drinking if that. I had them in either side and at times arms around both. Everytime her friend sat down she was sit very close, ...
A. 7 July 2014: What does it matter if she liked it or not? You shouldn't have done it, that crosses the line to cheating. And with your girlfriends friend of all people. Show some class. ... (read in full...)
I was to experiement sexually with my friend
Q. i have been thinking about it for a longtime and i really want to experiment with my close friend. i would like to get him to experiment with him but 1] when i hit on him he dont take it seriosly. 2] if we do what if he tells somebody. so how do i ...
A. 7 July 2014: You're turned on by him, right? And you're both male? In which case, it means you are probably homosexual or bisexual. Doesn't mean you have to be turned on by all men, just the ones you like. Apparently, you like your friend in a way that is more ... (read in full...)
One night stand trouble
Q. Dear readers, I wonder does anyone have similar a similar problem: Lately any guy that I have sex with doesn't seem to be able to maintain an erection. I understand that nerves etc. can play havoc and mixed with alcohol can also play havoc, but...
A. 7 July 2014: A mans erectile dysfunction or presentation anxiety is on him. Not you.
What is on you, on the other hand, is the men you choose to take to bed. You apparently keep going for the same type of guys, who keeps having the same type of problem.... (read in full...)
No birthday present from boyfriend
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just wondering if your new boyfriend of 3 months does not get you a birthday present what would you think to that? He hasn't got much money at all. He got me a card, but I was hoping for a little something. Even some chocolates,...
A. 4 July 2014: You know.. I think there's no right answer to this one. It totally depends on the dynamic between the two of you and how you both are as a person. I can imagine it being totally acceptable to get only a card and then buy the take-away. I can also ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's only with me because of my daughter
Q. Hi. I'm a 42 year old woman that has left a 25 year relationship with an abusive ex partner. I am over him and his actions!! I know not all men are the same and I understand I may have some insecurities which I have openly discussed in detail w...
A. 4 July 2014: Love is not everything. This is not a healthy relationship. Why are you forcing yourself to be miserable, just because you supposedly love someone?
You can love him, yet be his friends. There. Love him all you want, but that doesn't mean you shou... (read in full...)
I'd like to let the new girl at work know that I am interested.
Q. So I'm a 17 year old who's worked at McDonald's for almost a year now and recently we just hired a new girl. She is very pretty and she is the same age and grade as me and we go to different schools. I talked to her once a little bit but I was just ...
A. 4 July 2014: Just start talking to her like you would talk to any colleague of yours/any new person. The time to show interest beyond that is later on, when you know a bit more about her. For now, you don't know if you're actually interested in her, you are just ... (read in full...)
Is it true that white girls don't like Indian guys?
Q. Hi, i'm an Indian. I am 20 years but i didnt ever travelled out of India. But soon i am going to visit some countries. My problem is I want to date with a white girl. But i am worried about do they like me or not. I am shy to approach them. One of ...
A. 3 July 2014: Why do you want to date a "white girl"? I think you need to ask yourself this question and come up with some valid reasons for why you are being somewhat discriminating. No "white girl" wants to be your girlfriend if you just want her because of her ... (read in full...)
I like a married guy. How do guys behave when they have genuine feelings for girl Versus if they just want sex?
Q. I like a guy whose older than me. He's married, I'm not. He's only really made a sexual joke once or twice. Other than that, he tells me i'm pretty/cute, he holds doors, tries to make me laugh, compliments me, goes out of his way to talk to me an...
A. 3 July 2014: Btw, if he had genuine feelings for you, my bet is he would NOT be flirting with you. Why? Because he is married, and falling in love with someone else whilst married is problematic and just painful. So he'd most likely try to avoid you, if he had ... (read in full...)
I like a married guy. How do guys behave when they have genuine feelings for girl Versus if they just want sex?
