Is there any way out of this clash of values and attitudes? She wants to stop having sex until the wedding day (no date set for wedding yet)
Q. Hello, This is a bit long-winded but I hope you enjoy the ride. It's certainly been interesting for me. The backstory: I'm a 33 y/o professional traveling musician from the states. Three years ago I met a lovely 33 y/o girl in Germany ...
A. 4 April 2013: Yes... SHE is (or, had) escalated the "Christian - vs - atheist" thing..... and YOU were not consulted......
NOW, consider what you will - or might- have, going forward...
Myself? I wouldn't even DREAM of taking a chance with a "Bible thumper... (read in full...)
Married 6 years and I still don't know if my husband loves me
Q. Hi I m now married fr six yrs but still dont know whether my hubby loves me or no? I love him though but he hs never exressed his love verbally Any signs to understand tht he loves me?? Well he does takes care of me but he never hs celebrated m...
A. 4 April 2013: This is a tough call... After 6 years, it would seem that you would have had some real evidence of love or not-love...
HOWEVER, as SVC has said.... sometimes, these things are more arcane that blatant.....
MYSELF???? After I spent 5 years aw... (read in full...)
Do guys normally hold out a few days before making contact?
Q. Hey guys, last Saturday a guy who I got friendly with at a club overseas took my email address and I haven't heard from him yet. Does that mean his not interested? Or do guys normally hold out for a few days?...
A. 4 April 2013: Here's a little info about "guys".....
He MAY still have your email addy.... and just doesn't feel like contacting you....
He MAY have gotten a "better offer" .... say, from some little tart who made it clear that she was going to put out for h... (read in full...)
Friend tried to get me to sleep with him, even though I have a boyfriend. Advice?
Q. Okay. Recently I have got back with my ex-boyfriend, things have been okay between us, and I guess for once things are looking up. However there is a slight problem. Me and my boyfr...
A. 4 April 2013: This so-called "friend" has revealed that he really is a DOG!!!!!
Be loyal to your B/F and tell this "friend" to take a hike.... that you special, lady-parts are "off limits" to him......
You MAY keep quiet about this with your B/F... but IF, t... (read in full...)
Why do I have lusting ways toward a guy who is soon to be engaged?
Q. Dear Cupid,I ran in to my elementary love/crush on this one web site and the groove was the same we greeted one another with small talk and everything then he told me he is engaged my heart broke into a million pieces.I think he is the one I should ...
A. 4 April 2013: Quite honestly, you can't "...put my flirting ways to rest when talking to him..."
The best - and smartest - thing you can do is send him a note saying how delightful it was to remake the contact from those so-many years ago.... AND, that you enjo... (read in full...)
We spend every night together and act as married but I am living out of a bag!
Q. For the most part I am living with my boyfriend. We spend every night together at his house. He calls it ours, we share everything like a married couple. Yet, my belongings are not moved in. I live from a bag and when I brought it up we had an ...
A. 4 April 2013: WHOA!!!! SVC.... you make things PERFECTLY CLEAR!!! There is no response (not even one of my patented glib ones) LEFT!!!!!
OP: "Listen" to SVC.....
good luck...... (read in full...)
When it comes to exchanging phone numbers with girls I get nervous. Help?
Q. Hi I currently live in London Been here for 5 Years now.I am originally from Pakistan.i am good looking, well dressed and good speaker but I still couldn't find any English girlfriend. Had few of other nationalities tho!.ok English girls start ...
A. 4 April 2013: I'm with you. ON those rare occasions when I've spoken to a woman who was from England, I couldn't plow the the "bloody" and "pip-pip" that they sprinkle in their speech... such that I could understand her. At least YOU have an excuse (you're ... (read in full...)
I said I'd have a threesome but now I'm having second thoughts about it!
Q. My Fiance and I have decided to have a ffm Threesome, we decided to use an Escort for it. My fiance had Threesomes before with his Ex GF, it is my first one. Also I'm not BI not into other females at all. But know he likes to see the Bi of the ...
