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female
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*inley
writes: Well i was going out with a guy until recently when he said that he needed space since his great nana has just died and we dont know each other that well. I've been careful to let him make all the flirting and communicating and ive had to learn to bite my tongue and be patient which isnt me, but im starting to loose my patience now and im trying really hard not to say anything but i dont know for how much longer i can wait for an answer, i need to know if im wasting my time without risking ruining my chances of reconciling with him. Please someone help?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (30 April 2006):
 You are already pretending to be something you are not so why not just let this one go and chalk it up to experience?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2006): You know what? If it's NOT you, then don't do it. I'm sure that guy is really wonderful and nice and considerate, but if you can't stand people like that, then fine, go, leave. I'm sure he can find someone else in the future. You can't force yourself to want to be with someone, if he is causing you stress.
It's exactly like my mom always say - that a lot of today's women (and men) jump from one to the next like fleas on a dog. At the first sign of grief and hardship, they leave. True love? Nah... Doesn't exist 'enough'. It's a fairy tale that many would try to believe in, but as you can see, it doesn't. That's why DC.org and millions of other sites like it exist.
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (29 April 2006):
 You have to learn to respect his feelings also learn to be caring patient patient and undertsiading to wards him also learn to listen to what he says and bethere for him when he needs you don't abandon him. He is undertsandably very, very upset over his loss basically he and his great nana were problably very close and he needs time to greive and get over the shock and to come to terms with it in his own way.I felt the same way when my dad died Ineeded space too to cope and to try and undertadn things.
Basically do not lose your patience with him as you are not being fair. help him, give the him the love, support and undertanding that he needs.
that way it will help
any way take care
byeeee
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female
reader, Floppy +, writes (29 April 2006):
 Hello, in my opinion i dont think you should be hard on this guy, he obviously was close to his nanna and it isn't fair to be unpatient with him when at this moment in time, he should have as long as it takes to get over his grief. If he dont do it now then he will only have it there for a long time to come which will be worse for you in the long run. But give him some time, ask him if he wants to go out and do something for fun with you... Give him a friendly hug to make things seem a bit better for him! He'll come round soon! Good luck! rate me
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (29 April 2006):
 This is a tricky one because grief can throw even long-established relationships into serious question. In losing something that has been with you throughout your life you a losing a person but also alot of certaintity about the world around you. It's impossible to tell from here how long the grieveing will continue for this guy.
If you feel comfortable doing it then the best thing you can do is be there for this guy and let him know that. You seem a little torn between what you want to do, seems like part of you wants to wait but part of you is unable to deal with that. You say you have been going out but for how long? If you let him open up it may increase his feeling of familarity with you and you may get your answer that way but the truth is you cant force anything because this is a really delicate situation. Hope that helps.
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