| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Pregnant and confused! What should I do?
Q. heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...
A. 1 March 2014: Btw, I guess this depends on what country you live in (and is unrelevant to the original post I wrote), but here in Norway a man can not just choose to ignore his child. They have to pay, and then they have to spend time with the child in shared ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and confused! What should I do?
Q. heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...
A. 1 March 2014: Men don't get pregnant. But men do become fathers in the very same sense that women become mothers. It's not the pregnacy that is the problem here, it is the potential future as a mom or dad... And yeah, guys become dads just as much as women become ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 1 March 2014: "'s like I told you go over to that computer write a C++ program that can convert temperature and calculate thermal energy. Well you will need someone to teach you and gain some experience."
No, it's like riding a bike. You will never learn ho... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 1 March 2014: Ive never heard of the term "cold approach", but whatever it is, taking to someone is the ONLY thing that actually works, when it comes to getting to know someone. Anyone. You can't meet anyone at all, get to know anyone at all, unless you speak to ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and confused! What should I do?
Q. heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...
A. 28 February 2014: You don't get pregnant if you use a condom, it really is that simple. My guess is, as it is with most of these cases, is the guys assumed the girl was on the pill and didnt bring a condom and didn't care. If he cared, he would have used a condom and ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 28 February 2014: You assume she must be a stranger at a bus stop. But she might as well be a friend of a male buddy of yours, who you would be supposed to walk over and say hi to anyways... Why do you insist on making things complicated?
So what if she feels "i... (read in full...)
Pregnant and confused! What should I do?
Q. heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...
A. 27 February 2014: Both are shocked? I think they're dumb, didnt they know sex can lead to pregnancy?
Sorry, but there two guys don't sound that intelligent, and if I were you I'd certainly not depend on either of them to step up. Or contribute to much, they don... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 27 February 2014: 1. Identify a woman
2. Walk over to her
3. Say , and introduce yourself
Thats the basics. The rest is try and fail.... (read in full...)
Should I tell the employer that I can only start the week after I finish the course?
Q. Should I finish this training course to get a job, or should I get a job when the course is finished?. I am on a training course that the jobcentre have put me on at the moment. I started last week, and finish on the 14th March. However, I have been ...
A. 25 February 2014: You have an interview, not a job offer. They are two different things. You dont take classes to learn how to do interviews, you go to the interviews in order to get that experience.
Now, if you get the job, then why would you need to finish a... (read in full...)
I want to be exclusive, he's not so sure
Q. I met this guy online, we've been talking for about two months. We've had a few discussions about us being together, but of course we both feel it's best to be friends first before we date. Though, I have mentioned being exclusive. We've gotten into ...
A. 25 February 2014: Being exclusive doesnt mean you marry each other, it just means you dont sleep with other people. Or date other people. If he sees himself as being in a relatioship with you then he needs to be exclusive. Then again, if you haven't even met yet, or ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 23 February 2014: It's perfectly okay to find it scary and not want to do it. Everyone finds it uncomfortable to move out of their comfort zone. But it gets easier as you get used to it. Like bicycling, to use an old metaphor. You can't learn to ride the bike without ... (read in full...)
Big Girl with Low Self Esteem. And I just lost my virginity to my married friend. What should I do now?
Q. I’m sort of a big girl who has always had a very low self-esteem because of my size. As a matter of fact, up until a week ago I was still a virgin at 26 thanks to my insecurities. I’ve been best friends with a guy since high school that I’ve alw...
A. 23 February 2014: By the way, I really really do hope you used a condom, or that you took the morning after pill. Because the last thing you want is to get pregnant by this man. ... (read in full...)
Big Girl with Low Self Esteem. And I just lost my virginity to my married friend. What should I do now?
Q. I’m sort of a big girl who has always had a very low self-esteem because of my size. As a matter of fact, up until a week ago I was still a virgin at 26 thanks to my insecurities. I’ve been best friends with a guy since high school that I’ve alw...
A. 23 February 2014: Do not call his wife. You are his friend, it is not in your place to rat to his wife. That is between him and her. Also remember... Your friend is not a friend any longer, because youve had sex. Things may never go back to the way they were. And you ... (read in full...)
He keeps cancelling on me at the last minute
Q. I have been talking to a guy for a few weeks now. I really like him and he says he likes me, too. We have similar interests and career goals (music and art) and we are both kind of socially awkward and creative people; I think we click well (but he ...
