| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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LDR girlfriend says oral sex doesn't turn her on. Is she bored or seeing someone else?
Q. Hello, Am 27 years old, am in a 7 months relationship , distance deny us sometimes but we talk over the phone . Most times when we see each other, we do have sex and also perform oral sex together. Recently she told me she doesn't really get arou...
A. 7 June 2014: It means you're not doing it right. ... (read in full...)
My LDR girlfriend didn't like the gifts I sent for her birthday. Could I have done things in a better way?
Q. I've currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend. Long distance as in we're both in different countries and we've been in this relationship for at least 7 months now. We met online and just started chatting and exchanging some ...
A. 7 June 2014: You can ask her what she wants, next time. But I think she sounds like a selfish brat. Didnt feel like talking to you on her birthday, and youre fine with that? Either she finds you clingy and is avoiding you/wants to break up, or shes a crappy ... (read in full...)
How can I make my mother understand that my cousin is like a best friend to me?
Q. my cousin recently got out of prison. he was there 3 years for sexual abuse. he is like a best friend to me. he is 26, and im 14. everytime i even sit near him my mom practicley yells at me! she thinks he would do something to me but i believe he ...
A. 6 June 2014: You are young and naive. You think that just because this man who is 12 years older than you is nice to you NOW, it means he will always be your friend and never lay a hand on you. In reality, men who are 26 are not best friends with 14 year olds. ... (read in full...)
Neighbor asked my daughter to be bridesmaid then cancelled the big wedding and now I'm stuck with a dress and shoes!
Q. My Nextdoor neighbour was due to get married in August and asked my 7 year old daughter to be bridesmaid. My daughter was thrilled as she'd never been a bridesmaid before and it was probably her only chance (before shes an adult)as all our ...
A. 6 June 2014: Im thinking you made the choice to spend money on the dress, full well knowing that this was expensive (according to your economy) and that the dress could not be refunded, and that it could not be worn on any other occasion. YOU made that decision. ... (read in full...)
How do I incorporate light bondage into our sex life without freaking him out?
Q. my boyfriend and i enjoy loving, passionate, sex. the "kinkiest" thing we've ever done is role play. i get turned on by watching some pretty bondage videos. i like bondage, and have rape fantasies. i'm not ready to get too crazy (and honestly don't ...
A. 4 June 2014: Blindfold him. Or blindfold yourself. Most people enjoy this as it makes you experience sex in a very different way. If you're blindfolded he's in control.
The next step would be role play. Pretend your hands are tied (or lightly tie them wit... (read in full...)
Will I be forever stuck as just her friend?
Q. I waited too long and now it us clear that she now only wants to be my friend. I am okay with this for now but if the feelings were there once, could she ever see me as more than a friend again? Or am I stuck forever her friend?...
A. 3 June 2014: If the feelings were there once, they are still there. It's not about a timeline and there is no friendzone. It's about whether or not a girl likes a boy as more than a friend. If the answer is yes, then she thinks he boyfriend material. That rarely ... (read in full...)
This married guy knows I have a crush on him and he touched and kissed me and said, "lets be casual". What does he mean by that?
Q. here's this guy a married man 47 yrs old, he's my friend and most of his family members were my friend also. last year i realized i really like him (crush). but i kept it inside me. he's so nice to me and whenever we see each other he always f...
A. 3 June 2014: It means he wants to have sex with you without getting involved emotionally. So basically, he wants to take advantage of you sexually. ... (read in full...)
Surely he will feel disappointed that my nipples are not the way he prefers?
Q. I have a question that may seem so trivial but it's worrying me . The man I am involved with has a thing for and a preference for large nipples. He really prefers them and they turn him on a lot but the problem is I have reasonably sized breasts but ...
A. 2 June 2014: No, he wont be disappointed.
I am sure you are attracted to some nice biceps. Who isn't. Are you disappointed when he doesn't have the exact perfect sized arms? No. Because people are a package deal, you don't pick their body parts, you get the ... (read in full...)