A. 4 April 2013: As a guy who has struggled to get girls to have a "two-some" with me... I can tell you that I have no idea how I would handle it if TWO girls were naked with me at the same time....
Considering my advanced years.... I believe that it's quite po... (read in full...)
Do I tell my jealous boyfriend that I've been texting a friend to play games? B/f has forbidden me to do so!
Q. Hello all. I have a question, it's kind of bothering me, so I'd like some advice... I'm 21 years old. I have 2 friends, who I don't hang out with (they're busy with kids and such) so I'm normally hanging out with my boyfriend. We've been together 5 ...
A. 4 April 2013: The "key" to your question is in this excerpt from your submittal:
"......my boyfriend doesn't allow me to text other guys... so what should I do? Should I tell him? I've never cheated on him, and have no intentions in doing so. It just bothers ... (read in full...)
Why do we have sex only when my boyfriend wants to?
Q. Hiya, so i posted a question on here yesterday and the people didnt really understand what I ws trying to day so and gonna try again I have been with my Boyfriend for 3 years. It's our sex life that I think is the problem. We have sex, oral e...
A. 4 April 2013: This doesn't add (or, change) anything from your earlier submittal....such that my advice would be any different...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend is asking me to send him pictures of my private bits. Why does he need them?
Q. Hello. I am a female in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend lives in another country. We still haven't med in person..but have communicated by email, telephone, text message and video and video messaging that he's sent me. This has been going ...
A. 4 April 2013: You write: "He's promised not to show them to anyone.. but why does need them so much?"
Answer: He doesn't need them for anything that is on the up-and-up. Oh... and, by the way, he probably wouldn't keep that "promise" to not show them to ... (read in full...)
I don’t want to rule him out but then also don’t want to be walked all over
Q. I met a guy on a dating site and he seemed really genuine and sweet. After a week of talking, despite not being 100% on his picture, I agreed to meet with him for a drink because I thought we had a lot in common. We met and had a really lovely ...
A. 3 April 2013: I think one more chance is one (more) too many..... What's it take to borrow a friend's phone... or go to a payphone (yes, there ARE a few around!!!) and call you.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I know it's not my business but I am worried for my friend. What should I do? He's back with his cheating ex.
Q. Hey all, I have a really good friend, let's call him “X” (male), who I have known for years. When he recently got a new girlfriend, I was so happy for him, until I found out what this girl was like. She didn't like me from the beginning and to...
A. 3 April 2013: You write: "I know it's not my business but “X” (male) has been a great friend for years and I hate to see him with this type of girl."
Stick with the "I know it's not my business...." part, and let HIM handle the rest of it....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My husband abuses me. I love this man. what advice can you give me please?
Q. Have a problem with my husband... We have 2 children boy and the girl. When he’s drunk he will call me nasty names and sometimes beat me. I even slept at hospital twice. He says bad things to our daughter and tell my daughter you are not...
A. 3 April 2013: You write: "I love this man..." at the end of a submittal in which you describe a man who has no love for you...... WHY do you delude yourself in to believing that you love this man????? Is it not correct that what you really feel toward him is ... (read in full...)
Is my ex just playing me? He wants to tell me all about HIS problems with his future wife, and insists on personally delivering the alimony. How should I handle this?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles, ive talked to you all in the past a few times, and im having a problem. my ex still insists on bringing me my alimony, not mail me a check, or money order. he claims its easier and cheaper. i dont complain about it becau...
A. 3 April 2013: You are correct that he IS "playing" you....
You actually have alternatives. IF you are satisfied that you want to endure his foolishness indefinitely... then leave things as they are. IF you've had enough of him and the crap he plays on you..... (read in full...)
I feel like I can't have any successful relationships because of the guys female friends?
Q. Dear cupid. I need some advice and opinions on something that may sound stupid, but it's honestly how I am feeling. I feel like I can't have any successful relationships because of the guys' female friends. Basically, almost every relationship I h...
A. 3 April 2013: I'm curious to learn how it is that ALL the guys who you've dated have "just happened" to have a circle of girls and/or ex-G/Fs hanging around them, such that you (and he - whoever he is) have such circumstances....
