A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I tried being a bit more experimental with my boyfriend in the bedroom. He didn't respond very well saying that there were things he couldn't see himself doing with me because he doesn't see me like that. (In a slutty kind of way) He kinda said: "I wouldn't do that with you because I couldn't do that with someone who someday might be..." And trailed off. He's not an overly sexualised person,likes it often but quite traditional. He enjoys it... I think he's done stuff in the past. Says I'm not at tramp to him!(joking about thinking women are tramps of course!) Does it mean that he's got respect for me and what he was going to say was he couldn't do that stuff with someone who might someday be ...wife? Mother of children? .. Or am I reading too much into it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2014): Yup, he sees you as marriage material to whom whe wants to committ his heart.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 Hmmm. Madonna-whore complex, maybe?
He sees you or at least wants to see you as this pure, clean, virginal woman who performs traditional, wifely duties and leaves the trampy sex to the whores. And like he hasn't done anything in his past? This could make for a fantastic debate on feminism but we'll just leave that for now.
Its a shame really...that men still think in this way. Basically women aren't supposed to enjoy sex or experiment except lie flat in the missionary position and wait for the man to have an orgasm.
Oh...and yes...he sees you as his future wife and the mother of his children. At least till you dont fudge up and upset his apple cart!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2014): Yes, that's what I thought he ment, a wife and mother of his children. Its a pity though that he has this mentality. You guys could have so much fun in the bedroom. hope you still do though:)
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 I think you are right in your guesses. That is what I would guess at too. That he doesn't want what he thinks is "trampy" sex with someone who he might marry. Then again, in my ears, he sounds quite judgmental thinking a sexual act somehow makes someone worth less as a person. I'd be cautious... are you sure you want to get serious with a man who might some day think of you as too trampy to marry, just because you might have suggested/done some sexual acts that he thinks makes you trampy?
To each their own, maybe it was just a slip of tongue. But watch out for these warning signs. Behaving like other women are worth less, and putting you on a pedestal, refusing to do certain sexual acts because they might "lower your value" are not good signs. Women are not a merchandise who's value can decrease... If he thinks like this then it shows a lack of respect for women, and this lack of respect will be shown in other ways than just the bedroom too....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2014): I do believe he meant to say something along the lines of "you might someday be my wife" or "you might someday be the mother of our children".
Whether that's a sign of respect to you as a person...I can't really tell.
In MY opinion, if he's a traditionalist, he might be of the mentality that "sluts" are for dating while virgins or sexually-tamed women are suited to be wives and mothers. Hence, why he doesn't want to try raunchy, adventurous things in bed with you. It would ruin his sparkling image of you.
But, maybe I'm putting words into his mouth. You know your boyfriend better than I do. Just adding my perspective.
...............................
|
