| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I'm struggling to love my baby girl!
Q. Can someone help me with this but I honestly think I don't know how to love, I have a baby girl who is 15months, I take care of her as that is my human instincts to make sure she is ok andd has everything she needs, I have no problem doing all the ...
A. 4 April 2014: I wont go into a lengthy answer, sorry. But that's not to mean your problem is easy to answer. It just means that, I do not have the right words to help you. And honestly, I do not think words from others are what you need. I think you need to talk ... (read in full...)
Am I being horrible to ask him to get tested?
Q. What should I do? Why won't he get tested? Am I overreacting? So I haven't being with a guy sexually for 3years now and I've been dating this guy for almost a year now and I want us to start a sexual relationship. He says he hasn't been with any...
A. 4 April 2014: No, you're not being horrible. If he doesn't care enough about you to care about your health, then he isn't boyfriend material. Simple as that. You need to be firm on this, this isn't optional. If he wants sex with you, he gets tested. End of ... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much from men during times of crisis?
Q. Last year my brother committed suicide and my boyfriend of one year was so unsupportive and indifferent that we broke up. He wouldn't take any time off work and was just distant and uncommunicative. He said we all deal differently and I was too ...
A. 4 April 2014: I don't think you expect too much from your boyfriends, but you have to realize that not all people are going to be who you need. Plenty of people are wrong for you. In times of crisis is when it really shines through. If they aren't supportive to ... (read in full...)
New to relationships, need some help regarding sex.
Q. Hey all, I'm going to try to type this as organized as possible. I recently met my first girlfriend. She's 20, has a little bit of autism, and she is the sweetest, most caring girl I've ever met. I enjoy spending time with her, we're both weird...
A. 3 April 2014: I am quite positive you will not wait forever. If she was 15, I'd think you'd have to wait maybe 3-4 years. But she's 20, so she wont need that long. She's an adult, and can make decisions on her own. If she wanted to wait with sex until marriage ... (read in full...)
How to deal with people that look you up and down and stare?
Q. I am a self conscious person, quieter at times, and hate confrontation. Whats the best way to deal with people who look you up and down and/or stare when they meet or see you? Yes, yes we all stare a little.. but you know those peop...
A. 3 April 2014: I usually just take notice of it, and decide to not talk to that person because I don't like rude and toxic people in my life.
If it was done repeatedly by the same person I would stare them in the eyes in return and arch my eyebrow at them. Or... (read in full...)
New to relationships, need some help regarding sex.
Q. Hey all, I'm going to try to type this as organized as possible. I recently met my first girlfriend. She's 20, has a little bit of autism, and she is the sweetest, most caring girl I've ever met. I enjoy spending time with her, we're both weird...
A. 3 April 2014: Two months, for sexually active adults, is a long time to wait. Two months, for NOT sexually active adults, is a very short time. That goes into the same cathegory as teenage relationships, for this very reason. The sexual step is a big step in this ... (read in full...)
My question is do all lecturers give students a recommended book that they don't use or follow themselves and expect more from the student?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in my final year of college and completing my report from my big project. I sent in a draft of my intro the last day and got feedback from my supervisor yesterday telling me that it was crap. I knew it wasn't great but I didn't r...
A. 2 April 2014: This sounds very common, yes. Not all professors will agree with the curriculum, if they haven't personally set it up themselves. I've come across this many times, and I really think you should be grateful he is helping you out this much and ... (read in full...)
As I haven't heard from my boyfriend in over a month, does that mean I'm single?
Q. It's been about 4 or 5 weeks since I've spoken or even remotely heard from my boyfriend. About this time last month he asked me to pay his phone bill. I politely declined because I thought it was too early in the relationship to be asking to pay one ...
A. 2 April 2014: You are single. You dated for a week, that doesn't even count as a relationship. I call the bare minimum to be at least two weeks, official and exclusive that is. Anything else is a fling.