Maybe it's time to look at ... (read in full...)
We broke up 6 months ago but I haven't moved on from my ex. Anyone know why?
Q. My ex and I were only together for two months. As stupid as it sounds, it was kind of like The Notebook romance. Short, but very very sweet...maybe so sweet in fact that I will forever have a cavity from it. I felt with him things I have not felt ...
A. 3 April 2013: TWo months does not constitute a "romance"....it's, maybe, an "infatuation"...... AND,
"The Notebook" (one of my fave movies) is about a romance/love/family that endured for MANY, MANY years (decades!)........
Now... how to get over this gu... (read in full...)
He's taking things slow, tooo slow!
Q. Hi, am 21 years old and I met a 40 year old man 2months ago, he told me that he was interested in me so we exchanged numbers. Since then we met only twice but he communicates with me everyday. We never have serious conversations, he always asks how ...
A. 3 April 2013: I'd guess that his WIFE doesn't allow him to be alone with his phone for any length of time... so that compromises his opportunity to be interested in you....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why does sex always have to be on his terms?
Q. I have been with my Boyfriend for 3 years. I love him to bit and we have a good life together.We have our ups and down like everyone but all in all we're fine. It's our sex life that I think is the problem. We have sex, oral ect but it seems to ...
A. 3 April 2013: I think the most important phrase in your submittal is this one: "...I hint but if nothing happens then I'm okay-ish...."
YOU have an "okay-ish" sex life... and HIS is a bountiful banquet...... of whatever, whenever and wherever he wants.
... (read in full...)
Because of my loose vagina my boyfriend thinks I have cheated on him! What can I do?
Q. My boyfriend has been complaining that my vagina is now lose and accuses me of cheating and I have never cheated on him. I'm so confused and hurt cause this has affected our relationship so badly what do I do pls. Secondly we've been having issues o...
A. 3 April 2013: I believe that you've asked about one detail (loose vagina and cheating) which is really just one part of a much larger picture.....
The remainder of your submittal "paints the picture" of a relationship which has run its course... The behaviou... (read in full...)
Our sex life ended 18 months ago and there are no signs of improvement, should I leave him?
Q. hi, ive been seeing my bf for nearly 3 years. firstly, we are both very healthy and have no problems sexually with being able to perform or participate in sex so we don't need to see doctors. sorry but I needed to say that so that nobody sugg...
A. 3 April 2013: I'll bet that you are going to get a number of responses from Aunts and Uncles based upon their experiences ... their's being similar to your's.... This one is...
Sexual/intimacy compatibility is critical to an on-going relationship..... When it... (read in full...)
I have always been conscious of how my vagina looks, and now my boyfriend has insulted the way it looks! How do I overcome this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together nearly a year now, we've had sex, taken part in oral sex on both parts. But the other day we had just had penetrative sex, so I was just led on the bed naked my legs slightly apart on my front, dozing slightly. ...
A. 3 April 2013: When I read your submittal, I couldn't help but be amused by this:
HE SAID that the appearance of your labia was like a brain.... NOW, contrast that with the FACT that we guys actually HAVE A BRAIN in our genitals!!! It's that "lower" one that... (read in full...)
Is he hiding behind his mother to avoid committing?
Q. So here goes... My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years. We are both 25. I have my own house. My boyfriend still lives at home with his mother. All his siblings have moved out into their own homes. His father died about 3 years ag...
A. 3 April 2013: Have you thought about proposting to this guy that you and he get married????... (read in full...)
He says he's had way hotter girlfriends than me???
Q. My boyfriend told me that he's had way hotter girlfriends than me, but he still tells me he thinks I'm beautiful/gorgeous on the inside and also on the outside and he loves me more then anything and that I don't even compare to his previous ex gfs.. ...
A. 2 April 2013: If I had a nickel for every girl who I've dated.... .and who told me that she had dated (other) guys who were "...'way much hotter than me....".... I'd be one very well-to-do man!!!!!!
Good luck...