Q. I like a guy whose older than me. He's married, I'm not. He's only really made a sexual joke once or twice. Other than that, he tells me i'm pretty/cute, he holds doors, tries to make me laugh, compliments me, goes out of his way to talk to me an...
A. 3 July 2014: I think it's neither. He doesn't have feelings for you, and he's not after sex. He's after an ego boost. He liked feeling wanted (who doesn't) and finds it flattering that you give him attention, so he sucks up as much attention as he can get. But ... (read in full...)
Dating naive girls
Q. Sometimes I meet an attractive girl but then find she's very naive (has many male friends and doesn't believe that most of them just want to get in her pants eventually). That puts me off because I think I wouldn't be able to handle the jealousy, ...
A. 2 July 2014: Im not a man, but I can tell you my experience with naive men. Yes, men can be naive too... Just so you know. I've had two naive boyfriends in the past. In neither case was the women a problem in the relationship. They both were very handsome, ... (read in full...)
Would I be putting myself down if I take this job?
Q. Hello, i have a question!i have a high school diploma, and a computer application certificate. I live with m'y relative but due to their stingy life style, m'y health Is getting worse due to lack of food. Iam searching for job but its not That easy ...
A. 2 July 2014: A job is a job. Don't be a snob. If you need a job, and you're offered a job, what difference does it make what the job is? Besides, you're not bound to it for all eternity, if you find a better job later on you can always leave... No big deal. ... (read in full...)
Will my new job damage how my hair grows?
Q. I'm starting a new job soon. They keep the temperature cold there since it's a food warehouse. I know all that air conditioning makes the air extremely dry. I know if I dress warmly, I won't feel uncomfortable, but there is one thing in particular ...
A. 2 July 2014: Do you have winter where you live? How does your hair act then? And what temperatures are we talking about?
I would say that no, it wont do anything to your hair, because the hair is dead. I don't see how it would take damage from anything... (read in full...)
I am not trying to be a jerk but I have questions for the ladies here
Q. Why do I read about so many girls who flirt when they don't mean nothing by it and get confused why a guy ends up liking them? Do I have to be official and ask her on a date and flat say it's a date in order for her to know that? Do I ha...
A. 1 July 2014: I think some people, regardless of gender, do this as a confidence boost. Just to see if they can get your attention and keep your interest for a while, even if they're not actually serious. But please, don't sit there and say all girls do this, ... (read in full...)
I worry I might be too desperate!
Q. So a few months ago I met this girl on an online dating website and we hit it off so quickly. Everything was perfect and we had so much fun. About a month ago, we decided to start dating exclusively and thing went ok for a while. But recently we've ...
A. 29 June 2014: You're over the top and diving in too fast! I don't know if this is what is pushing her away, but if a man acted like you do towards me I would run for the hills! A love letter after being together just a month?? Problems in communication after just ... (read in full...)
Would this be classified as cheating?
Q. Hi everybody! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Me and my boyfriend were together for 5 years before the relationship ended. It was mainly my fault, I was writing my university dissertation, revising for exams, working to help my parents ...
A. 29 June 2014: Its not cheating, and I dont see anything wrong with it eithet. You were dating, but not exclusively. You dont own someone just because you date them. At that point, there was no guarantee you would be back together, and he needed to watch out for ... (read in full...)
He wants a baby but doesn't want to get married
Q. I've been with my bf for two and half years. I'm 23 and he is 40. He was married and it ended with a nasty divorce (before we met). I honestly see him as the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with but there is a huge problem. He doesn't want ...
A. 27 June 2014: No man, no matter how sweet, no matter how much you love him, no mater how great he is, is worth giving up your hopes and dreams for. No man.
He's not the one for you. Its hard to face, and painful to hear, but he's not the one for you. You need... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for extremely painful periods?
Q. Help! My periods are awful! They are so painful. I am currently on Tranexamic tablets for when I am on my period. It was okay when I first started them, but now they do not seem to be helping anymore. I went onto the pill and tried a few but I wa...
