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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 40 this year and would like to have another child, my husband would too. We already have 3 children, we are self employed and able to financially afford another child.My problem is that people close to me say I'm too old now and am being selfish, I would be 46 before the child started school, and that the age difference between my other children is too big my oldest is nearly 18, youngest 7.I am young at heart and don't feel anything like 40, what do you guys think, am I too old? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006): hi i have four children i had my son at 21 my daughter at 23 my other daughter at 27 and my fourth dayghter at 35 ime now 38 and ime craving a baby so badley my mum was 41 when she had my brother he is 18 now i was 20 yrs older age shouldent matter you and your husbnad go for it good luck to you both
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): Well I am 52 and I feel quite capable of having another child. I doubt I will as selfishly it would disrupt my exciting years ahead. I am still menstruating, I feel fit enought to anything a 25 year old can do, I have a young outlook and I am told I look about 40. I know what you mean about older parents as my mum is 85, on the other hand I have observed that once you get past 30, EVERYONE ages at a different rate so you get 45 years olds ordering their walking frames and 90 year old still holding down a job. I have to admit it is exceptional to want a baby at 52, but it is unlikely to happen, but if it did I would just get on with it. I also work with two women whose mothers died when they were only in their early 20's. Who knows what is round the corner for any of us!
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (24 April 2006):
 Hi there
Don't let the doom-mongers amongst us put you off the joy of adding to your family!
I am 35 and hoping to have a second child, age is a physical fact as I rish said, but it can also just be considered a number too! As long as you are young at heart - keep yourself healthy then there should be no problems. Yes there can be an increased risk of genetic defects, but these are routinely screened for anyhow during pregnancy. My first child was born with Spina Bifida and I was only 29. If it happens, it happens.
As for the age thing, my Mum was 18 when she had me and my Nan 39. I am a healthy 35 and my Nan 74. She is a slightly thing (smokes like a chimney too!) and I have to keep up with her. Anyway, you could be hit by a bus tomorrow so enjoy life and all it has to offer NOW!! If you dont do it, or dont fall pregnant c'est la vie!!
If you want another child you go for it, especially if you ahve the love and support of your husband by your side.
Good luck
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): There is absolutley nothing wrong with having a baby at 40 years of age. There are medical risks but I'm sure you have discussed this with your doctor. But just one thing, think ahead to what the future will be like. After 50 the aging curve of one's body does accelerate considerably. Your good health will be important, to run after an active teenager after 55? Age is an actual fact, not just a state of mind. You want to remain in good health until this child reaches adulthood. And should you get ill after 55, what are the emotional implications for this child. I am in no way implying you will die after 50..certainly not! You will likely live a good, long life. Just stressing to you how important, it is to take care of yourself..now so you can ensure you will be around to raise this child to adulthood. But on the whole, many women nowadays have children after 40 and have been very successful. Good luck in your decision, dear.
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (24 April 2006):
 yes you are too old technically to have a child basically the normal age for having choildren is when you are under 30 nd young . when you are under 30 yu will have a helathy normal pregancancy. If you are pregant at forty you will encounter the risk of a downs syndrome baby or a child with pecial needs cos the risks of having a down sysndrom child or a child with speicla needs increases with age. also their is also a higher risk of miscarriage and still birth and a very difficult pregancy and longer recopvery.Therefore think carefully think about this decision as their risks to your se;lf and to your babay during pregancay and birth . basically be greatful that you have a child already basically one is better than two. and one is better than nothing. Also their is nothing worng with being young at hearts and not feeling you age why not. but always remebr that we all have to get old some day we can't all be young and beaiful for ever. so just rememebr you are forty not 14.any way take care
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (24 April 2006):
 Hi, I personally think that you need to think long and hard about having another child. I am 23 years old, my mum is 60, my dad is 64. All my friends have parents in their forties and I envy the fact that my parents are older, I always think, they wont be around for long and it gets me down. You have to think of the child. When you are 50, the child will only be 10, ask yourself how would you feel if you were that child. Be thankful that God has blessed you with three kids already, but if you really want another child, you must know in your heart if it is right. Love and happiness and peace to you and your family. xXx
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