A. 23 February 2014: I say drop him. He clearly has no respect for you, its not that hard to pick up the phone and send a text saying you cant make it. He wasnt even sorry! And you were the one who had to call him!! I say stop making plans with him, because he has ... (read in full...)
Does having anal sex make me no longer a virgin?
Q. I pledged not to lose my virginity until marrige but it has been hard with my kind of personality seeing naked guys and me getting wet. All the thoughts about having sex. I have a guy in my house currently and he has been here for over a week. At ...
A. 22 February 2014: How do you think gay men lose their virginity? Or lesbians?
What exactly do you want to keep for your future husband? Because, this guy you are having sex with is no longer a virgin, he had sex with you. And by so many definitions, you are no l... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 22 February 2014: My point was not to give you dating tips, but to tell you that women actually have a harder time than men when it comes to this. You think it is easy for women to just sit and wait and wait and then what happens when no guy talks to her? She just ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 21 February 2014: "One thing to realize is that you are women, and you guys have it easy. You guys have the power to either accept or reject him and wait for the next guy."
No, we don't have it easy at all. You're dead wrong. Women are just as desperate for a ma... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 20 February 2014: Can you count how many negative things you have written in your last update? And how many positive? You are not being honest with yoursrlf about reality. You are lying to yourself, saying negative things over and over. Just like women MAY find you ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 19 February 2014: I've read several places that people who think they are amazing have good confidence... You wont get confidence from anything if, at the end of the day, you're going to sit there and talk low of yourself, calling yourself ugly etc.
Confi... (read in full...)
His penis doesn't really stand up!
Q. Im 24 and Me and my boyfriend recently just started having sex, and I noticed that his penis doesn't really stand up. He can be fully hard but it still kind of flops over. I don't know if this is normal and he doesn't really seem to care about it. I ...
A. 18 February 2014: If he's fully erect it just means it is how his penis is curved. Some curve up, some curve down, some to the sides. Most will swing to one side or the other, and most do have a slight curve to their penises. But some have a more distinct curve than ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 14 February 2014: Dear poster. I hope you can take this seriously for your own health and future. You have a very dark thought process, and are filled with negative "truths" that are not truths at all, but ideas your mind has been feeding you to hold yourself down. ... (read in full...)
Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?
Q. Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...
A. 13 February 2014: I agree with your frustration OP. Just because people want to make small boobed women feel great, doesnt mean they need to trash big boobs. It is the exact same with fat/skinny people. Skinny people have feelings too, and dont like to be called ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 February 2014: Women do not love that job, but do you think there'd be any customers if they told the truth?... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 February 2014: It is a question of morals. Paying a woman for sex, or even thinking that it is normal to do so, speaks of a non-existing respect for women, that women are only objects. Are women only bodies to have sex with for your own pleasure? Or are we humans ... (read in full...)
Has anyone had experience of a lump in the breast and found out later that it was not cancer? Just need some calming and reassuring please?
Q. Just wanted to say first, I have already been to the doctor and I am having tests run. Has anyone had any experience with finding a lump or something abnormal in their breast? I have found a lump recently and I am waiting on some test results ...
A. 10 February 2014: Yes, my mother has several lumps in her breasts. She was examined, and it was nothing dangerous. But just since she naturally has these lumps it becomes extra important to check the breasts, so you get familiar enough with the already existing lumps ... (read in full...)
Flirting tips anyone?
Q. What are some helpful successful flirting tips for a shy girl without coming off as stupid, desperate, or anything else bad?... I have never I dated. I tend to say dumb thinks whenever around a guy I like. I've been asked by the wrong guys. I ne...
A. 10 February 2014: Being approachable is actually the best advice ever. Guys are told they are the ones who need to flirt, while women are supposed to sit idly by and wait. So by just being approachable you've done 90% of the job already.
Smile, make eye contact.... (read in full...)
My friend is in a relationship after just three dates with this guy! Is that too quick?
Q. My friend has been on three dates with this guy and already they are in a relationship! Am I the only one who thinks that is very quick? She said that they didn't see any need dragging it out when they know they'd want to be together and like each ...
A. 9 February 2014: Like I just read in a blog somewhere, in Norway we don't really date. So I have no idea what the "normal" amount of dates are before you are in a relationship. Custom here, where I am from anyway, is that if you like someone romantically, and they ... (read in full...)
Can you do fine without friends?
Q. Hey everyone, so I'll try to make this as simple as I can. I have a problem I'd like to talk about here and get advice, but also have a few questions. My questions basically has to do with friendships and people. How important is friendship? What...