Oh, and most people would require about two months. ... (read in full...)
Can I be happy with a man who isn't funny?
Q. I’m 31 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year. We both feel that communication and respect are most important in a relationship and have many shared interests. My boyfriend is an amazing listener. He’s kind and caring, treats ...
A. 2 April 2014: Oh. I just thought of something. I once had an ex who didn't get jokes. But it wasn't because of a lack of humour, it was a lack in intelligence. Or... a different working brain, if I am to put it more nicely. But in my eyes, he was just plain dumb. ... (read in full...)
Can I be happy with a man who isn't funny?
Q. I’m 31 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year. We both feel that communication and respect are most important in a relationship and have many shared interests. My boyfriend is an amazing listener. He’s kind and caring, treats ...
A. 2 April 2014: Normally I'd say why settle? If he's great, BUT.... Then no, he's not what you're looking for. However, in this case I think you should really reconsider and look at the great things you have right in front of you. A boyfriend can not, and should ... (read in full...)
Can a man control his arousal?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have decided to get married before sex. This is his decision. I am divorced on my mid thirties and he is on his mid twenties and saids to be a virgin. Well turns out he's religious aswell. When we kiss and fondle heavily , ...
A. 1 April 2014: Oh yeah, agreed on the gay theory. He is a JW, they would kick him out if they knew he was gay, so his goal is to get married to a woman to function as his alibi. That explains why he wants to marry, why he is pushing for sexual things (to not lose ... (read in full...)
Should I leave this man?
Q. My husband and I met 6 years ago. He lived in a different State and so we began a long distance relationship. After three months he moved across the country to be with me. Soon after I got pregnant. We really only had been dating for 5 months (3 ...
A. 1 April 2014: I think you should leave him. It's just my opinion based on what you've written here. You are not happy, and things aren't getting better, they are becoming worse as time goes by. Men like him do wear you out emotionally and they drain your energy. ... (read in full...)
Is it time for me to leave these friends behind?
Q. My closest girlfriends and I are a group of four. A couple weeks ago, girlfriend "A" messaged us asking to hang out that upcoming Saturday. "B" said OK and I asked "when and where?" However Saturday came and gone with A and B both having both seen ...
A. 1 April 2014: I would not count on the "seen" thing on FB to mean anything. Yes, someone might have clicked on the message bar, yet that doesn't mean they read the message. I do that all the time, I have FB open or whatnot, and a message arrives, but I am too ... (read in full...)
Don't we all smell the same?
Q. Hey guys.I've got a very weird question to ask..first off,I've been friends with this UK lady for 4yrs.cyber_friendship.we've shared a lot.she recently had a baby born.and she used to tell me she doesn't bath sometimes,they I'd ask y and she'd say ...
A. 1 April 2014: People do smell differently. I think that if you and her were close and had an online relationship, she shouldn't be that super offended by such a small comment. I don't think she was angry at you, but maybe hormonal because of the baby etc. But ... (read in full...)
He broke things off since he was falling for me and now I might be pregnant! How do I handle this?
Q. Hey so I'm 19 and I recently lost my virginity to a 28 year old anyway we were sort of together with no labels for two and a half months. He decided to block and delete me out of his life as he was "falling" for me I know I was used worst thing is ...
A. 1 April 2014: .. You should take a test. What is there to wonder about? You wouldn't be having symptoms this early on, so if you ask me I don't think you're pregnant. I think you are stressing because you just got dumped in a cold and cruel manner, and you ... (read in full...)
Why do guys ask for my number but never call?
Q. Everytime i go out dancing with my friend (girl), I meet a really cool guy we have a good time, and at the end of the night they ask for my number. I give it to the ones I like, and they always end up not calling/ messaging. I'm sick and tired o...
A. 1 April 2014: Don't hand out numbers then.
I think it's because they are cowards. They were drunk and while drunk they had the courage to ask. But the day after, they sober up, and realize they have no courage after all. ... (read in full...)