P.S. I STILL "get my share...."... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this unsatisfying relationship? I want him to leave.
Q. Stuck in a Rutt and can't get out! My live in man is 45. We split briefly last year and I now totally regret us getting back together. He set up home on his own after our strained relationship failed due to his abusive behaviour. After almost a yea...
A. 2 April 2013: OK.. so you've "been through it" (the abuse and incompatibility) with this guy TWICE.....
NOW, learn from that.... keep it in the forefront of your mind.... AND, tell him, "Sorry, Hunchy-bunchy, but you're now screwed with me a SECOND time... ... (read in full...)
How can someone walk over you and leave like you don't exist?
Q. Why does someone think that it is ok to just walk into someones life, make him love you, and then just leave and not want anything to do with you for no reason?...
A. 1 April 2013: Guys do this all the time. We can't get away with it, UNLESS a woman (you?) consent to it.....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
My married friend's husband keeps calling me! What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone! I first wrote for help here 3 years ago with the same problem and it is still going on. My friends husband used to ring me over and over again late at night begging me to talk to him or ring him back. Sometimes he would text. This...
A. 1 April 2013: I suggest that you have lunch with your "friend" and say to her: "you know, (friend's name here), your hubby has been calling and texting me for at least 3 years, trying to get me to put out for him.... and I don't really think that that is ... (read in full...)
I agree to trying for a baby, then I panic and I just don't think I can handle it! Is this normal?
Q. Hi everyone, I hope this question is going to make sense, my heads a mess and I'm struggling to make sense of it all to put to you. But basically what it is, is that me and my partner discussed having a baby about 3-4 months ago, now we are in a ver...
A. 1 April 2013: I suggest that you and "current squeeze" decide if you and he want to be MARRIED.... and, if "yes," do THAT first... THEN consider if you (and he) want to spawn any children...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is it hopeless or could he ever truly love me?
Q. I am absolutely heartbroken because I've found the person who I know is meant for me, and I know in my heart that I love him more than I'll ever love anyone. He's divorced (I know this for a fact) and has a little boy with his ex wife. I underst...
A. 1 April 2013: WHY bother spending time loving someone who doesn't - or won't - love you back???????
Dump this guy and get on with your life....
Good luck...
... (read in full...)
Should I just ask him to leave my house and be civil for our son or should I try work on things?
Q. I'm mortified my partner has gone away for a weekend with a mate we have chatted every day like normal and made plans to go on a mini break together Except tonight he sent me a message asking me if we are meant to be together I asked him why he...
A. 1 April 2013: How dumb is this, that's going on between you and him????
You (and he) have spawned a child.... but he gets to act like a 5-year old child in the school yard???? .... and YOU give him "passes" for his infantile behaviour?????
Put his "feet... (read in full...)
What is vanilla sex?
Q. Hi What does people consider "vanilla sex"? How does mostly practise it and do you find it unattractive or not excited?...
A. 31 March 2013: Frankly, I think that vanilla extract gets a bad rap when folks use the term "plain vanilla" in this manner.
Please Google "vanilla" and learn what an EXQUISITE product it is.... and how it is pervasive in so many products that we (all) li... (read in full...)
I think I set my standards too high for girls
Q. Hi Guys, I feel like I have a very odd problem. Now, I've never been great with girls, the only time I've ever slept with people is when it pretty much falls right into my lap, like I've never done a huge graft for it, so I feel like I lack co...
A. 31 March 2013: What an interesting submittal. You write: "...I always feel like even if I did, they wouldn't be able to get to my high standards....".... then you tell us that, if some tart throws herself at you, you're at-the-ready to get it on with her....
... (read in full...)
I know there's plenty of fish in the sea but I want this cold fish!
Q. So there's a (busy) guy, we met at university; we're in student council and other organizations. I know him for 5 months, and after 3 months, I got feelings for him. I told him I liked him (which he already knew as we flirt). He told me he had...
A. 31 March 2013: Sometimes, a cold fish can seem preferable to a frozen lobster.... Your choice....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why would he buy a packet of condoms (when sober!) and suggest sex after telling me he wanted me to respect him more?