I'm happy to be a girl, I just don't want breasts
Q. I have always hated my breasts and I wish I didn't have them. My mom says I will change but I don't think I will because I just look in the mirror and cry and just hate everything I see I want a flat chest so badly and I just don't know what to do ...
A. 2 June 2014: I think this is something you can't change without surgery. Or, if you are carrying a bit more weight than you should, you will lose the breast-fat by working out. So if you're overall a bit large, I would definitely focus on working out and getting ... (read in full...)
Is a tumor an STD?
Q. Hi, my girlfriend of four years found out from a doctor over three weeks ago that she has a tumor in her ear. We were devastated by the news but we're doing the best we can to cope with it. She's already scheduled for a surgery. While sitting ...
A. 2 June 2014: No. If it was, how would she have gotten it in her ear?
http://www.cdc.gov/STD/
Im wondering why this in particular is your concern. Out of all the things you could have worried about, your own health is what you worry about. And also, do you... (read in full...)
My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online and now her parents are offering to pay for his ticket so he can meet her! I'm scared that he'll never come back!
Q. Hi Looking for some advice! My 17 yr old son met an American girl while gaming online 4 yrs ago! They have been chatting on fb and Skype since and now he wants to go to America to meet her! Apparently her parents will pay for his ticket!! I have t...
A. 1 June 2014: Why would you never see him again? The tourist visa lasts for maximum three months, as far as I am aware. He HAS to go back, at some point or another. Besides, he's not considered adult yet, so you get to call the shots. If you're too nervous about ... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: So maybe she's a b****. Or maybe she just needed 6 months to think about your suggestion about getting out of the house and joining an activity. Or maybe she forgot you'd be there.
Can I ask what form of activity/group this is? Is it a small gr... (read in full...)
I know she has no interest in the activity, so why did she join my group?
Q. When my ex girlfriend and I were together, I could never get her to participate in any of the activities I enjoyed. Now that she's single again, she's deliberately joined one of the groups in which she knows I'm active with. An activity she has ...
A. 1 June 2014: Who knows. Some people are weird. I had the same thing happen. I was going abroad for a language course, and my boyfriend at the time was supposed to come with me. Then right before the deadline of when you had to register, he said he didn't want to ... (read in full...)
I'm done with dating and want no more to do with women!
Q. I don't even know when to begin...it's like every time I try I somehow get used. My troubles started four girls ago and yet somehow I haven't learned my lesson. Let me tell you about myself; I'm twenty-three, college graduate, and living at home. I ...
A. 31 May 2014: Let me tell you, we've all been there. All women have been at a point where they say they give up men and dating, and all men I presume have gone through a phase of saying they want nothing more to do with women.
The anger you feel is towards ... (read in full...)
Is cell phone snooping okay?
Q. Is it okay for someone you are dating to go into your cell phone behind your back and look at text messages you have received and sent to other people?...
A. 30 May 2014: No, that's not okay, and I would stop dating that person. ... (read in full...)
I'm having sex dreams about my average teacher!
Q. I'm 18 so its not like I'm new to the dating pool or even a virgin so most of what happened is strange. I had a dream I had sex with my English teacher, it was amazing but I've never thought about his like for a moment in the past three years that ...
A. 30 May 2014: Sex in dreams doesn't symbolize real life sex. Sex in dreams can mean several things, but the most common way to interpret them is this: sex with a person you know, in a dream, means that you are interested or drawn to some ability they have, or ... (read in full...)
Does it take time to fall in love?
Q. I have a question about love. People who are in love, did you fall in love right away or did it take time? When you met your love, did you ever have doubts in the beginning or were you confident he or she was the one? I recently met someone I ...
A. 28 May 2014: You can't ever know if you will love someone or not. You can choose to enter a relationship while still exploring how you feel, and risk it being a short term relationship that might only last a few months. Or, you can stay friends/go on dates and ... (read in full...)