He made one comment that upset me and now I'm not very attracted to him
Q. How is it possible that last month I was very attracted to this guy, I thought he was this incredibly good looking person and I was really excited to out with him, i was like a little a teenage girl always checking my phone and feeling really happy ...
A. 1 April 2014: Its how we work. Or, it's how most of us work, those of us who also find personalities attractive. For most of us, personality outweigh superficial looks any day. But look on the bright side, this also means that guys who you didn't think were that ... (read in full...)
Can a man control his arousal?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have decided to get married before sex. This is his decision. I am divorced on my mid thirties and he is on his mid twenties and saids to be a virgin. Well turns out he's religious aswell. When we kiss and fondle heavily , ...
A. 1 April 2014: It could be he really can control it, but he'd be the first man I ever hear of. The way most men control it is just to not get themselves in situations where they will get an erection, such as not letting girls sit on their laps, not being touched ... (read in full...)
The relationship is done but I can't bring myself to end it
Q. Thankyou for taking the time to read my question, hopefully you can help me. I've been with my boyfriend for around a year and a half and I feel like the relationship isn't working anymore. After much thought I've realised that the best thing f...
A. 31 March 2014: Remind yourself that you will find someone else. You will find many, actually. And the experience of this relationship is what will make the others better. ... (read in full...)
We've hooked up twice but have yet to make it past second base, and now I'm wondering if she's not that into me!
Q. So I'm in college as is the girl I've been very interested in for over a year. I've been working hard at getting on her good side, texting her almost every day "randomly" running into her between classes. If I had to guess it's been pretty obvious ...
A. 31 March 2014: Okay, maybe you missed out on it, but here are the ground rules: dont have sex until you are in an official and exclusive relationshop for at least two weeks (and some make that two months or mofe). This is the rule every sensible woman goes by, and ... (read in full...)
A true friend?
Q. Hi Any advice/support would be grateful. So since my friend got herself a boyfriend (they have been together over a year now) she just does not bother with me or any of her other friends. This is going to sound pathetic, but she used to...
A. 30 March 2014: Let go and leave it to her. When she gets over the honey moon phase she'll come back. You can keep in touch with her, but don't expect much from her now. She's just entered a relationship, and although it is extremely annoying, this is what most ... (read in full...)
Do you my find it appropriate for a woman to sit on your husband's lap?
Q. My husband and I were with friends last night. We were playing a party game and my husband drew a card which made him "Santa Claus." Two of our male friends sat on his lap as a joke and I also sat on my husband's lap. But then one of our friends ...
A. 30 March 2014: I would say.. that when you grow older these things matter very little. It was a game. You need to lighten up, not everything is to be taken dead serious.
I'm not that much older than you, but you strike me as too stuck up. Sorry. You need to ... (read in full...)
Condom wrapper and girl's scarf found in my boyfriend's car… I'm having trouble trusting him! Any advice?
Q. I'm having trouble trusting my boyfriend of a year and a half . I have been burned in the past (cheated on) and am a naturally suspicious person. Here's my dilemma. 1) I found a ripped open condom wrapper in my boyfriends car. Near the drivers...
A. 30 March 2014: When an ex starts texting about her/his "bad relationship" it only means this: I want some sex on the side, will you come over?
His ex is capable of finding self help sites on her own. Women are MORE than capable of finding such sites on their ow... (read in full...)
She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!
Q. Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...
A. 29 March 2014: You are a drama queen. Seriously. No wonder she lied when you barely know her, yet the first thing you do is start prying into her sex life. You dont want to come across as one of "those" guys? Then stop asking girls hou barely know such ... (read in full...)
My problem is, I know how to approach women, but how do I approach a guy?
Q. Okay, this might be a bit of a weird one, but here goes. Ever since I can remember, I have been attracted to women, I very rarely ever see a guy that I like even in the slightest but I've recently found myself drawn in by this one guy. I'v...