A. 9 February 2014: You can do fine without friends. But that is only if you are the type of person who does not like the company of others, and are at your happiest when alone. Such people do exist, I used to be like that myself. I honestly did not enjoy the company ... (read in full...)
My Bf admitted that he sometimes thinks about other girls during sex with me. How do I deal with this?
Q. Hey everyone, there is something that is bothering me and I don't know what to think about it, so I would like your opinions. Last night, my boyfriend and I had had a couple of drinks and were talking (and maybe saying more than we would have if...
A. 9 February 2014: I just have to ask. When you say you think about his best friend, what do you then mean by saying you always imagine it to be your boyfriend?... (read in full...)
Will a fwb relationship help me gain confidence?
Q. Hi Cupids, I was wondering if you could help me out. This is the age old Friends with Benefits question. I'm 18 and me and this lad like each other but neither willing to commit to a relationship. We've hung out and messed around a bit and ...
A. 8 February 2014: I think it wouldn't make a difference at all to your confidence. Confidence comes from inside, not from having sex with several people, or sex with friends, or sex with a hot guy, or sex with a douche. Confidence comes from yourself. If you haven't ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about bad decisions I've made
Q. Hey I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm in a relationship with a 25 year old man who I am breaking up with on Saturday. I saw controlling signs before but now I've really seen them, I actually feel afraid of him. We have only been together for 3 months ...
A. 6 February 2014: It doesn't help that I tell you to not be guilty, so instead I will go with this: Be guilty! Or angry, or upset with yourself, or whatever you want. You regret what you did, you wish you hadn't. But, you know what? All women, and all men I suppose, ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend has had a bad accident but I can't visit him. Any advice?
Q. I'm currently completely my last semester of college (just two classes) and interning at a great company. I hope to work for them full-time after graduation. My boyfriend is in the middle of his MBA program in Shanghai. I'm from the States and he's ...
A. 5 February 2014: I'm sorry, but I have to echo YouWish, because that's exactly what I think as well. If he was in an accident and you didn't hear about it for three weeks, and it wasn't like he was unable to tell you... Well, it is blatantly obvious that he didn't ... (read in full...)
She's pregnant and my parents aren't supportive
Q. I'm a senior in high school and I found out a few days ago that my gf is pregnant ! I didn't except my parents to take the news well but I didn't except it to go as bad as it did either. My parents are strict and put a lot of focus on school a...
A. 5 February 2014: Talk to a counselor, do you have one at shcool? A school nurse perhaps? Go together with your girlfriend. Go together with her to your doctor as well for the check-up, and get information.
I am not informed about the laws in your country,... (read in full...)
I feel embarrassed that I couldn't reach climax with my new partner
Q. Hey dear cupiders, I'm not sure if this is an appropriate place to ask but not sure where else to ask and since this site has helped me before I thought it may help again. I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and he really turns me ...
A. 1 February 2014: Was this your first time ever, or just first time with this partner?
I've had three virgins, and none of the could come the first time. The feelings was just too new, too different, too strong, they were having a great time and enjoyed themselv... (read in full...)
Is there a correlation between a woman's breast size and her partner's use of porn?
Q. I've noticed that there seems to be a link between women with small chests and them saying their boyfriends watch porn and they don't like it. I want to know is there anyone who is big chested and has a boyfriend who uses porn? ...
A. 1 February 2014: There is no such link.
But you should know, in most mens eyes, boobs come in three sizes only. Small = you can get the entire boob in your mouth, perfect nibbling size. Medium = you can cover the boob with your hand, perfect grabbing size. Bi... (read in full...)
My friend has changed. Is he becoming more "manly" through a subconscious need to fit in, or is this the "real him"?
Q. I'm a little confused and hurt as to why my male friend seems very distant. We have been friends for about 4 years, but became closer after we kept in touch after we finish college. And NO before anyone pipes up I have no feelings for him I have a ...
A. 31 January 2014: He is weak and insecure. Neither version is probably the "real" him. Or both are. The real him is a guy who is feminine when with female friends, and reckless and stupid when with youger, reckless friends. Apparebtly. Starting smoking just because ... (read in full...)
I want to take some of my family to Disney World, but would rather not invite everyone
Q. I'm in the process of planning a trip to Disney World for myself, my husband, and five of my cousin's children. I've budgeted it all out for the 7 of us. The reason I wanted to take this trip is because their father, my cousin, died recently. T...
A. 31 January 2014: PS. depending on the circumstances, if you are very afraid of making things uneven you can give them a gift instead of bringing them along.
If the children are below the age of 5, I don't really think they will notice or know if the others a... (read in full...)