Starting to like a guy I'm dating, but I think hes still looking for others?
Q. Ive known this guy for a couple of months now. We met on T--r (a new dating app), and i wasnt sure about it, but my friend recommended it to me, help me get out more and meet and date new people. Now I've met this guy, and we're suuposed to be ...
A. 28 May 2014: Look, you barely know this guy. If you're this quick to get involved with a man then you need to put on the breaks, because it wont end well. Even if he didn't use that app, it's still only been TWO dates! He's seen you a whole TWO times! You can't ... (read in full...)
My clock is ticking and I want a baby!
Q. I want a baby and I am dating a guy who is 7 years younger than me, i'm nearly 39 and he is just approaching 32 and we have been on and off for over a year but it was just sex that turned into something more but only the last 2 months we have been ...
A. 25 May 2014: Men like him will never be "ready". He's 32, a full on adult who at that age perfectly well knows what he wants and doesn't want. Not being "ready" is just an excuse because he, mentally, doesn't feel ready. It's not about money, it's about him not ... (read in full...)
Mutual close friend spend lots of money on my friend's birthday and very little on mine. Does it mean something about our friendship or am I just being ungrateful?
Q. I feel childish and horrible even posting this but there's something that's niggling at me. My oldest friend (A, whom I live with) and I have a very good friend in common (B). We met B at the same time, work with her and are (as far as I can tell) ...
A. 25 May 2014: This isn't about you being ungrateful. I completely understand the way you feel about this. It is the difference in how friend B treats you and A. Being treated differently, or more accurately "worse", really sucks! It hurts! It's like she picked A ... (read in full...)
What do I do when I don't feel him? I don't want to fake it, and I don't want to stop.
Q. I've recently started having sex with a guy I've been dating for a few months. We kiss well and make out well. The passion is definitely there. However, there are times, when he is inside me, I can't feel him. Yet, there are times I do feel him. Why ...
A. 24 May 2014: Its the position. You just need to change positions. Maybe you get too wet for that position... Its all about the right amount of friction you know. And trust me, if you dont feel him, he doesnt feel much either. ... (read in full...)
I've been diagnosed with bipolar but my husband doesn't believe in it
Q. I was diagnosed with Bipolar several months ago, and when I broke the news to my husband he was less than accepting. I told him that I didn't tell him sooner because I was worried he would think I'm crazy, but he said "You're right, I do think ...
A. 24 May 2014: You need to tell your friends and family about your condition too. Telling every one makes life easier for you, and them. If it is accepted by them, I believe your husband will accept it too. Humans tend to follow with the general opinion. So if ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for shaving my head even though my gf prefers it long?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a young guy with an extremely noticeable receding hairline. I'm cool with shaving my head, I think it's comfortable and looks alright on me..but my gf hates! She makes me grow my hair out and it looks ridiculous. Am I wrong for ...
A. 24 May 2014: I vote for shaving. Your head. You do as you want. I was inclined to say you should also keep the gf happy and be considerate, but that flew out the window when I read how bitchy she is. Sorry for the language, just speaking the truth.
Shave... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too truthful!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We both Graduated from college; where I met him. He's trying to start up his legal justice career and I'm on the same path for child and youth studies. We've lived together for about a year ...
A. 23 May 2014: You need to STOP seeing him. Sure you love him, but trust me! Love is NOT everything. You need so much more from a relationship than just love... Yes, it is sad to leave him when you still have feelings for him. But the truth is that he's mean and ... (read in full...)
Does it really happen that people can't keep their hands off each other?
Q. Can this really happen? You know in films where a couple can't keep their hands off each other and they basically attack each other. Does anyone have this? Is it real or is it just for the drama? Most the time form what I can remember the sex I've ...