A. 28 March 2014: Approach him the same way you do girls. It might not work, but that's not because he's a guy, it's more like an individual thing. As you get better at flirting you will be better at reading what will work with whom. But for now, you just have to try ... (read in full...)
It's only been a week but I'm feeling a bit smothered
Q. I've recently started dating a guy. It's been a week since the first date and although I told him I want to take things slow and just date for a bit he keeps trying to get me to meet his friends and family and I think he thinks we are a couple. He ...
A. 28 March 2014: It's a red flag actually, when he rushes in like this. Easy come, easy go, as they say. When a man has "great passion" as you perhaps could call this... well, he will soon have this great passion about someone else. It's just who he is, he is a man ... (read in full...)
May have to drop out of college, is there any hope for me if I do?
Q. Hey! I'd like to share something with you all and just gain some opinions and maybe some stories from others who may of not been able to continue with there education. As most of you guys already know I have Bipolar, and ontop of that I a...
A. 28 March 2014: Yes. People do get by without having gone to college or finishing any higher education. Most people don't take higher education, if I may remind you. I know more people of my generation and yours take higher education than previous generations, and ... (read in full...)
Didn't know I was pregnant so missed out on the early pregnancy care
Q. ive just found out im pregnant. thing is, I could highly possibly be around 26 weeks gone. I say this as months ago I missed a couple of periods but then they came back, pretty normal so I didn't think anything of it. recently have been getting ...
A. 28 March 2014: You will still get a scan with pictures and things, you're only half way there as you said yourself... I don't understand what you are afraid you wont get?
Look, so you missed the early part of preparations and taking extra vitamins etc, but kids... (read in full...)
They're getting married in nine days and I KNOW he is cheating on her!
Q. One of my lifelong friends is getting married to the man of her dreams in 9 days. They have been together 4 years and have a daughter who is just 6 months old. This morning I've found out that he has been having an affair. I don't just suspect, I ...
A. 27 March 2014: If I was in your shoes, and it was a good friend of mine, I would go straight to her and tell her. You're not the one shattering her dreams, he is. ... (read in full...)
Should I have unprotected sex to please my guy?
Q. Please can you give me advice - my boyfriend and I have a great relationship, however he now wishes to make love without using condoms. I am not happy with this, as by his own admission he slept with a lot of women in the past . I just want our...
A. 27 March 2014: As long as you and him use another form of birth control, and you have both been tested and don't carry STI's, and you are in a monogamous relationship, I don't see a problem with it.... (read in full...)
Condom wrapper and girl's scarf found in my boyfriend's car… I'm having trouble trusting him! Any advice?
Q. I'm having trouble trusting my boyfriend of a year and a half . I have been burned in the past (cheated on) and am a naturally suspicious person. Here's my dilemma. 1) I found a ripped open condom wrapper in my boyfriends car. Near the drivers...
A. 27 March 2014: He wondered if someone had broken into his car and had sex? No one wonders such a daft idea, sheez. He's lying, lying, lying. If someone actually broke into the car they'd have taken the stereo.. or the car. Not just use it for sex, lol!
Sorry... (read in full...)
His idea of a compliment left me troubled
Q. Hi. I would be grateful for some opinions please. My partner of ten years has never paid me many compliments but the other day, he said he had been watching me sleep and had made a decision. He said he thought to himself, "Yeah, she`ll do". He said ...
A. 26 March 2014: It's not a compliment, except for perhaps inside of his head alone. If that's his idea of a compliment it might be just as well that he doesn't give them to you often. ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of giving the baby up for adoption but getting no support
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm having a kid soon, and I was wondering what the cons of adoption are. When I first discovered I was pregnant, I nearly had an abortion, but was convinced not to follow through by my mother and friends. Now that I mention adoption...
