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male
,
*apoleon
writes: I am considering trying to start a relationship with someone I work with. We are both public officials in a small community who work together - but not in the same office. The only problem is that she is married with three kids and I'm not anxious to be a homewrecker. But I do have strong passionate feelings for her and I can feel that there is an incredible sexual energy between us when we are together. I have been getting signals from her that she may want me to make the first move, but admittedly I could be wrong. I love her personality - she's intelligent, warm and funny - but to be honest with you- my primary motivation is to make mad passionate love to her. She has extremely sexy legs(which are my #1 turn on). Sex would certainly be a strong motivation but I'm also interested in just being with her. Of course in such a small community it would be scandalous for both of us. Should I just throw caution to the wind and go for it or not? Any suggestions.
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (28 April 2006):
 Napolean, I am so very glad that you have seen sense. Good luck in the future, I am sure someone SINGLE will be available for you soon, patience is a virtuous quality!!! Lust can destroy, as long as you know the difference between lust and love, you will be ok. Take care. xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2006): if you went ahead with this you would be better off than her if it all goes wrong. she will lose her husband, children and the respect of her family. you will lose a work friend. think twice about it and follow you heart, not whats in your pants!!
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (27 April 2006):
 Fantasys are best kept inside the head!! Good luck napolean in keeping your libido in check.
:-)
xxx
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A
male
reader, Napoleon +, writes (27 April 2006):
Napoleon is verified as being by the original poster of the question Cold shower taken! Yeah I think I just needed some reinforcement to make the right decision. Leave well enough alone. She would have far more to lose than I do and that would be very selfish. But is it not human nature to be just a little bit selfish? We certainly see a lot of that here. My lust is telling me one thing and my moral compass is telling me something else and in the end I always follow the compass. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 My suggestions are: don't be a homewrecker and take cold showers.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): Think with your big head, not your little one. This is lust. Love takes time to develop. Are you willing to take her kids too? Have you considered the baggage you would inherit?
I think this woman will shut you down, so don't worry about being a homewrecker. Worry more about your moral compass!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (24 April 2006):
Napolean, this is an absolute NO GO AREA! Listen, we all develop feelings we shouldn’t. Let me give you a personal experience. There is this man at work, I don’t particularly find him attractive, he isnt even really my type, but for some reason I am drawn to him. I have dreamt him three times as well. The first time was nothing; he just appeared in my dream. Then I realised, I had strong feelings for him, the second dream he was there, he was laughing and joking and I was just there in the background. The third dream, well I was sat next to him, he was watching the TV and in my dream, it seemed to zoom in on his left hand. The next week, I prayed and said God, I need closure, I cannot go on like this, I want him to feel the same, or he does not. Then on the Wednesday he walked past me, I noticed something glowing on his left hand, it was a wedding ring! Now in the four months I have been in this job, he has NEVER had a ring on his finger so I assumed that he was single, at least in marital status. However, God pre warned me, that he was a no go area. I still have feelings for him, I see him every day and I am like, man, I just want you! However, it CANNOT BE! There are millions of women, SINGLE women without children in the world, leave this woman alone, please. Luv bonym xXx
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (24 April 2006):
You want to have sex with her.
PERIOD!!
If you want sex go find yourself someone free to play your games, don't destroy a marriage.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (23 April 2006):
 Come on, your not telling me that you don't know what the RIGHT thing to do is!
O.K. you fancy this woman, but you know she is married....SO LEAVE WELL ALONE !!!!!
The strong passionate feelings you have for her is lust, and I'm sorry the only thing on your mind is sex, you don't say you are married so I will assume you are not, therefore you have nothing to lose except your reputation.
She has a lot more to lose, like her husband and her marriage (not all men forgive thier wives affairs)
If you encourourage this affair you are being incredibly selfish, you say you live in a close knit community, it is likely word of your affair would get out in no time, someone will see you together at some time, and let the cat out of the bag.
Find a single girl!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (23 April 2006):
Come on, your not telling me that you don't know what the RIGHT thing to do is!
O.K. you fancy this woman, but you know she is married....SO LEAVE WELL ALONE !!!!!
The strong passionate feelings you have for her is lust, and I'm sorry the only thing on your mind is sex, you don't say you are married so I will assume you are not, therefore you have nothing to lose except your reputation.
She has a lot more to lose, like her husband and her marriage (not all men forgive thier wives affairs)
If you encourourage this affair you are being incredibly selfish, you say you live in a close knit community, it is likely word of your affair would get out in no time, someone will see you together at some time, and let the cat out of the bag.
Find a single girl!
Good luck!
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