A. 19 May 2014: It happens. I had it with two of my exes, actually, lucky me. So I know it's for real. But mostly I think it comes down to chemistry and horniness. I imagine you need to be a very sexual person just about to burst, and crazily in love, in order to ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my sister I am pregnant?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles i am a 35 year old lady with 3 beautiful children and have just found out i am expecting baby number four with my husband of a year and a half (his first baby) my dilema is that my little sister has also found out that she is ...
A. 13 May 2014: Just tell her, and then don't go jumping up and down screaming with joy unless she initiates it. You can announce your own pregnancy without taking away her shine, it's your fourth after all. Hardly big time news, you've already announced it three ... (read in full...)
He found a smudge on the wall .........
Q. I have been living with my partner for 10 years. We have 2 kids. My name is not on anything because I am trying to up my credit score (bad credit). He is an ocd neat freak. I am messy. The house isn't a nightmare, but it's not pristine either. He ...
A. 13 May 2014: Think about whether or not you want to spend another 10 years like this, living under the threat that a smudge on the wall could result in eviction from your own home, just because you're name isn't on it... But where would you go, you know? It is ... (read in full...)
How to deal with a friend who is alway trying to out smart people?
Q. How to deal with a friend who feels like they are too smart for their own good? So I have this friend who is always trying to out smart someone and it is starting to annoy me. Is father was a business man in South Africa and the father is always...
A. 13 May 2014: If he would throw his friends under the bus, then he's not really a friend.
I would try to reach out to him one final time and ask him what is most valuable.. always winning an argument and manipulating people in to getting what he wants, o... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is moving in - how do we work out finances?
Q. My boyfriend of five years will be moving in to my home soon. I am excited but also a little anxious. He would prefer i sell my home, or rent it out and get a place together. I have a mortgage which i manage on my own and can't afford to rent it out ...
A. 12 May 2014: I have a suggestion then, that your boyfriend might agree to (because its all about you and him agreeing, and not what we think). Whatever place he'd like to rent, you can take half of that rent as rent to you. Because that would be the amount he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is moving in - how do we work out finances?
Q. My boyfriend of five years will be moving in to my home soon. I am excited but also a little anxious. He would prefer i sell my home, or rent it out and get a place together. I have a mortgage which i manage on my own and can't afford to rent it out ...
A. 11 May 2014: And people, please, you all need to know that there is a big difference between renting out a room to a tenant, and deciding to share a bed with your boyfriend... Where there is a landlord and a tenant the roles are very different. In a relationship ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is moving in - how do we work out finances?
Q. My boyfriend of five years will be moving in to my home soon. I am excited but also a little anxious. He would prefer i sell my home, or rent it out and get a place together. I have a mortgage which i manage on my own and can't afford to rent it out ...
A. 11 May 2014: "Do not put his name on the mortgage. Not sure why Chigirl suggested this as you would be giving away half your equity."
Because if he pays rent, then he is paying down on the mortgage as she owns the house. That means he is entitled to his fair... (read in full...)
He threatens to break up because we haven't seen each other for a few days
Q. My boyfriend is mad because we haven't seen each other for a few days, what should I do ?. I last saw him on Wednesday. It was his fault that we didn't see each other on Thursday,and I was busy on Friday and Saturday. He sent me a text today, sa...
A. 11 May 2014: Uhm, you should just let him have the final say in this and leave him alone so he can fulfill his promise about never seeing you again.
Who needs that? Seriously? There are better men out there.. that is my promise. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is moving in - how do we work out finances?
Q. My boyfriend of five years will be moving in to my home soon. I am excited but also a little anxious. He would prefer i sell my home, or rent it out and get a place together. I have a mortgage which i manage on my own and can't afford to rent it out ...
A. 11 May 2014: Here's how you need to do it. And this isn't what I just make up, but what is common practice, and more so: it's what any lawyer would tell you to do.
You own the house, so he does not pay rent. You would pay everything whether he lives there or... (read in full...)