A. 26 March 2014: It seems to me the problem is not with you, but with everyone around you. But their opinion on how you should live your life is actually not anywhere near as important as YOUR OWN opinion.
It's your life you're talking about here. But there ar... (read in full...)
I am already pregnant. So how do my husband and I handle his parents who flipped about the pregnancy because my husband is disabled?
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with the things going on in my life at the moment. I Will tell u the back story. My husband and I were involved in an accident a few years ago and it left my husband significantly physically disabled and I'm now ...
A. 23 March 2014: Oh screw them. Just ignore them, stop talking to them if they insist on behaving this way. You are adults, and you are intelligent enough to make the right choices that fit you (as a couple). You can inform his parents that as adult, you do what you ... (read in full...)
If you don't have dating/sexual experience do you fake it till you make it?
Q. If I don't have any sexual experience, how do I go about in my everyday life meeting girls, faking it til I make it? I see plenty of guts out in bars doing it all the time. It's about time I get in on the action while my junk still works!...
A. 23 March 2014: Im not sure I understand your question. What would you be faking? I really hope you dont start talking about your sexual experience with girls, because nothing is as much of a turn off as that. So what would you be faking? Besides fake bragging in ... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 23 March 2014: OP, that's how insecure guys show a girl they like her... they avoid her. Because they worry they will have an erection if they get too close. Or, they worry she will notice his affection and laugh at him. So, they stay away. It's very typical. He ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family I'm pansexual?
Q. Hi. Ok, so um, im a pansexual. This is something that has been known to me since I learned what it was. I have always been pansexual. I have told two out of my three friends , they are completely accepting. But I actually find it extremely annoying ...
A. 21 March 2014: There is no point really in coming out to your parents, as you are still so young and you're not in a relationship with anyone now either. In addition, it's a difficult subject to talk about because your parents probably do not know what pansexual ... (read in full...)
Can long term relationships can work when a woman who is substantially richer than the man?
Q. Dear Cupid, I wondered if you thought long term relationships can work when a woman who is substantially richer than the man? I am a very wealthy woman but I have not been able to find single guys to date who have the same level of wealth as...
A. 21 March 2014: I think the problem isn't your money. It's the guys you've been dating. Maybe money scared them, or many there was something else wrong with the relationship. I have always had more money and a better economy than men I have dated. Not because I ... (read in full...)
He stopped talking about this female coworker, what does this mean?
Q. Ever since my husband had learned his younger female coworker was getting a divorce, it was non-stop talk about her for a good year and a half. I would hear she is attractive, why would someone divorce a beautiful woman like her. I would hear ...
A. 21 March 2014: He had a crush on her and got rejected and now has a bruised ego. She probably did get a boyfriend (and this could be his rejection).... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 21 March 2014: Oh, I thought you probably did not like A as more than a friend. Well, then do as Ciar said. Do not tell B you wouldnt mind a date. This is something you need to talk to A about, and not involve other people in. ... (read in full...)
I masturbate to photos of girls I know. What do I say if they find out?
Q. I am a 16 year old guy. I am constantly on social networking. I've many a time found myself looking at my friend's who are girls pictures. I have a tendency to masturbate to people I know and I never feel guilty about it. Is this wrong? Does this ...
A. 20 March 2014: You're normal, you're not doing anything wrong, and they wont find out as long as you make sure not to tell anyone you do this, and only do it when you are absolutely sure you are alone.
We all use our imagination and it's not at all uncommon... (read in full...)
Is my friend looking for a certain answer about our mutual friend?
Q. my friend has been making weird references about me and our mutual friend, and I'm a little confused by his behavior. yesterday he suddenly brought this up: him: You still like ____ huh me: ____? what about _____? him: You still like him? ...
A. 20 March 2014: This mutual friend of yours (lets call him A) has a crush on you, and the other friend (lets call him B) is trying to fish out of you whether A has a shot with you or not.
Be firm next time you answer these questions. Do you like A as a friend o... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
