| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Hello, I have a genuine liking for one of my professors. She is a psychology professor and we have SO MUCH in common. We like the same colors, we wear the same colored clothing (alot of black and brown and dark green), we eat the same foods, we have the same personalities, same style of parents, we read the same books, we both talk alike (I mean REALLY ALIKE even how when we ask someone to repeat something), same color of hair, eyes, height, interests, music....same sense of humor, and I know she's attracted to me as am I to her. I think about her all the time and whenever I go to her office to discuss an assignment we end up talking for an hour about absolutely nothing and it's fun and interesting. She's 41 and I'm 23.But, she's married and has 2 kids.What the hell should I do??????? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (25 April 2006):
 This superficiality of what you claim is *being alike* leads me to think that this is just a crush and something you will get over. If you stay out of her orbit whenever you can, do not go to her office for *private chats* and treat her with the respect a tutor requires then you will be ok.
Chances are if you made a pass at her she would be flattered but turn you down. After all she is married and has a code of ethical and professional conduct to follow. Anyway, would you be able to look her in the face and live with the humilliation afterward? I should leave well alone, and have your fantasy IN YOUR HEAD only, were it is safe from the world and vulnerabilty.
xx
A
female
reader, FLorida +, writes (24 April 2006):
Ok... There are a number of issues to address in this situation. First of all, the professor thing. I cannot tell you it's wrong, as you are an adult, and it's not like a high school kid having a crush on a teacher. I am in a serious relationship with a man who was my prof in university when i was doing my undergrad. BUT nothing happened until i was no longer his student AND he was not married and did not have any kids. So the first thing you need to do is WAIT until you are no longer in her class, because then she will no longer be in a position of authority over you and it will not be an unethical teacher-student relationship (although those rules can vary by university -- look it up!). Next, you need to deal with the husband/kids issue. The only way to do that is to talk to her. You CANNOT start anything with her while she is married. If she and her husband are having problems independently of her feelings for you, it may be right for them to split up. And if they do, and if she's not your prof, go for it and be happy. BUT those are some big IFs...
...............................
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hi,
STAY AWAY.
Teachers, married or not are off limits. It's against the law. Now throw in a husband and two kiddies and you've got yourself a real no-no!!!
Find someone your own age and if you really can't stop going to her office for these chats then at least talk to her if there is a family problem or something like that.
Tux is right, you'd be tearing apart a family getting involved with your teacher. Plus if anyone found out she's loose her job. Then you'd never see her again, would you?
Find someone your own age!
All the best and Blessed be,
Phoebe
xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Sexybum +, writes (7 April 2006):
 Get out more and stop going to her office fro these chats! You cannot get into a relationship with her because she is MARRIED also she could loose her job if anything ever happened! You are obviously attracted to older women, so use this situation as a learning curve...
What have you learnt from this women that you can take away with you? Use it to help you move on. Honestly you need to satrt restricting the time you spend with her No more little comfy cosy one2one chats, because you will either carry on filling your head with a fantasy that is never going to happen, or destroy a happy family. One of the two and neither are pretty nice or healthy.
...............................
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (7 April 2006):
 Stay away. Not only would you be hurting her husband but also her kids. and you may find yourself bored with her in the end. It sounds great to have so much in common but that may be more of a thorn in the side of the relationship than anything else. You need some differences otherwise things would just end up getting boring with neither of you really trying anything new. By the way, I'm not saying being so much alike won't work, but sometimes the differences balance the relationship better than similarities. and in the end, you'd just be tearing apart a family.
...............................
|
