My unemployed boyfriend has HIV, but I still love him
Q. Hi 3 years ago my boyfriend told me he had HIV. I respected him and we went to the clinic and used condoms. His HIV was well under control. We've had some wonderful sex, however he kept it secret, and fell out with me for no apparent reason ...
A. 12 April 2013: Mary: Look at your last paragraph: "I don't think we can get together ever as he lives a long way away. I do love him - he says he loves me but forgets to call when he says ..... I'm making excuses for him. I don't know what to think when he talks ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend blew me off to hang out at a strip club
Q. Well.. Simply put. I'm leaving to go back home tomorrow and I'll be gone for a few weeks. Our friends are in town though and I wanted him to get some time with them so I said he could go out, and he promised to be home by 10 at the latest so we ...
A. 12 April 2013: No.... you're UNDER-reacting!!!!
For this creep who shows so little concern for you, the PROPER "reaction" would be for you to call, text or email to him and say: "Gee, Hunchy-bunchy, I know you like those nudie girls at the strip club MORE tha... (read in full...)
I know my self esteem is low. But his list of "RULES" is so long. What should I do about his verbal abuse?
Q. Dear Cupid I know the post is long, please read it through and help me. I have been with this person for 3 years, I cook, clean after him, work and pay 3/4 of expenses at home, get him nice gifts for his birthdays and Christmas, never ask...
A. 11 April 2013: WOW!!!! How much more abusive could a guy BE to a woman before she catches on and sends him on his way??????
YOU are being played for the fool.... Is that what you expected when you took up with this creature?????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I feel exhausted trying to care for and look out for my family when so many of them seem to have mental health issues. What can I do? Can such things be genetic?
Q. I wonder if someone has similar experiences. So I have a very tragic family life, with many level, of undiagnosed,unexplained mental issues. I mean, different family members have different very serious issues, ,but there are no specific diagnosi...
A. 11 April 2013: For years, me and my siblings thought that our family was really screwed up..... But... as time has passed.... and we continue to live our lives.... we've come to realize taht we're really not as screwed up as we thought we were. In fact.... we ... (read in full...)
Anxiety attacks. How can I get my Dad to understand that anxiety is a real condition?
Q. I suffer from high anxiety, and have for a while now. It is mostly related to the stress of college and academics. I also occasionally get panic attacks. I have suffered in my grades because of this, but I am doing my best. It's a process, and I'm...
A. 11 April 2013: I'm "with" your Father...... Buck up and face life..... It isn't going to adjust for your sensitivities...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Why would my friend say that we are better as friends, and later start coming on stronger?
Q. Why would a fella say to you that we are better as mates and then start coming on stronger when i told him that's ok we have been friends for years and few months back said we had feelings for each other and he was going to dump gf for me and then ...
A. 11 April 2013: Let me extend to you one of the secrets of "guyhood."
IF we can convince a girl that we are great/close/solid "friends" ..... and THEN can convince her (you!) hat we are so close that it's impossible to avoid being intimate...... THEN, we have man... (read in full...)
He calls me whore bitch slut. Blames me for his poor grades at college. Says he'll marry me if I change college to his. What should I do?
Q. hey My Bf is 18 and we are in serious about our relationship....... We have ups and downs. We love each other..... Still virgins Now the problem is 1) He asked me to join in his college. Then I joined in another college of my parents’ choice...
A. 11 April 2013: Are you crazy???? I can't think of even ONE reason how you could justify spending even three minutes with this creature....
You write: "Still he is charming and caring...." but that, at the end of a submittal that describes a despicable characte... (read in full...)
Wife is building a relationship with the builder while I sit home and give her space!
Q. I am 58 and my wife is 49 and wehave been happily together for 18 years and although the marriage has become a bit mundane I feel there is no excuse for her behaviour. She had been very protective of her phone of late causing me to become very ...
A. 11 April 2013: From the details you've included at the end of your submittal.... it's clear that your's (and her) marriage has become "stale." BUT, that doesn't have to be fatal....
