A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Have a problem with my husband...We have 2 children boy and the girl. When he’s drunk he will call me nasty names and sometimes beat me. I even slept at hospital twice.He says bad things to our daughter and tell my daughter you are not my child your mother she is hoe.The next day he says I'm sorry my mother witchcraft me...I'm not working because of him, he said I must leave my job and take care of the children. Now I'm not working he told me are must find a job. He won't give money and says I'm useless. He call me names. I love this man
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2013):
 If you want to stay and be abused by this man that's fine but you are putting your children at risk for both physical and mental harm.
You are teaching your daughter that living with a drunk abusive man is acceptable. IT IS NOT.
IF you do not want your son learning this is how you treat a wife and your daughter learning this is how a wife is supposed to be treated I strongly urge you to take the children and leave.
If yo do not have family that you can return to, then find a women's shelter or agency to help you get away from the abuse.
I will not tell you that you don't love him. I understand. I love a violent alcoholic. BUT I'm old enough to be your mother and my children are NOT in danger of learning bad behavior or being harmed.
I don't care what you do as an adult if you love him so much you must stay with him at least be brave enough to send the children to live with your mother.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 April 2013):
Dear OP,
The only advice I can give you, has already been given three times: Leave him. You are irresponsible towards yourself and your children, you are dependent on this terrible person who excuses his mistakes with witchcraft when it's actually alcohol and a bad character.
Do you really want to grow old like this, with that man, give your children a childhood like this? Have a life with no money, no rights, no appreciation of your efforts?
I know that you feel love for him, obviously you do. But there's love and there's reason and a will to survive. You need to activate that. Maybe you love this man just because you've never met any real good man who treats you right.
If your best friend told you that her husband beats her up, calls her names and tells the children mean things about her, what would you advise her?
Is there any family around you, any relatives, or even friends, that would help you get out of this relationship? Is there a place you could go? What options do you have?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): Sorry OP we can't help you. He's abusing you and your children, if you don't get out of there now, you'll have two broken and very angry little kids have an absolutely horrible life because of him.
It's beyond our capabilities to help you, you need to leave.
Contact this shelter service for proper advice.
http://www.powa.co.za/powa/15-get-help.html
And start looking into your divorce options, you can actually do pretty all of it online too, which is really handy.
http://www.edivorce.co.za/divorce-articles/legal-matters/domestic-violence/
OP contact POWA as soon as you read this, email them or call them and ask for an appointment and discuss all your options with them.
Ask yourself OP, is your love for him worth turning your kids into sad little broken or even abusive criminals because that's how they've been raised by their father? Love for your child comes first, always. He can go fuck himself.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 April 2013):
 You write: "I love this man..." at the end of a submittal in which you describe a man who has no love for you...... WHY do you delude yourself in to believing that you love this man????? Is it not correct that what you really feel toward him is FEAR? That's no way to live...
Dump him, and get on with your life... a much-healthier life (for your children) without him....
Good luck...
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