I want to take some of my family to Disney World, but would rather not invite everyone
Q. I'm in the process of planning a trip to Disney World for myself, my husband, and five of my cousin's children. I've budgeted it all out for the 7 of us. The reason I wanted to take this trip is because their father, my cousin, died recently. T...
A. 31 January 2014: Go with the plan as you originally thought. You can't tip toe around everyone's feelings, and the other two children still have their parents. No one died there. And they get to be together all the time. SURE they might get jealous. Who doesn't want ... (read in full...)
How young is too young when it comes to settling down and having children?
Q. Hello helpers! This is a relatively quick question, but one that i'd love some input for! I'm 18 years old, turning 19 this year. I'd say I was pretty mature for my age (alot of this coming from bad experiences in childhood). I'm currently dating...
A. 31 January 2014: It might feel longer, but a month is still only a month, and friendship is very different from relationship. A year and a half is the minimum amount of time before you actually know your partner beyond the exterior.
I absolutely can not stand th... (read in full...)
How does chemistry work?
Q. I want to know how it works for example when you're with a girl and you're looking into her eyes and she's also looking into yours you start feeling that chemistry between you and her, my question is, is she feeling it too? Or is something that you ...
A. 30 January 2014: When it is real you wont have to ask. ... (read in full...)
Taken advantage of in business with friend
Q. Hi all, I have a problem with a friend that I have known since I was 12 yrs old. Recently she opened a shop and as I have a manufacturing business she asked me if I had any excess stock that she could put in her store on consignment. For those w...
A. 30 January 2014: Yeah, stop thinking this is all about you. Shes probably so conserned about herself now that you just arent the priority in her life that you used to be. Deal with her business as you deal with all other businesses. This is how you should have done ... (read in full...)
How much value should I put on something my boyfriend said in his sleep?
Q. My boyfriend was mumbling in his sleep the other night and he said: "no I don't want to get engaged!" Now I know I'm probably being silly but do you think that's how he actually feels? Wish fulfilment and all that. He has expressed that w...
A. 29 January 2014: How do you know he was talking about getting engaged to you?
My guess is that he's been running engagement-thoughts over in his head, his dream picked up those words and placed it in a setting related to something else. Dream are to interpre... (read in full...)
How does chemistry work?
Q. I want to know how it works for example when you're with a girl and you're looking into her eyes and she's also looking into yours you start feeling that chemistry between you and her, my question is, is she feeling it too? Or is something that you ...
A. 28 January 2014: Chemistry is felt by both parties. However, you are inexperienced with this. So what you think is chemistry might not actually be anything other than wishful thinking on your side. You need to be more experienced with chemistry before you are able ... (read in full...)
I discovered that I'm bi? should I come out?
Q. I have a huge crush on my friend. Its my second crush. My friend is a girl, so that means im bisexual. Should I tell anyone or wait? ...
A. 28 January 2014: I think you should tell people if you want to. There's no rules on this, you can tell anyone what you want as long as you are comfortable about it. But you don't have an obligation to inform anyone if you want to wait.
However, I found it very ... (read in full...)
My friends arent nice to my boyfriend!
Q. I'm 15 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Two of my best friends despise him but I really am fond of him, he has been not wanting to come over if they are there because they are really not very nice to him, I've tried talking ...
A. 26 January 2014: Tell your friends that they don't get to dictate who you date. It's one thing if they didn't like him, but kept it to themselves. But bullying is very, very low. You need to be a big girl now and tell them they can't continue to bully him, and if ... (read in full...)
Is it inappropriate for a woman to give fragrance as a gift to a man who she isn't in a relationship with?
Q. Is it inappropriate for a woman to give fragrance as a gift to a man who she isn't in a relationship with? I had an argument with my girlfriend when she saw a type of aftershave that I wouldn't normally buy at my place and asked where I got it. I ...
A. 25 January 2014: It really is in a gray zone. I wouldn't mind buying my brother aftershave or perfume. And I did actually give a male friend perfume once, but it was not bought for him, it was a bottle I had laying about. And, important to note: we were both single ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be curious about what sex is like with other men?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. It's my first serious relationship. He's 40. I'm 23. We get along well. Sex is good most of the time. He makes me laugh, he's kind, listens and really cares about me. The thing is lately I've been thinki...
A. 25 January 2014: He doesn't have to be a bad guy for you to end the relationship. Ending a relationship isn't something we do to punish our partners if they behave bad. Although Hollywood movies would have us think otherwise. But people who just aren't that great of ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