It's often cited that a "stale" marriage or relationship will spawn infideli... (read in full...)
How do I confront my cheating Fiance without making her angry because I spyed into her emails?
Q. How do you let your fiance know that you know she is cheating without her getting mad because you have been looking at her email that she keeps leaving open, most recent email to her "friend" "I still want to meet with you. I want to try if you ar...
A. 11 April 2013: SHE's cheating... and YOU'RE concerned about the details of confronting her with it??????
Please step back and take a deep breath..... IS her cheating fatal to your's and her relationship? If "yes," then what difference does it make that she will... (read in full...)
Joke on our parents didn't go over too well
Q. Me and a friend of mine have done a very bad thing. Basically my mom and his mom work together and they have wanted us to get together, and we don't want to, which annoys us, but they keep going on about it. One time when he came over for homewor...
A. 10 April 2013: SOMETIMES, it's best to keep quiet.... THIS is one of those times....
Let your Mothers stew over what that expected.... AND what you and this guy did....
I predict that - in 10 years or more - you and he will get quite a laugh about this.... ... (read in full...)
When the breakup comes should I ask him to return the gift?
Q. On Christmas I went way overboard and bought my boyfriend a very expensive gift. A bit over $300. I know. But I'm young and stupid and I guess it's one of those mistakes that when I'm older I'll look back and tell myself "well, that was ridicul...
A. 10 April 2013: NO, NO, NO .... you DON'T ask for the return of gifts...
A lady is supposed to offer to return the engagement ring, IF she calls off an engagement.... BUT all other gifts, given in good faith.... remain "gifts" and not subject to return..... (read in full...)
I like him, we've kissed, but it ever seems to go anywhere
Q. Ive known a guy for the last four years, we became quite close friends during school. Theres always been something between us, but he had a girlfriend for most of the time so it was always innocent flirting. Since he broke up with her a few months ...
A. 10 April 2013: Have you ever heard the cliche "Shit, or get off the pot"?
It applies here.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
After getting back with the Ex-GF you always had feelings for...
Q. I am getting back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 years of her dating some jerk. It really bothers me, that she broke up with me..and then went out with him. She didn't break up with me because of him, I"m sure of this. Should I bring it up...
A. 10 April 2013: Sure .... bring up the subject of this guy who YOU think you are so-much-better-than..... AND, thereby, let her "know" just how stupid you think that SHE IS in picking guys who she'll date....
THAT should be "just the ticket" to scuttle ANYTHING... (read in full...)
I cheated- He still wanted us to stay together but he calls me names and says he'll never marry me!
Q. I had cheated on my boyfriend 2 years into our relationship with an ex who I thought I was over with but I wasn't.After cheating I realized that what I had done was wrong in which I had told my boyfriend about it the next day.He was upset but we ...
A. 10 April 2013: "what should I do?"
Give up on this guy.... who is going to make you "pay" for your cheating/indiscretion FOREVER!!!!.... and find another "boyfriend" and start anew.... THAT is the ONLY "choice" that you have....
Good luck....
... (read in full...)
Concerned about my Dad's health
Q. I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask this, so sorry if it's not! Basically, I'm really worried about my dad. His dad, granddad AND uncle all suffered from debilitating strokes at around 55, that left them disabled for life. Th...
A. 10 April 2013: I think you are a good son to be concerned about your Dad's health..... (AND, would point out that YOUR health and longevity may, also, be predicted by your paternal family history!!!)....
That said,... there are a number of things that I would su... (read in full...)
No sex, No kissing, different religion and now my BF does not want to talk to me?
Q. I'm 22yrs plus while my guy is 25yrs plus we have been dating gettin to 4yrs now despite our religion differences,we both love eachother ,he pays me visit,he introduce me to his friends as his wife to be but now everything change suddenly.each time ...
A. 10 April 2013: Like so many guys... this one would be quite content to have $ex with you... but is not "in it" for any more type of interaction or committment....
Drop him... stay away from him.... and see if there isn't a "real" "boyfriend" out there for you.... (read in full...)
