A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm new to dating....is it ok to have sex with 2 different men when neither of them are committed to you?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2014): I was hoping you'd come to this conclusion. I wouldn't want you to miss-out on a possibly good relation with just one guy. How you're judged by someone special that actually cares for you does matter.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 June 2014):
Smart move OP :)Good luck on finding that special someone :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI followed your advice :-)and I'm concentrating on one at a time some of my friends were saying oh just go out have fun that's what dating is about.....not for me i just cant handle it!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (9 June 2014):
Would you be okay with the guys to date having sex with another and you?? If yes...then go for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks my gut feeling is that its wrong so thanks for the advice.....casual sex isn't my style at all :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014): As a male I would never view you as anything like relationship tackle. Sex yes, relationship no way.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014): WiseOwlE said: "Men do not think as women do, and will be happy to have casual sex as long as you want to."
Can I just say, I am a man, and I do not engage in casual sex and I know many other men who don't (and no, we aren't all religious, we just only have sex with someone we are 'exclusive' with)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014): It's okay to have sex with as many men as you want; as long as you're practicing safe-sex (using condoms); and it isn't your intent to be a player. Don't attach your feelings; then decide you want something more. They may assume you're only sex-buddies. If one does attach his feelings; you'll have a problem, if he's not the one you like the most.
I suppose you are in the middle of deciding which one you do like. Maybe you're wondering which of the two is most emotionally, as well as physically, attracted to you.
Men do not think as women do, and will be happy to have casual sex as long as you want to. The problem is, if you get attached without warning; they may suddenly end it.
Be prepared for that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 For me personally, that would not be OK.
I would not date a guy who was having sex with someone else while we are still in the dating/getting to know you phase. I would find that.. sorta gross, to put it mildy. Because I don't know whom else he sleeps with and I AM putting myself at risk for STD's when sleeping with someone taking sex so casually. So MY morals/values it would be a no go.
BUT it is a personal choice.
I think if you are UPFRONT about seeing other people in that phase and the GUYS are OK with it, there should be no problem.
However, I do think a lot of people think as I do. That sex is for someone you are in a relationship with. It's just too casual for some, to have sex with several people at the same time.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (9 June 2014):
 Technically you aren't breaking any rules, but be forewarned that many men and women are a put off when they discover someone they're interested in just had sex with someone else a few nights earlier.
We've had a number of posts from people who have just found out their boyfriend or girlfriend was having casual sex with another (or others) while they were first dating. Once it's an issue, I don't know if the bad feelings ever really go away.
If you were going OUT on DATES and there is no expectation of exclusivity then people are generally ok with that.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 June 2014):
 Yes. It is okay. However, be aware of the unspoken signs of commitment. There are several people out there, men and women, who do not directly ask for commitment, or talk about it. They just assume you are an item. So if you are unsure about your status with these men, it could be wise to bring it up and ask.
But signs to look out for when it comes to unspoken commitments: He calls you often just to see how you are doing. He texts you good night. He introduces you to his friends. He invites you on dates where sex is not part of the program. He holds your hand. He kisses you in public.
If any of your guys does 3 of the above, then he's committing to you. On what level his commitment lies is unknown, but it shows he at least isn't openly seeing anyone else, and is most likely starting to think of you as his girlfriend.
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