A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all. I have a question, it's kind of bothering me, so I'd like some advice... I'm 21 years old. I have 2 friends, who I don't hang out with (they're busy with kids and such) so I'm normally hanging out with my boyfriend. We've been together 5 years, well - will be in December. We both do online gaming, and I've met some really cool people over the years. Tonight, my friend asked me to text him if I'm ever bored or want to play. So I have been...my boyfriend doesn't allow me to text other guys... so what should I do? Should I tell him? I've never cheated on him, and have no intentions in doing so. It just bothers me that he gets so jealous of me talking to any guy. When we text, it's just been stupid funny stuff. A few photos of his car, so no flirting. Am I wrong for talking to another guy? I don't think I am, as it's all friendly. What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 April 2013):
 you are 21 and have been with said boyfriend since you were016/ 17... that's a long time in the world of someone so young.
you say "my boyfriend doesn't ALLOW me to text other guys"
honey you are NOT his property. He does not own you and he has no say in what you do. He cannot permit you or not permit you to take actions independent of him.
IF you WANT to text other PEOPLE, then make it so.
and if he does not like it, well he knows where the door is and don't let it hit him on the way OUT of it.
Eventually you will have
my boyfriend does not want me to wear tight jeans
my boyfriend does not want me to wear sexy clothes
my boyfriend wants me to wear a burka
Jealousy is NOT an emotion rooted in love. GET that idea out of your head. just because a man is jealous of your actions when he's not around does NOT mean he loves you.
jealousy is an emotion rooted in insecurity totally.
you have friends... now to be honest if my hubby was texting with a girl (not chatting online at his game) I would not be happy to find out AFTER the fact, but if he was talking to her with my knowledge and consent and was totally open about what was going on with her I'd be fine with it.
I don't see you staying with Mr. Controlling for much longer however.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): Excuse me OP? Your boyfriend dictates who you can and cant text? what the F***!
No wonder you only have 2 friends you only see very rarely. Sounds like your BF is controlling and possessive!
Your a grown woman, not a kept woman. Your not a slave or a piece of shit so stop letting him treat you one and text your friends, get a social life and enjoy being young....except you cant can you because he puts a stop to it.
Leave this control freak and move on with your life!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 April 2013):
 The "key" to your question is in this excerpt from your submittal:
"......my boyfriend doesn't allow me to text other guys... so what should I do? Should I tell him? I've never cheated on him, and have no intentions in doing so. It just bothers me that he gets so jealous of me talking to any guy."
You're describing an insecure - but CONTROLLING - boyfriend. There's no telling just where/what/when he will pronounce other prohibitions on you... but they WILL COME.... and when they do, that will be your signal that your relationship is really no relationship, at all... but is HIS dalliance, with you...
Think about how deep in to this you want to get, before you decide that you need a different (type of) boyfriend...
Good luck...
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