A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have just turned eighteen years old and I have been with my boyfriend for about six months. Recently he's been pressuring me to have anal sex with him. He goes on and on about it even though I've said no several times. He doesn't respect my decision and wants to change my mind. He made me watch anal porn to try and get me in the mood for it. But it upset me. I feel like I owe it to him or something though because I feel like I don't deserve to be treated well because he's out of my league really. What can I do to make him take my decision seriously and not hassle me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2014): I do wonder if he's older than you and that's one reason you feel so pressured?If he is your age, however, then the way porn makes it look so clean and effortless is what's influencing him. A reason, not an excuse.If he's not a violent or agressive person, just pushy, you could say to him "I will NOT be on the receiving end of anal sex. However, should you still wish to partake in it, maybe you should buy yourself something I could use to let you be on the receiving end of it."If you're worried he may be aggressive or violent, or have any doubt that he won't take it well, do NOT say it. Just tell him that you HAVE to break up because he is disrespecting you every time he pushes the topic. I must warn you, OP, that some guys get so frustrated that their fantasies do not get carried out, that they force it on ther partner. This means you MUST break up with him BEFORE he has that chance.
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Due to the influence of him watching anal porn, it’s plain to see where he gets his ideas, he’s trying to pressure and use you like a D class actor… I read somewhere that anal sex actors are commonly paid far less than those other actors who simply perform sex in the regular position. It’s like the more degrading the less you get paid and so on…
If you wish to owe anybody anything; owe it to yourself first; to be treated TOP CLASS and first rate in and out of the bedroom! If you wish to experiment be it on your terms and not some boyfriend of 6 months.
If he does not have respect for you, then you have respect for yourself and tell him to stick it up his own anus! Also note that these actors lose control of their bowel motions, as the muscle in this area has been repeatedly abused over time and stretched!
Take Care – CAA
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2014): You need to get away from him and fast. You ARE good enough, in fact, you're BETTER than him. He sounds absolutely revolting. You are worth a lot more than being treated like that. Please leave him before you get hurt.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Eww what a disgusting pig.
If you have already TOLD him you don't WANT to engage in ANAL sex he should respect you, but this guy WON'T because you LET him DISRESPECT you.
He is SO not out of your league, HE is out of yours.
DUMP him, end it. LET him to find his anal partner and you can find a guy who will treat you with love, care and respect.
YOU certainly do NOT OWE him a darned thing or favor.
I have to say that I fear Mark is right, that you will DO things for this and other cads because you want to PLEASE them. I hope I'm wrong. I hope you REALIZE and ACCEPT that there are no leagues you do not belong it and that DOING things you don't WANT to do in order to please a man will ONLY make YOU feel worse.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Listen . . . You don't owe him anything. You've said no and he clearly can't respect that so what I say what you should do is break up with this guy! You deserve better than someone who doesn't respect your decision when you say no.
If he wants anal, he should get it elsewhere. DO NOT do whatever he wants you to do just because you feel he is out of your league. He may be good looking or whatever it is that's makes you think he is out of your league but forcing anal out of a woman who has boundaries that should be respected makes him dirt ugly. Leave him immediately.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2014): You owe him nothing. If you don't wanna do it be firm and don't. You may want to dump him also because he does not respect your decision. Also if he knows that you think he is out of your league then that is the reason why he insists on anal: to extract something from you before he dumps you. Therefore get rid of this guy before he gets rid of you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2014): Please break up with him immediately. That is the most important and best thing you can do for yourself here. You don't owe him anything. He is a bully & a creep and he doesn't care about you one bit. He's not worthy of you in any way.
My advice is not to have anal sex with anyone. The anus is not made for intercourse, you can be damaged and contract diseases more easily, which is reason enough not to.
Work on yourself. No one forces you to watch porn etc. unless you agree to it. If you don't want to do something don't do it.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 Don't fool yourself. He's not out of your league. There's no such thing. He's either with you because he likes you or he's not with you because he likes someone else. No one dates anyone purely because they are in or out of some league. People generally want to have feelings for one another before they enter a relationship.
But perhaps that's just the problem here? You don't have feelings for him, and you're just with him because you feel like you "have" to, since he's supposedly out of your league? If you feel obligated to perform sexual acts you don't want to, then it wouldn't surprise me if you also feel obligated to be in a relationship you don't want.
I say dump him. He doesn't respect your no, and you don't think you deserve to be treated well by him. Obviously, he's not a good boyfriend to you, and if the only reason you are with him is because you feel obligated to, then you need to leave him.
Show some class and take pride in yourself. You are "worth" just as much as him, there are no leagues. He could get a new girl, but you know what? You can also find another boyfriend.
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (22 June 2014):
 "I feel like I owe it to him or something though because I feel like I don't deserve to be treated well because he's out of my league really"
NO! NO! NO! Don't ever think like that. Please don't ever think you owe ANYONE something sexual you are not comfortable with. Even if you were the ugliest girl alive (which i'm sure you most certainly are not) and He was the most handsome Prince on earth with women begging to go out with him, you owe him nothing sexual.
So what would you do if he cheated on you? Beg him to come back saying "its my fault you cheated, im not good enough for you"? What if he hit you? Would you think you "deserved it" because your not in his league? What if he rapped you? Would you be grateful he forced you into sex as he is better than you? Come on OP enough of this!!!
No matter how much you love someone you shouldn't feel you OWE them sexual acts which you are not comfortable with.
Your BF is horrible, manipulative and trying to do the guilt trip routine or making you feel you should be grateful to be with him to get you to take it up the arse.
Let me quote something to you: "He made me watch anal porn to try and get me in the mood for it. But it upset me" Read that again, these are your words..."He MADE ME watch anal porn to try and get me in the mood for it. But it UPSET ME". He MADE you watch porn, he dictated to you, he gave you no choice. He knew it upset you yet now he wants to MAKE YOU do that act that you found so upsetting. What a pig!
Any man who doesn't respect a woman's sexual decisions disgusts me. You deserve better yet you talk about not being in this guys league WTF!? He will carry on pressurising you and not taking no for an answer until eventually he will either force you, make you or wear you down enough to do it. Then you will realize what a pig, and an inconsiderate guy this is but it will be too late. You will feel awful, hurt, upset and violated. No means No, end of.
Your confidence is low right now so you feel you have to do what he wants to avoid loosing him. Well you should be ditching this guy right now and finding a nice guy, not lowering yourself because your manipulative BF is making you feel inferior!!!
My brother used to treat his Gfs like shit...he came home drunk one night, wanted sex and got on top of her, and was violently sick in her face and mouth. Nice. Five minutes later she was crying saying "Its my fault, I deserve it, im not good enough for you!". Why did she think like that? Because my brother acted in a way that made her feel he was some kind of superstar and she was lucky to be with him by the skin of her teeth, so she put up with all sorts. Don't make that mistake.
"What can I do to make him take my decision seriously and not hassle me?"
Ditch this guy. He knows damn well you don't want anal but wont accept that until he gets it. To get it he forces you to watch porn that upsets you, without giving a flying **** s to how it makes you feel and manipulates you into thinking you "owe" him annal sex. He wont change and so you need to move on.
OP you are young and naïve, you also have a warped view of how a relationship should be. I hope you will take heed of my advice, but somehow I have a feeling you wont. You will more than likely end up having anal sex with him because "you don't want to loose him" or because you "Love him".
Mark
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