Do I need to have a serious conversation with him about his rough way of making love? And how should I raise the topic?
Q. I don't know what to do with this guy. I met someone 3 months ago. Really cute fun guy, But... The only thing I keep having problems with is how he has sex. He is a bit on a rough side. In addition he has large penis,which doesn't help the s...
A. 11 May 2014: Oh, what YouWish said about masturbation is true. If he's masturbating too much on his own, and grips his penis too hard with his hand, he will be desensitized. He can change this by stopping masturbation, that way he will become more sensitive and ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend? Please help!
Q. Hello. I would so appreciate if someone could give me advice on my problem as I really don't know what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, I am 22 he is 24, we have been going out since our teens. We didn't have the best relationshi...
A. 11 May 2014: You're probably not going to like what I have to say, but here goes. Life is hard, not easy. You kind of have an expectation that things should be easy, and just happen, rather than you having to struggle to get to where you want.
So you quit a j... (read in full...)
Am I breaking the "girl code" ?
Q. Okay let me start from the beggining. When I was in year 8 I became friends with this boy and we talked but it's wasn't on a best friend level. In year 9 we started getting closer and I introduced one of my close friends to him, and like 5 months ...
A. 11 May 2014: No, you're not breaking girl code. She's not really your friend if you're on and off from the friendship every other month. Then she's more like an acquaintance. Besides, she dated him for 5 months I don't know how long ago. It's difficult to follow ... (read in full...)
Can you lose weight in the vagina area?!
Q. I have a vagina question! So, in the last couple of years (since I've been with my current BF), I've noticed that my labia looks different. They seem a bit longer - for want of a better word... I have lost about 8 kilos or so in that time. Is it po...
A. 11 May 2014: Its probably the weight loss. You can gain weight on any part of your body, so to speak. It is common for oversized men to "lose" some of their penis lenght because of fat covering up the base. ... (read in full...)
Do I need to have a serious conversation with him about his rough way of making love? And how should I raise the topic?
Q. I don't know what to do with this guy. I met someone 3 months ago. Really cute fun guy, But... The only thing I keep having problems with is how he has sex. He is a bit on a rough side. In addition he has large penis,which doesn't help the s...
A. 10 May 2014: This man is selfish in bed, and you need to tell it to his face.
"No, sweetie, you're not getting better".
To be honest, I don't think it'll ever get better... Sorry to bring you down, but if a guy is selfish in bed he's selfish in bed, ... (read in full...)
Why would a girl date me when she isnt over her ex?
Q. I have met a girl online and we are going on a date tomorrow i know I shouldn't but I have been looking at her online activity and I saw her boyfriend had broken up with her 1 month ago. I was looking more into it and she put online just hours ago ...
A. 10 May 2014: First, I don't think it's wrong to use the net to find info about someone. Whatever they've published is out in the open, so if they are private persons who don't want anyone to know anything about them they wouldn't be publishing thing to begin ... (read in full...)
How important is the look of "it"?
Q. Help .... I'm about to enter into a physical relationship with a new man after a long marriage and I need to know . How important is the appearance of a woman's vagina to a man Most of the ones I've seen in porn look very similar and much tidier t...
A. 10 May 2014: How can you be so sure this man is obsessed with porn to the degree that he will compare all women he meets in real life to all the women he's seen on porn?
I think you're blowing things way out of proportion. Even if this guy watches porn, I ... (read in full...)
Should I raise this issue or just accept that my Boyfriend does more than his fair share, financially, for his divorced mother?
Q. Recently I have realised just how much my boyfriend does for his mother and their family but I don't want to point it out to him because I know it will do no good. My boyfriend is three years younger and he still lives at home. His rent covers ...
A. 10 May 2014: I sense a culture problem here. In many societies it is perfectly normal what your boyfriend does, and more so it is expected of him to do these things. If he didn't help out he'd be seen as selfish, egocentric and a bad person. So think twice ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
