A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys,I feel like I have a very odd problem.Now, I've never been great with girls, the only time I've ever slept with people is when it pretty much falls right into my lap, like I've never done a huge graft for it, so I feel like I lack confidence in that respect.But the thing is, even though I don't get with a lot of girls, I always feel like even if I did, they wouldn't be able to get to my high standards. It feels like I'm setting them too high and when I look at girls, I feel as if I'm better than them in some sort of way and that they don't deserve me kind of thing. It's pretty hard to explain without sounding really arrogant, because re-reading what I've put, that's exactly what it does sound like. But I don't think I'm that way inclined, so I want to know what you guys think of this.I've never opened myself up to the feeling of 'love' if you want to call it that, besides the girl that I lost my virginity to, which was like 2 years ago now, but nobody has ever come close to me feeling that way about someone before and I wonder if it's something to do with that? Even though I don't think about this girl anymore.This makes me sound pretty weird I'd imagine, but I'd like to hear people's views on this, thanks in advance for taking the time to read and answer this question.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's quite bizarre to explain and it's getting to the point where I think I have a serious problem. Most of the girls I've slept with in the past, I lose 100% interest in almost immediately.
I also have a huge problem with ejaculation during sex, only one girl has ever been able to make me. I think all this kinda intertwines in some way and it's pretty baffling to me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): Wow, you remind me so much of a guy my best friend slept with...He was in love with the girl he lost his virginity to, but she wounded him and now he finds himself unable to love anyone properly. It's very sad.In your case, I don't see it as a problem. You have very high standards - good for you. My only concern is, are these standards superficial? Do you reject girls because you constantly pick out physical faults? Or is it because it simply 'doesn't feel right'?If the former, look in the mirror and realise it's not a matter of your looks, but the WAY in which you look at yourself and other people that makes them beautiful. Learn to love other people and your life will be much better. I'm sure there are girls who could pick your looks apart too.If the latter, maybe you're very intuitive and waiting for that special someone. ^^ 3
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 March 2013):
 What an interesting submittal. You write: "...I always feel like even if I did, they wouldn't be able to get to my high standards....".... then you tell us that, if some tart throws herself at you, you're at-the-ready to get it on with her....
I suggest that you go out in the desert for 40 days and decide just how you REALLY FEEL (and what you are committed to!) relative to getting it on with the ladies.
(I think I know!!!!)....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (31 March 2013):
It sounds to me you actually have got some dignity.
You also talk more mature than most of your peers.
You seem to value love higly which is good.
So I'm not sure you actually got a problem. You will find a woman who will appreciate you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): Being so young you don't really understand your own feelings. You are conflicted and confused; because you believe the old-school way of thinking. You didn't just develop this way of thinking, it may have been what you've been taught.You think that if a girl is too easy, she's not a good girl. You may have been taught that as a rule; but it isn't necessarily true. Girls often give it up as a last resort to keep a guy's interest. That's a mistake made sometimes out of youth, peer pressure, and inexperience. You also compare your inexperience to that of girls more experienced. You feel intimidated by them. So to resolve your fear and protect your ego; you place yourself above them. You write them off as cheap.That IS arrogant, and totally unfair! In a way, I understand you. You have built-in selectivity. You are looking for the better side; and then you feel you can adjust to it. The negative side of this is, that you'll act on these negative feelings. You may mistreat and disrespect girls for all the wrong reasons.The misogynist attitude you are forming toward women is going to keep you lonely. Women come to realize exactly what you're thinking; because they are intuitive enough to know who respects them and who doesn't. Your disrespect will manifest itself in how you speak to them, how you talk about them to your friends, and how you act around them.Sense you are totally aware of this behavior, you are young enough and smart enough to stop this way of thinking. Base your judgment on how they behave in general; not just how they behave sexually. Girls get bad reputations based more on lies than truth. Jerks use them, abuse them, then label them as tramps.Treat women just as you would want to be treated. Just as you would want your mother, sister, aunts, and grandmothersto be treated. You're too young to be thinking back in the ages when men would only marry virgins.The good thing is, girls are scrutinizing everything about you as well. As I said before, they know a jerk when they see one. They will pass the word around as soon as they figure it out.The moral is, cut out the old-fashioned thinking and move into the 21st century with the rest of us. If you don't, women will knock some sense into you. It might not be pretty!
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