How can I make the best out of a bad situation? I'm worried I'm going to be depressed in my new house next year...
Q. I need advice on how to make the best of a bad situation, I've not dealt with something like this before so please don't judge me on what i'm about to say... I've lived in halls this year at university and now we're moving into a house for our se...
A. 10 April 2013: "I was sad because I had no shoes.... and, then, I met a man who had no feet....." Have you ever heard that (before)?
From the "sound" of your submittal, I would guess that you are accustomed to pretty good accomodations (I'm wont to say you'... (read in full...)
His friends are judgmental, mean, try to break us up and are so disrespectful!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm typing this post because I don't really know who to talk to about this. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years and me and him have been through a lot, like most long term relationships. I feel like I'...
A. 10 April 2013: The "problem" isn't with your B/F's friends.... it's with your "B/F". What you've described is a guy who is relatively indifferent to his G/F.... allowing his "friends" to behave in this manner....
You can do only ONE thing. TELL your "B/F" (a... (read in full...)
After a summer fling he's been hot and cold!
Q. Hello. This is pretty long, I would love some male advice because I have no clue what's going on! Okay here we go. SO, I started University 3 years ago, with a boyfriend and met a guy on my course. Anyway, he had a girlfriend too but we just clic...
A. 10 April 2013: The key phrase in your submittal is this: "Please bear in mind he never ONCE said what he wanted from me. "
In fact.... he HAS "told you" what he wants from you... by his ACTIONS. He wanted SEX..... and you gave it to him... repeatedly, apparent... (read in full...)
I made a big issue of my husband not being able to about his dead mom!
Q. I feel my partner has never properly grieved for his Mother. She passed away when he was 14 after battling with cancer for years but her death came quite suddenly. He has younger brothers who were 10 and 8 at the time. He is now 27. This is litera...
A. 9 April 2013: It's 13 years later... and he's STILL hasn't reconciled his Mother's death??????? Gawd, girl.... give this long and hard thought. WHAT are you going to face if he ever gets a SPEEDING ticket?????..... or, if one of his high school buddies moves ... (read in full...)
Sex after marriage vs sex if in a long term relationship, what is right?
Q. I'm in college, have never slept with anyone/had a boyfriend and I'm still undecided as to whether to do so before I get married (I'm also Christian though I wasn't raised religious). I would never sleep around but at the moment I feel it's unfair ...
A. 9 April 2013: Your submittal has one outlandishly naive detail. It is this: "Pros: You can be sure of the guy's commitment..."
THAT is backwards!!! The minute you spread your legs for a guy, all his desire/compulsions/needs to have a "committment" evaporat... (read in full...)
How do I get my BF to stop living with his parents and marry me and contribute more financially?
Q. My bf and i have been together for just over four years. He knows I eventually want marriage and a family. I am in my late 20s and he is early 30's so we are at that age to seriously start thinking about it etc. He jokes around, but he is probab...
A. 9 April 2013: YOur last paragraph is the most telling. You write:
"I dont know what to do really. Do i try to get him to see the benefits of moving in? Should he pay something weekly? (he still lives at home!). After all this time, i want the relation... (read in full...)
After 4 years I don't feel secure in this relationship. what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 4 years never really appreciates me for anything i do for him. Never compliments me, always expects me to compliment him. Always holds back his love, if i ask him says that if he says how he feels about me or show in his acti...
A. 9 April 2013: You've put up with this A-hole for 4 years???? .... and are just now starting to realize that what you (and he) have is no "relationship????"
Take all the advice that has preceded mine.... and dump him... and get on with your life....
Good lu... (read in full...)
He will not stop talking about his sexy female boss!
Q. Hi My bf of 3.5 years talks about his female boss very often like how hot she looks, how sexy her voice is. She is married with kids and i have seen her mildly flirting with my bf too. I told my bf not to talk about her often, as soon as he r...
A. 9 April 2013: I suggest you dump this one, and get a "boyfriend" who is a bit more accomodating of your feelings.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My mom is sleeping with a guy my age!