A. 25 June 2014: Continue with the pill for about three months to get the full effect of it. In the beginning your body is adjusting to the new hormones and you may experience negative side effects. So just a few pills wont give you the desired effect. Yes, you'll ... (read in full...)
He is pressuring me for anal sex and he is out of my league anyway......
Q. I have just turned eighteen years old and I have been with my boyfriend for about six months. Recently he's been pressuring me to have anal sex with him. He goes on and on about it even though I've said no several times. He doesn't respect my ...
A. 22 June 2014: Don't fool yourself. He's not out of your league. There's no such thing. He's either with you because he likes you or he's not with you because he likes someone else. No one dates anyone purely because they are in or out of some league. People ... (read in full...)
Why do so many women have issues with men watching porn?
Q. I'm just a bit curious. I dont understand why some women get mad just because they caught their husbands/bfs watching porn? what's the deal? I used to watch porn with my bf, I dont see the big deal... It doesnt bother me... but why does it bother o...
A. 19 June 2014: Because some women are bothered by their own insecurities and their own looks. They believe all other women are a threat.
That's the majority of those who are against porn. They're the insecure ones. But, as far as I know, it's not that many wom... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about my boyfriends female friend?
Q. So about two months ago my boyfriend (and his brother) met this girl in his degree. I know he tried to set her up with his brother, but it never came to anything. Anyway I guess they see each other around, they're Facebook friends and she has his ...
A. 16 June 2014: But you are distrusting. You snoop and read their messages? She gives him free food and somehow that means she wants to nail him? Your imagination is running wild. You need to have a chat with yourself about this, because you are creating a mountain ... (read in full...)
Am I normal to be upset that boyfriend went to a strip club?
Q. Am I normal getting upset my boyfreind went to a strip club? My boyfriend is best boyfriend in world however i dislike his friend's attitude to women. his friend always goes to strip clubs and wants to go out drinking and spends a fortune. I however ...
A. 15 June 2014: Let me start by saying I understand how you feel, and I have some ideas about this situation that I don't think you've considered. I don't think the problem here is the strip club at all. Let me tell you why. I had a boyfriend once who occasio... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship. How do people actually find no-strings sex?
Q. Call me Curious, I have been pondering this for quite awhile, males, females: "Am I the only one who wants sex? If not, how come it seems this way even becoming a new adult?" Here's some background, I'm a laidback guy who can get a lady god knows ...
A. 15 June 2014: Not sure what you meant to write in the beginning.. You can get a girl or you CAN'T get a girl? It wasn't clear. If you have problems flirting with women and aren't successful in that department then I think you will have a massive problem trying to ... (read in full...)
Men: What do you think of breast implants?
Q. I just got silicone breast implants and I think they are going to be great. A great improvement over my asymmetrical southbound breasts. Quite large on my rather small frame, but nothing that would draw stares or look like a porn star. Just a ...
A. 15 June 2014: Im not a man, but I have a fairly good idea about the answer to this question even so. There is no difference from silicone breasts and natural breasts when it comes to mens preference in women. Because men DO see women as more than the sum of their ... (read in full...)
I was stood up - was it necessary?
Q. Hi everyone! I recently met a guy online and we'd been chatting for awhile. He seemed genuine and asked me to meet up with him on Sunday (last weekend). He took my number and said he'd be in touch. We arranged to meet in my town and I messaged h...
A. 15 June 2014: I think some people are just cowards. Think of it as a good thing, you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a flaky guy like this anyway, so he did you a favour instead of wasting your time on him only to discover that he's like this later on. ... (read in full...)
We're on a break because he thinks he can't make me happy
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half and I decided to take an 8 week break this week. We have been arguing a lot because of my insecurity. He is INTP {introversion, intuition, thinking, perception - Moderator} personality and he doesn't feel that he ...
A. 12 June 2014: You don't have any options, get back on the market. This man is saying loud and clear that he doesn't want you, no matter what his WORDS are, look to his actions: he is pushing you away. He will continue to push you away. No, he will not make you ... (read in full...)
