A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am absolutely heartbroken because I've found the person who I know is meant for me, and I know in my heart that I love him more than I'll ever love anyone.He's divorced (I know this for a fact) and has a little boy with his ex wife.I understand that his son needs him, but I'm emotionally a wreck because the three of them go on outings like the movies, and it makes me think he doesn't care about my feelings. Today is Easter and I would like to see him, I am in a foreign country (Mexico) and so lonely for my family, no relatives here... guess where he is.But, I'm so afraid that he doesn't love me back. He and his ex wife go on outings with their kid, they're just like a family, the three of them go to the movies, etc. On holidays he stpends time with his kid, and this whore he was married to tags along. They're really divorced but they have these outings as if they were stll a fajmily. I'm so afraid that he will never truly love me, and I feel like I come second to his ex. Is it hopeless or could he ever truly love me?I'm far away from home, my entire family/pets in France, and I know that if he breaks my heart it will destroy me. This is destroying me and I'm scared that he doesn't really care about me.How can I know if he carse about me, or he is in love with his ex wife?I am so furious I could EXPLODE. I feel slapped in the face that I'm in a foreign country, originally I came here to play msuic but I stay for him and he doesn't seem to care about my feelings. My Easter is ruined because I've spent it in angry tears, he went off to Morelia with that tramp and their kid and I should have had a date. I feel used.I need him to love me but I'm afraid it's hopeless.Thanks if you can help me... I want to die because my heart is broken.A couple years ago on Christmas I was in angry tears because my last boyfriend was cheating on me with the town slut all day.I thought this man was sweet and kind and he doesn't seem to care that my Easter is RUINED.
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christmas, divorce, ex-wife, heartbroken, his ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Calling the mother of his child a whore is not going to help your cause.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-be-taken-seriously-as-a.html
Deciding people who you are not even dating is your soul mate and then fixating on them, bad mouthing the women in their lives and generally creating problems for your self is not healthy, nor will it get you the sort of relationship you seem to crave.
My advise is to seek professional help, either counselling or therapy, you need to learn what it is that attracts you to men who are not available to you, and then deciding nobody else will do. Therapy will help you discover what the triggers are for you, and how to control them. With a bit of luck it may also help you curb your tendancies to bad mouth women who have done nothing to harm or hurt you, as that is such a not good look.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): To all the people who answered her previously: this young woman is in love so telling her that she should dump him is not going to help her with the way she feels right now. She needs some reassurance and time to heal which is not going to be easy. How do i know? I'm going through a similar situation.
Now to the lady who wrote this post..if you can, i would recommend having a conversation with him. You need to remain calm when you do so and ask him where he stands with his ex wife. You need to know if he still has any feelings for her and whether he sees a future with you. If you are deeply in love with this man and want to see if things will work out, you really need to talk to him. When you do so post an update and I will tell you what to do next.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 "I've found the person who I know is meant for me, and I know in my heart that I love him more than I'll ever love anyone."Really? So, you know this for a fact? If so, you should really write a book outlining how one goes about knowing for sure that he or she has met his or her soul mate. Pretty sure you'd win for the Nobel prize for that, as it's a question that man has pondered since the beginning of time.In all seriousness, though, it sounds like you have an unhealthy attachment to this man and the men that you fall for in general. The fact that you choose to refer to the women in their lives with such degrading and irresponsibly harsh terms like "whore" and "slut" would suggest extreme jealously and/or possessive tendencies. Wanting to die because because of your emotions about the guy and feeling "heartbroken" because he's not with you really just confirm my suspicions.Your first move should be to make an appointment with a behavioral therapist, preferably one who practices DBT. Only a professional can help you overcome these unhealthy attachments that you have. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 April 2013):
By convincing yourself that you'll never love anyone as much as him you're setting yourself up for disaster. That's almost never true, and if it is true it certainly wouldn't be with a guy that makes you feel "heartbroken, afraid, used, wanting to die, hopeless, slapped in the face, furious, explosive, scared, unloved, uncared for, and leaves you in angry tears"!
Is that the type of feelings you associate with true love?
So you allow him to get away with this because you're too afraid to lose a guy that makes you feel like mierda. If this was true love you'd feel the opposite of how you feel.
Regarding your situation, it doesn't seem like you've actually tried talking with him. I don't mean telling him how you feel is but rather telling him how you expect to be treated.
And he's probably aware his behavior is inappropriate, he just knows you're not going to do anything about it so he doesn't care. Whether or not he's cheating I can't tell you. But he certainly could be doing these things by himself. They don't need to be pretending to be a family because they're not one.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 WHY bother spending time loving someone who doesn't - or won't - love you back???????
Dump this guy and get on with your life....
Good luck...
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