Q. My Mom is Sleeping with a Guy My Age. Advice? My mom is 45 and she's sleeping with a 21 year old guy I knew while growing up. I'm her only son (only child) and I'm 20. I don't think this is right, or appropriate at all. I think she should act h...
A. 8 April 2013: In a perfect world, you would go and sleep with "...this 21 year old guy I knew while growing up"'s Mother.. That would balance out the Karma....
Absent that...take the advice that you've read, herein.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
She's the Gf of a guy who is the best friend of my Bf. What should I about the continual rudeness of this girl towards me?
Q. Hello all. Well, I'm really quite down tonight because for a while now I have been dealing with a huge problem. Some of you may think it's silly but it's something that has really been bothering me so I would like to get some advice. The proble...
A. 8 April 2013: Here's what you do; Sit B/F down and calmly say to him:
"(his name here), I don't know if you notice it... but your best bud's G/F acts pretty badly toward me... and it upsets me to the point of hurt. In addition, she hangs out with you and ... (read in full...)
When is a woman at her sexual peak?
Q. When is a women's sexial prime...
A. 8 April 2013: For me, it seems to be shortly after I give her my "naughty, and mischievious little boy smile".....
Of course, I'm always right there to strike whiles the iron is hot!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How can I get along with my child's father?
Q. How can we get along? Me and my daughters dad HATE eachother we can not have a conversation with out cursing and drama and its interfering with our co parenting we tried the only talking about our child but it always lead to the arguing and disr...
A. 8 April 2013: If you and he are unable to engage in civil conversation, then you must simply get an intermediary pass "conversation" between the two of you....
good luck...... (read in full...)
How can I get this man to bend? He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship
Q. I had a beautiful relationship with a man for ten months. We are both 38. We went through through alot together. He had been seperated from his wife for three years. They had no kids involved. The thing is his ex wife didnt really want him back, ...
A. 7 April 2013: To CMMP and the OP: Great advice to be taken....
You (CMMP) seem to have overlooked that this creep has no guts..... and YOU have encouraged the OP to go ahead an place herself in-line for still some more heartache...
I stick with my advice..... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for what career path I should take?
Q. I am currently in college, I'm just taking basic courses as of now because I'm not sure of what career I want to pursue. I am interested in criminal justice but I really don't know what i want. I enjoy working with people, but also having some ...
A. 7 April 2013: AS I look back on my spotted career.... I can't help but imagine how much nicer my life might have been if I had had the brains to marry a girl who came from a fabulously wealthy family..... and whose Father (My father-in-law!) took me in to the ... (read in full...)
How can we manage our stubboness and stop it causing fights?
Q. This sorta thing has probably been asked in many forms before, but here goes... It's starting to come to me that my girlfriend and I are both stubborn, strong willed people. Neither of us likes to be "told what to do" or told we're doing some...
A. 7 April 2013: While you have noted the difficulties that this stubborness and argumentativeness has caused in your relationship..... I'm guessing that it doesn't take place "in a vacuum".... and that you and your girl also exhibit this behaviour in contacts ... (read in full...)
What is the best and worst pickup line you've ever heard?
Q. Pickup lines have been used on both men and women. Some are good, some are very, very bad, but we can all agree that they’re pretty funny. Share with us any good or bad ones you've heard. Feel free to list more than one!...
A. 7 April 2013: My best line is: I think I recognize you. Didn't we go to different schools together?
Works every time.... (and, believe me, I know because I have be dumped by VERY MANY girls... and had to go out and get ANOTHER girlfriend!!!)... (read in full...)
How can I tell him his snapping and shouting is hurting me?
Q. Hi , My partner and I have been together for four years. We both have full time jobs and we work all the time ( I often work when I get home from work and at weekends too when I need to- to be honest I enjoy working). Lately he has been sna...
A. 7 April 2013: I think that you have described a "relationship" which has run its course.....
The behaviour of your "boyfriend" is oh-so-common for a partner who has other things on their mind... and other romances that they want to pursue.... and... the "sna... (read in full...)
