A
female
age
30-35,
*miles88
writes:I met a guy on a dating site and he seemed really genuine and sweet. After a week of talking, despite not being 100% on his picture, I agreed to meet with him for a drink because I thought we had a lot in common. We met and had a really lovely evening, finished with a kiss, which way exceeded expectations. He was much better looking in the flesh and we seemed to click really well… He text me the same night to say that he’d had a great evening and that he wanted to see me again. We agreed that we would see each other on the Sunday and make plans on the days running up. This was on Thursday… Friday we spoke and all seemed fine, he went to a party that evening and then all was quiet. I didn’t try to contact him as he was out and didn’t need some woman constantly texting him while he’s trying to enjoy his night. I decided to wait for him to text me… Saturday evening I’d still not heard anything and was starting to worry so I sent him a short text asking if he’d had a good night and asking what the plan was for tomorrow (Sunday)… Nothing…. Well, Sunday came and I waited for the apologetic call or text… nothing… I’d been blown out and without even a word… I was so angry and upset. More out of disappointment because I thought we had gotten on great and seemed to have really good chemistry. Anyway, I decided to leave it. I took him out of my mind and tried to move ahead… Well today (Wednesday) I received this message…. “hey!! so glad I've managed to get hold of you....i owe you an apology as well as an explanation, you probably thought I was just ignoring you... well I wasn't! I had my phone stolen or I lost it when I was down the pub on Friday night.... was worried I wouldn't be able to get in contact with you! how are you anyway babe? again really sorry! thankgod whatsapp has a restore message thing when you download the app! x” What should I do? I don’t want to rule him out but then also don’t want to be walked all over….. Any suggestions? Thank you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2013):
 to SageOldGuy:
if he met her once and did not know her number by heart how would borrowing a phone from a friend help?
OP I like that you are giving him ONE chance. But please do not let it happen again because once is a mistake TWO is a pattern.
A
female
reader, Smiles88 +, writes (4 April 2013):
Smiles88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe didn't have my email address. We went straight from he dating site to texting and I closed my account on the dating site so the only contact he had for me was our phones... Without his phone there was no way to contact me. He's not on social networking sites and neither am I... It is only for this reason that I have agreed to see him again but I won't be diving into anything. I will never know 100% if he was telling he truth I guess...I'd like to think so but I will definitely be more wary of how much I invest into this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): "I had left the dating site because I was getting a lot of unpleasant (explicit) messages so he was unable to contact me on there "
now that does sound like hes making an excuse!! Men love explicit messages OP!
good luck anyway :-)
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (4 April 2013):
 I'm not convinced that he's lying, but I'm not convinced that he's being 100% honest either.He could have really lost his phone or whatever. Or he could have met someone over the weekend that he liked but with whom he couldn't make it work, so he's returning to you.I'd give him a second chance. This is a case where you really don't want to put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak. Wait a few more dates before you allow yourself to get really pumped up about the guy. And if he pulls something like this again you know that he's either wildly irresponsible or just plain disrespectful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): I don't believe him. He met you on a dating site, so he knows your email. Why he didn't emailed you?
He should've called you and apologize, not text you. I really don't believe him. For 5 days he didn't email you, knowing that you had a date. It's up to you, of course but I wouldn't give him a second chance. He is lying, that's my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Smiles88 +, writes (4 April 2013):
Smiles88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your help. Just to clarify a few points... I had left the dating site because I was getting a lot of unpleasant (explicit) messages so he was unable to contact me on there and without his phone he had no other contact for me... I hadn't given him too much information as we'd only met the once. Thanks to your advice I have decided to give him the benefit of the doubt this time but will be treading very careful and taking things slow. I'm going to let him chase me for a while and see if he makes the effort... Thank you all again! Wish me luck :) x
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A
female
reader, Skittledelight +, writes (4 April 2013):
If you were both on a dating site, couldn't he have contacted you on there?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 April 2013):
 I think one more chance is one (more) too many..... What's it take to borrow a friend's phone... or go to a payphone (yes, there ARE a few around!!!) and call you.
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 April 2013):
 hi
I know somebody who had their phone stolen this weekend too, they emailed me to let me know then rang when new phone arrived.
I agree, give him another chance
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A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (3 April 2013):
 Well, I know a bit about mobile and computers. Here what's you really wanted to know :
The restore function of whatsapp only works if you find the SAME phone without formating it. This means if you delete your Sd card content / memory storage , there is no way you can get back MESSAGES backup at all. If you change the phone, there is no backup made so no MESSAGE backup.
However, if you sync your whatsapp CONTACTS you can get them back easily .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 April 2013):
Agreed with the posts below. One more chance, and if he pulls that one again, forget him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): Its a 50/50 chance that he's telling the truth or lying. I wouldn't after this say good by, but I would be cautious. After second incident like this you will need to drop him. If he lost his phone that's a legitimate reason not to call you , BUT, he could've done the option he mentioned a little earlier than Wednesday
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2013):
I'd give him ONE MORE CHANCE.. it's very possible he lost his phone.. this is why I insist we have landlines and write numbers down.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): sounds like he got blind drunk and couldn't find his phone. if that is the case then it might be worth bearing mind. if it becomes habit ditch him.
let him come to you now - balls in your court!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): Everyone deserves at least one more chance. I've had the exact same thing happen to me. The other person lost their cell phone, and I thought they were ignoring me. I'm not inclined to call or text to request any explanation. I just wait. I feel it's up to the other person to let me know if there is a delay, cancellation, or emergency. I don't like to appear too eager. It is also a test of their manners and consideration. How a person handles such mishaps says a lot about them.I usually write numbers down for access when my phone is down or unavailable. I use another phone to notify the other person out of courtesy, as quickly as possible. Some people rely heavily on their devices, so you really have to give the guy benefit of the doubt. If he was ditching you, you never would have heard from him again.You're both newly acquainted; so you shouldn't draw conclusions too quickly. Nor should you start investing feelings too early for a stranger.I understand your disappointment, but things do happen unexpectedly. He was at a party after all. Even if he left his phone at some woman's house, he is technically single; and free to see whomever he pleases. You had only one date.Don't rush to judgement. It took time to track down his phone.How you feel about each other should develop over time. You're bound to make a slip or a mistake at some point in time yourself. Just suggest that he keep your number written down in his wallet, and "call" ahead should he have an emergency. You should do the same. You'll both memorize the numbers once you're better acquainted.Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Yurimi +, writes (3 April 2013):
I think you should give him a pass for this one because if he was trying to blow you off he wouldn't have answered you at all or even given you some sort of explanation but if it happens again or in a similar fashion then you should be more suspicious.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2013):
 I would accept the apology for now, it's only been a week, so give him the benefit of the doubt.
Just go slow.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): Hmm it does seem a bit suspect. My cynical side is saying that he did blow you off but for whatever reason (maybe because you didn't keep chasing him?) he has changed his mind. However my optimistic side is saying that technically these things do happen so it could be true. I've lost a couple of phones on nights out so it can happen, and you did say you got a good feeling from him when you met. If it were me I'd probably give him a final chance but keep your eyes out for any other signs all isn't what it seems. You won't really lose much if you go out with him again and it will get rid of the 'what if' feeling you might have if you don't. Good luck!
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