Q. So yesterday I was kissing my boyfriend with tounges in a public place and kissing on his neck and he was like "please don't put your tounge in" so I apologized and he cornered me and told me how I was going too fast and he wanted me to slow down ...
A. 31 March 2013: Consider this young man's youthful age.....
Even after DECADES of trying to entice you girls in to bed... .MOST of us guys don't know how to handle such matters......
Soooo, he gets a "pass" for being awkward.... but an "Attaboy" for ha... (read in full...)
What are the chances he'll come back home?
Q. Need advice please..sorry it's a bit long but l prefer to explain fully..... my husband and l have been married 14 years this year, back in 2007 he had an emotional affair with a woman who was supposed to be my best friend..(all 3 of us worked t...
A. 31 March 2013: There are two very important things in your submittal....
The first is this: "he has asked me 3 times for a divorce but has not acted on it yet,and l have told him l do not want to divorce him,as l beleive that things can workout for us...", ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend enjoys sleeping with other women and swinging and I'm tired of some creep touching me because my B/f wants to sleep with his wife
Q. My boyfriend enjoys sleeping with other women and swinging. Rather it be me and another girl with him or a full couple swap. At first I was alright with it, didn't put up much of a fight and probably even enjoyed it. But now it's like he's obsessed ...
A. 31 March 2013: You write: "Is there anything I can do to stop this?"
Yes..... tell him that his fantasy-time is over.... and YOU are moving to another address and leaving HIM to his own devices....
This was an "easy" question....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do! If I do break up, with the girl I love, how do I do it?
Q. ok so my fiance and I have been dating nearly a year and we've been friends almost like 2 years. We've had ups and downs but for the most part it's been great She's my better half and I love her. Hell she's my fiancé! Anyways she shows me and tel...
A. 30 March 2013: I'm a big fan of waiting for turbulent times like this (what you describe) to play out before proceeding any.
If you cannot reconcile and be comfortable with the way(s) that this girl is acting toward you, then, ultimately, you and she may part... (read in full...)
Desperate to get help for my son who hates me
Q. HI Cupid friends and aunts/uncles I don't know what else to do I am so afraid for my son because of his behaviour towards me and his life in general. I have seeked help with councilors, social services, the police just about everyone, and it...
A. 30 March 2013: Sometimes, a parent (even a Mother!) has to throw up her hands, in dispair, and say, "I've done all I can.... I did my best I could for you... and I CAN'T do anything more. Therefore, please leave me....leave my home.... leave my sight and leave my ... (read in full...)
What could my fwb want to 'discuss'?
Q. Friends with 'some' benefits situation: here goes: Nov 2012: approached him, started to hang out with him, told him I liked him, he told me he liked me too. Started to send flirty text messages daily. Saw him 2wice a week. Very sexually attract...
A. 30 March 2013: It's amazing how persistent we guys can be when we think we've hooked a girl who we think will - ultimately - put out for us..... AND, by not telling us (him) to screw off, you are feeding his belief that he is going to get you in to bed, sooner or ... (read in full...)
My wife wants to be alone with another man before I join them for a threesome
Q. I have been married for 4 years, we have 2 kids together. A couple of months ago she wanted to try a threesome (mmf) with one of our friends (a 23 year old guy). it was not that bad, but its like it has been going on every month. Today she aske...
A. 30 March 2013: You write: "Why would she want to go alone with him if we have so much fun together? we are very open with each other but inside of me it bothers me a bit. I asked what would she do alone with him and she said not to think about it..... What does ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my girlfriend about losing weight?
Q. In the 3 years we have been together my GF has been slowly letting herself go physically to the point where I no longer find her attractive. When we met in college, she was more physically active on a daily basis but now she has an office job wh...
A. 30 March 2013: In my opinion, a guy can't "do" a darn thing to change the attitude and activities of a woman who is balooning in size, (and) who is griping about herself, and acknowledging that she is becoming less appealing because of that....
Soooo, reconcil... (read in full...)
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