A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm just a bit curious. I dont understand why some women get mad just because they caught their husbands/bfs watching porn? what's the deal? I used to watch porn with my bf, I dont see the big deal... It doesnt bother me... but why does it bother other women? that's my question.
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 My thoery is that some women are jealous of porn because it takes attention away from them for a period of time. These women see porn as some sort of evil distraction that will seduce their mate away.They couldn't be more wrong. Men know porn is an illusion that sates our thirst for fantasy sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2014): I was never bothered by porn until my ex husband started watching it to the point of not wanting to have sex with me. We ended up in therapy over it and my understanding is that he probably has some kind of addiction to it. We divorced for other reasons. 5 years later I find myself in a relationship with another man who I suspect has an issue with it to. (I know, what are the chances I'd meet another man who likes porn this much). I've tried to be understanding and not judge but it's difficult when he can no longer maintain an erection or is just "too tired" to have sex. I'll add that there is nothing wrong with my physically. In fact most men in my age range would say I'm prettier than average. Even though I am over 40 I'm fit, thin, dress nicely and take good care of myself. It's dumbfounding to me that both these men get more turned on by an image on the computer then a real life, caring, loving woman. But it's happened twice so maybe there is something wrong with me I'm unaware of.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2014): Typically based in some insecurity they have about themselves.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014): I don't mind anyone watching porn, as long as they don't agree with degrading people, don't let it interfere with their lives and know the difference between that and real life.
I can understand the insecurities side. I also think it's too available for minors - like an 8 year old boy on my bus was talking about it (I wanted to have a strong word with his parents, but they weren't there).
I think it's very rational to dislike porn from a moral standpoint, but I think it's something that can and should be compromised on in a loving relationship, if it has become a problem.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014): I watch porn movies with my gf. I really enjoy that. My gf too enjoy watching with me.
...............................
A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (20 June 2014):
 Here are the top 5 reasons I'm aware of that some women have a problem with porn:1.) Their partners spend more time watching porn than being intimate with them. 2.) Their partners are COMPLETELY ignoring them to go watch porn. 3.) They are insecure about perceived imperfections on themselves, so when their partners watch porn, they feel it must be because they aren't beautiful or sexy enough. They assume their partners use porn to view women with "better" bodies, faces, hair, etc. 4.) They feel it's degrading to women, especially if they were sexually abused in the past. They don't want their partners watching something that was once forced upon them. 5.) They feel men get a false idea of what sex should be like from porn (and some men do). There are probably other reasons I'm missing.
...............................
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (20 June 2014):
 You may not see the “big deal…” Just browse our Pornography 2641 postings; to see why some women get mad, if you are truly interested in learning about how this subject affects wives and impacts on their families!?
I don’t get mad; I simply don’t tolerate this particular industry who benefit by the denigration men and more so women!
However, what I do notice is that once a man’s viewing becomes excessive addictive (thank you Internet), his partner is the first to be deprived of their rightful intimacy. If you don’t play together, how does one expect to stay together?
Basically the offended partner feels devalued and is being rejected by not getting any… Others may see themselves as inadequate or compared to these actors on the fantasy screen. To some it’s a moral issue and don’t want it infecting and disintegrating there family values.
All I know is if I watched compared my partner to these men with extra large appendages, even he, as confident as he is, would start to feel inadequate; why don’t you moan like her in bed…? Well if you had a 10” penis my dear, I probably would! And thus ends your intimacy and deflates one cock that won’t crow for awhile.
Ditto Brown Wolf
CAA
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (19 June 2014):
Simple Answer…If your boyfriend likes watching porn and masturbating rather than having sex with you…How would you feel??
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 June 2014):
 I'm not bothered by my husband watching porn as long as it's not being used as a substitute for our own intimacy.
I think that if a person (man or woman) is excessive about it, to the point that a live relationship is hurting due to excessive porn use, that's an issue.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 June 2014):
 My husband watches porn, I'm OK with that. That is his business. I don't watch it, nor do I support the porn industry that in 85% of porn degrade women one way or another.
So my issue is NOT with my husband watching it. It's with what PORN stands for. And how most PORN portraits woman as.
Another issue is that YOUNGER people who SHOULD learn about passion, sex, lovemaking, intimacy by DOING it, NOT by watching. This is why there are still a GOOD number of YOUNG men who thinks women orgasms solely from penetration. That not using condoms is OK (because they don't always in porn), that calling your partner bitch and whore is a turn on for women.... I cold go on with this list. YES, some SEXUAL educational videos (and I'm not talking those some teens might see in school....) can HELP young adults in improving their own and their partners pleasure and sense of fun, most porn DO NOT.
I think those who have a problem with their partners watching porn, because THERE are MANY men who don't like their partner watch porn either, lies with a sense of NOT being good enough to turn the partner on, please him/her, looking sexy enough.. I believe some think THEY should be enough.
Considering that PORN wasn't as readily available 40 year ago, I'm pretty CERTAIN that people CAN live long and with happy SEX lives without porn.
The fact that you don't mind, that is good. Not all people think like you.
Some people don't think smoking pot is a big deal. Others do. Same with porn. It's not all about insecurities.
Most people DON'T GIVE a shit about what happens to the people (and not just women, YOUNG gay males are often used and abused like women). THEY just want to look at genitals going at it.
THAT is what I don't like......
Here is a website/articles that might enlighten you as well.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2011/jul/14/hardcore-abuse-of-women-in-porn
http://archiveofthebitingbeaver.wordpress.com/2008/08/04/porn-week-sex-industry-workers-the-first-in-a-tier-of-victims/
http://pornographyharms.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/porn-star-elizabeth-rollings-escapes-the-killer-porn-industry/
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 June 2014):
 Because some women are bothered by their own insecurities and their own looks. They believe all other women are a threat.
That's the majority of those who are against porn. They're the insecure ones. But, as far as I know, it's not that many women. I don't know any woman who is like this, I've only seen them online, and they may be exaggerating.
Then again, you have several women who are in between, who dislike some porn in some circumstances, but not all. Or those who have a moral objection to porn, which is actually quite reasonable, because the porn industry is closely connected with human trafficking and can also be linked to child pornography or rape videos, or also showing private videos which have been published online without consent (which is illegal in several countries). Such as these videos of ex girlfriends or ex boyfriends.
Anyway, like I said, most who are against porn are just insecure and thinking their boyfriends would rather have sex with other women. They see it as cheating, or as a confession that the man wants this other women..
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 June 2014):
 Go to the porn section of this site and you'll see all kinds of different reasons why some women don't like porn.
...............................
|
