A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of a year and a half and I decided to take an 8 week break this week. We have been arguing a lot because of my insecurity. He is INTP {introversion, intuition, thinking, perception - Moderator} personality and he doesn't feel that he can give me what I need in the relationship ie: emotions and feelings. We have so much of the same interests and hobbies, have fun together and great sex. He says he doesn't want to do this but sees no other choice. He wants me to be happy but I never seem content to him. I agree to a certain extent but I have been getting better. I'm so hurt and I don't know (because of his personality type) that he'll reconsider. He wants to meet in 5/6 weeks time and decide if we both really want to break up. Or him decide, I feel like I'm clutching at straws. I know in the past he has broken up with exes and then freaked out and missed them so much at about the two month mark then they got back together. That's why he doesn't want to break up, he wants to make sure he is making the right decision because he does love me. Because I'm thirty years old, he also does not want to waste my time. He said if I was younger it would be different. I'm so sad right now, I couldn't possibly consider getting back on the market. He just wants me to be happy. But I'm absolutely not. I told him that when we first met I thought 'this is the guy for me' and he said he thought the same. It's mostly insecurities and jealousy on my part that have caused the arguments. I've read up on INTP personalities and now I have a much better understanding of how he works but I fear it's just too late... And I've slowly been getting better. Please I'd love some words of wisdom...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2014): He wants to break up and he is trying to use a technique to soften the blow by saying you don't seem content, like when a guy says you don't want someone like me when you get rejected by them.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (13 June 2014):
 He sounds like he is testing someone else out and he can come back to you if that doesn't work out. I never trust a man who wants a break. He should be worried sick that you may find someone else whilst your not together. If you block all contact whilst on this break you'll find out how much he cares one way or the other. Personally tho I'd give him a permanent break.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (13 June 2014):
 INTP or XYZ personality won’t make it worthwhile in the long run if you don’t address the (unspecified) insecurities that you have, be you with him INTP or somebody else XYZ, in the future. Take care to sort out your jealousy, as it is a most destructive element in any relationship.
For me it sounds like he’s exhausted and does not clearly know how to handle your constant insecurities/jealousy? Perhaps you may have drained him from all the arguments of your insecurities? Hence, “…he doesn't feel that he can give you what you need in the relationship i.e. emotions and feelings.”
However, I do understand how this could cause the best of us to take a break and reevaluate our relationship status. Meanwhile I’ve slowly been getting better, and I encourage you to stay on track, but also be prepared for the market…
Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 June 2014):
 You don't have any options, get back on the market. This man is saying loud and clear that he doesn't want you, no matter what his WORDS are, look to his actions: he is pushing you away. He will continue to push you away. No, he will not make you happy. Are you feeling so old and desperate you will give up your happiness just so you wont be single? It's not worth it.
You will be heartbroken for a while, then you will feel good again, and you will meet someone else who has a better chance of making you happy :) Really. So many women are single in their thirties, and while it might not make you feel better, rest assured: you are not the only single lady in her thirties!!!
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