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writes: Okay, I have been having this terrible dilema with my boyfriend for some time now. I, personally, am against pornography, and he is not. A while ago, I asked him to get rid of the porn, he did, and I was happy. Just recently, though, I found a recent issue of a porn magazine in the cupboard next to his bed. I was so mad. I have given him pictures and videos of myself, and him with me, because I understand that men enjoy visual stimulization, but that just doesn't seem to be enough for him. I have a hard time being okay with him looking at other women to get off. I feel that I should be the only woman he looks at in that way. Am I being too irrational? Is pornography really alright? Is there anything else I can do to compromise with him? I'd really appreciate the advice. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2006): i am completely agains porn was well. i see it as cheating as they are getting pleasure from other women. i think if he really wants to be with you, and loves you he will stop. if not they your gonna have to let him know how much it hurts and let him kow what you are willing to do to make it stop. even if that mean freaten to leave him.xxx good luck
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (25 April 2006):
 I would like to see the evidence that proves pornography leads to unfaithfullness. That is like saying drinking grape juice will lead to being an alcoholic!!
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female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (25 April 2006):
 Suorpio is right. Men (and women) can and will look, think, or fantasize about other people from time to time and this is NOT a betrayal of YOU.
Hey! I have fantasized about making love to Johnny Depp aboard the Black Pearl! Does that mean I am cheating on my husband with Johnny Depp! (I should be so lucky!!!) Should my husband be upset about my fantasy? Of course not!
I think maybe you should cut your BF some slack.
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female
reader, Anja +, writes (25 April 2006):
 Fantasizing about being with another woman real or imaginary as in the videos is commiting adultry, I am totally against the idea of pornography. It is unhealthy, it leads to many things, one of which is unfaithfulness. It's as bad as actually doing it with someone else. This is not right, no wonder nearly half of marriages end in divorce and so many relationships break up. It's unbeliveable the amount of stuff which people accept in society as being ok and normal now!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006): It seems many people have this issue. It's ok for couples to demand faithfulness from each other, but demanding that they never so much as LOOK at or think about another person borders on mind-control. People in committed relationships are still entitled to fantasize about new partners, and it's completely harmless and NOT some kind of gateway to cheating. The expectation that you set of being the only woman he should ever think about is unrealistic and unattainable. Even if you make him cut out the hardcore porno rags, you still have to contend with every Victoria's Secrets catalogue, Calvin Klein ad, and even his mental bank of jerk fodder. If you guys have been together for very long at all, don't sweat this.
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