A
male
age
,
*retton
writes:so i found on a shared computer a open e mail account, i opened it and right from the top i saw several e mails to one man in a span of several hours. i stared to open them and read, wow, some very steamy ones. some written in a short story form and sexy at that. like referring to her girls, protein shakes to go with big sausages . they have meet, had sex? I don't know, but from reading they have done something. again these e mails are hot, steamy sexy like 50 shades of gray. she sends at least 2 to 3 messages a day for the past 3 months.this has me very upset, i love her she loves me, both 60, not kids. we spend a lot of time together but don't live together. he was a co worker but she is retired now. she has a very high sex drive, also 3 years ago when we decided to go together she told me about him, had been having sex with him for 4 years once a month while she was married. i told her if she wanted me that i don't share well at all. she said then you can have me.how can i ask her about this without getting in to much hot water. yep, i did wrong by reading, but it is a shared computer, mainly hers, the e mail is open a lot of times. i just started to read it last week. in some of them she seems to think of me a lot and times it looks like she can't wait for me to go back to my home. and he knows about me and now i know about him, but neither one know that i know about them.so here i sit and type asking for help, this has me very upset. i need to resolve this. i sure would like to keep her, but i fear the trust is gone. fire away i can take the good with the bad.
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male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (8 July 2014):
 Hi Bretton,
I'm sorry to say this is an open and shut case, but please don't be sorry about it. You didn't do anything wrong except maybe trusting a serial cheater.
It's time to have it out in the open and then, you need to put her to the curb. She will never change, will make up all the excuses in the world and still do it behind your back.
It's not like you hacked her account, she left a join account open. It smacks of arrogance in my opinion. She is blatantly flaunting this in your nose.
Let her go my friend.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2014): What in the hell you are being apologetic for?
You were reading a joint email account and accidentally discovered that you are being cheated on. They have a sexual history, she has used him as a cheating partner before, and she has been keeping their current steamy stuff a secret from you.
This is an open-and-shut case. You said you wanted faithfulness, she said okay, and now she continues to cheat behind your back. The woman is a cheater. She did it to the last guy and now she is doing it to you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 Im thinking this might be cyber sex, and that they haven't actually met. If they were meeting up having sex.. well, they wouldn't be needing the writing. That's just my guess, the truth we don't know.
I suggest thought that you confront her with what you know. Try to not let your feelings get the best of you. Write down some questions you want to ask her, just so you wont forget to ask them in the heat of the argument/conversation. Try to remember that you do not know if anything is actually going on.
Before you talk to her you might also want to think about how you feel about this, and how you feel about the possible different scenarios. Try to make up your mind about whether you want to continue a relationship with her, or not. If you've already decided that you dont want to continue a relationship with her, based on the e-mails alone, then there is no need to talk to her about this. All you will have to do then is tell her it's over, why, and walk away.
But if you want to continue things, or at least know more information before you decide, then talk to her. There's not much else you can do. Cheating is for most people a deal breaker, and the trust can not always be re-built. Sometimes it is for the better to walk away, rather than stay and always wonder and feel the pain.
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A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (7 July 2014):
 I'm afraid there is nothing to resolve here. If you wait on this woman to change her ways, you'll die waiting. Sorry to sound morbid, but you'll never be able to trust her. She has no regret what so ever about what she's doing. She cheated in her marriage, and now she's cheating on you. She is a serial cheater. This kind of person isn't relationship material.
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