How can I get this man to bend? He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship
Q. I had a beautiful relationship with a man for ten months. We are both 38. We went through through alot together. He had been seperated from his wife for three years. They had no kids involved. The thing is his ex wife didnt really want him back, ...
A. 7 April 2013: You seem to have developed a fancy for a man who lacks a backbone (a SPINE!).... I think that the guy you've described.... who waffles based upon the actions of his two competing ladies (you and "the ex-")... can be expected to exhibit that same, ... (read in full...)
He disappeared without an explanation. Couldn't he at least explained first?
Q. Iam a 33 year old woman and I have been divorced for about 3 years. About 7 months ago, I met a man online from USA through a dating website. He immediately asked for my number and we got chatting and talking regularly. I am a professional and...
A. 7 April 2013: My quick explanation: On a dating/texting/talking site, a guy (or a girl) can be whomever they want. They can offer, or fabricate, any background (with details) that they wish..... and, can tailor it to whoever is hearing/reading/seeing it...... ... (read in full...)
Dating for 2 months. Three weeks ago told him I think I'm pregnant. Now he's ignoring me. Worse, now I think he might be married
Q. dear cupid ; i have been seeing this guy at work for 2 months and I think i'm pregnant by him. Told him 3 weeks ago that I think I'm pregnant. But i think he is married. He hasn't touched me and we haven't made love since i told him i was pregnan...
A. 6 April 2013: Looks like you've stepped in to that classic trap of a guy willing to bed you... and not looking beyond the next 15 minutes... as to how he will react if you are pregnant as a result.....
You can - and should - "keep his feet to the fire... ... (read in full...)
How could I contact an old teacher of mine?
Q. Hi, this may sound a silly question but its been bugging me for a while. How would I contact and old teacher? He is now a head teacher in another school and on the school website it only gives a email address for the admin of the school. Iv tried ...
A. 6 April 2013: ... a phone book comes to mind....
Why do you want to contact this teacher?... (read in full...)
Where can I meet some country boys?
Q. Where can you meet actual country boys to date? Like boys that have trucks, work on farms, and like country music; and talk with southern drawls? Do they exist?...
A. 6 April 2013: Ironically, there actually are a couple of sites that you might find helpful.... Two (of them) are "country match" and "rural match"...... I have seem such sites advertising on "Rural TV" or "RFD TV".... here in the colonies..... Give one (or ... (read in full...)
I don't think I want a boyfriend anymore, I just want to be alone for awhile. How can I tell my boyfriend this?
Q. my dad has just passed out recently and my boyfriend has been supportive and all that but I just feel like I d0nt need him in my life anymore.i wanna be alone not being involve with anyone is the way I feel normal or not coz I have been moody around ...
A. 6 April 2013: Rather than an "official" break-up.... how about you take B/F aside and say to him:
"Hunchy-bunchy, I have so much on my plate, at the moment... and I just don't know how to deal with it all. YOU have been a rock-solid support for me... an... (read in full...)
How would you see this situation if it was you? When sober he doesn't want us "official" but when drunk he "loves me" ??
Q. hey guys. after a bit of advice, its really complicated to me but ill try my best to explain it. so, i started working at a job in 2009. I'm a friendly person so got on well with everyone although there was one group i got realy close with, abou...
A. 4 April 2013: ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is said following the ingestion of alcohol, DOES NOT COUNT!!!!!
IF'n he sez (after ingesting alcohol) that he loves you.. then THAT is total B/S......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Is there any way out of this clash of values and attitudes? She wants to stop having sex until the wedding day (no date set for wedding yet)
Q. Hello, This is a bit long-winded but I hope you enjoy the ride. It's certainly been interesting for me. The backstory: I'm a 33 y/o professional traveling musician from the states. Three years ago I met a lovely 33 y/o girl in Germany ...
A. 4 April 2013: Yes... SHE is (or, had) escalated the "Christian - vs - atheist" thing..... and YOU were not consulted......
NOW, consider what you will - or might- have, going forward...
Myself? I wouldn't even DREAM of taking a chance with a "Bible thumper... (read in full...)
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