My vagina doesn't look so nice
Q. Hey guys I don't want him to see my vagina when i was younger i shaved it and i got shaving pimples and i got dark pimple spot and it doesn't look so nice ... what can i do ????...
A. 12 June 2014: Grow out your hair and he wont notice the dark spots?
Do you really think a guy cares? He doesn't. He's way too worried about whether or not you will think he's "small", he wont think about what you look like at all. ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 days and I'm wondering how to tell him that I want to wait to have sex?
Q. So I'm dating a new guy for about 2 days now. I'm 20 and hes 28. We meet at an anime convention in 2011 and ever since we've always seemed to constantly bump into one another all the time around town (for A-----, that's rare especially if you two ...
A. 9 June 2014: I don't understand.. you say you don't want to have sex with the person you love. Did you mean you wont have sex unless you love him?
Two days is way too early to introduce sex, and if he's pushing for it already then he's not a keeper.
Anyw... (read in full...)
I'm an ex but he doesn't remember!
Q. i went on a date with an ex he didn't know it was me its been 14 years since we last saw each other and ive put on 3 stone and now he wants to see me again do I tell him the truth who I am or shall I just keep quiet ?...
A. 9 June 2014: Keep quiet if you're just using him for a fun fling. Tell him the truth if you're serious about him. ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me and I don't know what to do
Q. Earlier this week I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me. We were hanging out at the park and he was showing me a text message from a friend that was funny. So i was read it and then decided to randomly look at his other texts for fun. ...
A. 9 June 2014: I have no idea what this "closure" thing is. I think it's made up. There is no such thing. You end things, and feel like shot for a period, and then you stop feeling that way and feel better and that's it. ... (read in full...)
Should people have to change their personalities for others?
Q. Hello people. I was reading an article about relationships today, and it said that you can't go into a relationship expecting that you won't need to adjust your personality. This seems like a pile of horse turds to me, but I was wondering what y...
A. 8 June 2014: Adjustment is needed in a relationship. Absolutely. But adjustment isn't change, there is a difference there. For example, when you were single you'd hang out with your friends all the time. If you're in a relationship you need to reduce time spent ... (read in full...)
Sex with two different men when dating?
Q. I'm new to dating....is it ok to have sex with 2 different men when neither of them are committed to you??...
A. 8 June 2014: Yes. It is okay. However, be aware of the unspoken signs of commitment. There are several people out there, men and women, who do not directly ask for commitment, or talk about it. They just assume you are an item. So if you are unsure about your ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me and I don't know what to do
Q. Earlier this week I found out my boyfriend of 7 years cheated on me. We were hanging out at the park and he was showing me a text message from a friend that was funny. So i was read it and then decided to randomly look at his other texts for fun. ...
A. 8 June 2014: He's not sorry he cheated, he's sorry he got caught.
It's lame as to come and "confess" after being found out, and to wish it never happened only AFTER you find out.
If he was truly remorseful, do you think he's text his buddy to BRAG ab... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got drunk and his friends called his ex to come get him, not me!
Q. I'm so angry right now that I feel like I could burst! My boyfriend of 10 months spent the night at his ex wife's house after a drunken night out with pals, and even though I believe him when he says nothing happened, mainly because when he is THAT ...
A. 7 June 2014: Having been in a relationship where my then bf's friends would do the same type of thing... well, I'm not ever going to go through that again.
If this is a one off, the forget about it. But sounds to me like they like his ex wife and they don... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend says oral sex doesn't turn her on. Is she bored or seeing someone else?
Q. Hello, Am 27 years old, am in a 7 months relationship , distance deny us sometimes but we talk over the phone . Most times when we see each other, we do have sex and also perform oral sex together. Recently she told me she doesn't really get arou...
A. 7 June 2014: It means you're not doing it right. ... (read in full...)
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