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female
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*imeemeg
writes: hi there.. I have recently come to the conclusion that I am attracted to my friends husband. I work with both of them and they are both lovely people. I have recently separated from my violent husband and we are proceeding to divorce. I am very aware that this is just a daft crush due to what is going on at the moment for me. It is also the first time I have looked at a man in that way since I met my husband. I usually avoid working closely with him for this reason, but today we had to work together and I found myself offering to make him some dinner to get him away from the office politics for a break ( I only live nearby), and was relieved when he politely refused. Because we are all good friends he is oblivious to my feelings and that is the way I want it to stay, as I could not split up another family and do not trust my judgement at the moment. I am terrified I will do or say something that makes it obvious what I feel inside, as I am aware this is a passing phase. It is not "burning lust", he is just a very nice man and easy to talk to. I just don't want to do anything to hurt them and lose their friendship. I don't know what to do and it's making me jumpy in their company. Please help :)
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a break, crush, divorce, friend's husband, I work with, split up, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (30 April 2006):
 You probably have a crush on this guy because he represents all that your ex wasn't. I admire you as you have so much awareness about your situation and ahve not come on here looking for advice on how to snaffle him form under you friends nose!
aLL i CAN SAY IS KEEP ACTING THE SAME WAY YOU ARE NOW. i DONT THINK ANYONE WILL PICK UP ON THIS COS TO BE FRANK i THINK YOU are hyper aware of the situation and won't let any of these feelings show inadvertantly anyhow. Good luck. You are right it will pass in time. And honestly I dont think any one else will notice.
xx
ps sorry I hit caps lock....dur!
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (30 April 2006):
 It seems you have all the right answers and have done a great job thinking this through. Wha should you do? I syggest you spend as little time as possible alone with the man. Also, think before you speak. Keep your actions in check and don't be a flirt. If not, they too will notice the change in you.
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