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My wife wants to be alone with another man before I join them for a threesome

Tagged as: Age differences, Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2013) 11 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2013)
A male Canada age 51-59, *owman writes:

I have been married for 4 years, we have 2 kids together.

A couple of months ago she wanted to try a threesome (mmf) with one of our friends (a 23 year old guy). it was not that bad, but its like it has been going on every month.

Today she asked me if I would mind that he picks her up to go to the motel alone for a while then she would text me the room number so I can meet them.

Why would she want to go alone with him if we have so much fun together? we are very open with each other but inside of me it bothers me a bit. I asked what would she do alone with him and she said not to think about it..... What does that mean?

View related questions: text, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013):

I agree on:

Suggest a threesome with a 24 year old, really, really hot young woman. AND then say you want to be alone with that woman for a little bit first. See how she takes it.

THAT will shut her up immediately.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (1 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntah permission to cheat... that's what we have here....

if you no longer are enjoying your threesomes you can tell her NO MORE.

IF she wants to be alone with him she wants permission to cheat... BTDT....

once she's got alone time with him, then it will be dinner and spending more time and eventually you will have to force her to choose you or him.

make her chose now before she has more feelings for him or she'll let you walk. I let mine go so I could keep (and eventually marry) the boy toy.

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A male reader, tochiro343 Australia +, writes (1 April 2013):

tochiro343 agony auntAllthough it is an exciteing and an erotic thing to do unfotunately you have opened Pandoras box and you won,t know what comes next .I did that with my wife now ex and she started seeing him without me. All you can do is hope for the best that all will be well or if you feel like your missing out insist for her to film it for you.If I wanted a woman to keep forever I wouldn,t play such dangerous games the losers of this game could be your children.Somethings are better kept as a fantasy. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013):

There is no way in the world I would ever share my husband with another woman and it should be the same way nowadays ppl really don't value you marriage. Nowadays everybody is playing house there aren't to many marriages staying together.If I were you it's ime to leave.Good Luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013):

Suggest a threesome with a 24 year old, really, really hot young woman. AND then say you want to be alone with that woman for a little bit first. See how she takes it.

THAT will shut her up immediately.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (30 March 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou write: "Why would she want to go alone with him if we have so much fun together? we are very open with each other but inside of me it bothers me a bit. I asked what would she do alone with him and she said not to think about it..... What does that mean?"

It "means".... HE'S a young hottie who she wants to get it on with, unencumbered by your presence.... AND, this is the beginning of YOU getting dumped.....

Sorry, but that's one of the closing chapters of "threesomes". You agreed to let it be written; now you have to live with the results....

Good luck....

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A female reader, R1 United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2013):

R1 agony auntThreesomes in a marriage are a bad idea full stop, now it appears your wife has developed feelings for this young guy. I think you need to start setting some boundaries. Are you in an open relationship where she can sleep with whoever she wants or do you want her back as your wife?

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2013):

It means she’s going to have some sort of sexual encounter with him-and, it would seem, she’ll do it whether you like it or not. A classic case in point for why fantasies of this kind should remain fantasies: in changing the sexual boundaries of your relationship, it’s now unclear what is and isn’t acceptable. So, if you’re not happy about it, you’ve got to tell her, and both of you need to discuss the boundaries afresh. That’s the only way to give your marriage any chance of escaping serious damage from this foolish decision you both made.

I wish you all the very best.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (30 March 2013):

I'll tell you why she wants to be alone with him: she likes him and probably wants to have some time to herself so she doesn't feel like you're watching over her shoulder. She wants to do what she wants and say what she wants without worrying about you.

Your wife is being selfish, and if you let her do this when you feel uncomfortable it won't go well for you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013):

Well, I could write a long winded warning about threesomes were all partners do not get an equal amount of the sex but have you thought of this.

Maybe they are planning a surprise?

Like a 4th person?

Or she meant exactly what she said, don't think about her having an affair with your blessing.

It is to late to wonder if you should have gotten on the rollercoaster once the cart has started going downhill. Ride it out.

Just remember, no matter how exciting the ride might look, someone always ends puking his guts out at the end.

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A female reader, NORA B Ireland +, writes (30 March 2013):

Would you consider having an indept chat with your wife about your relationship.Ask her straight out why she wants to be alone with this guy before you join them.The problem with a threesome is that sometimes one person gets hurt.Kind Wishes Nora B.

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