A
female
age
30-35,
*ainandfire
writes:Hey all, I have a really good friend, let's call him “X” (male), who I have known for years. When he recently got a new girlfriend, I was so happy for him, until I found out what this girl was like. She didn't like me from the beginning and told my friend “X” (male) that she didn't like me. So after that I kind of just stayed away from her completely.This girl was always into a lot of drama with other females, and is a huge trouble maker. I also noticed how flirty she was with “X” (male)'s male friends. Many,many guys have told me that this girl has flirted with them and has even made sexual offers to them. They showed me the texts/messages that this girl sent to them, and she has even sent naked pictures of herself to them. Then over the next few weeks a few of my other friends told me they did stuff with her, so she basically cheated on “X” (male) with several other guys.I finally decided to tell one of “X” (male)'s best friend's what was going on (Not sure if this was the right thing to do but it's what I ended up doing), and it got back to “X” (male).They broke up for several months and I noticed how much happier “X” (male) seemed to be, he even found a new relationship for a while but it ended. Well now recently I found out that “X” (male) is back with the cheating girl. I know it's not my business but “X” (male) has been a great friend for years and I hate to see him with this type of girl. I don't think she cares about him at all and she continues to cheat on him. I'm not sure what “X” (male) is thinking, he is a really nice guy and I know how desperate he as been for love. And on top of all of this, she doesn't even like me. I haven't given her any reason not to like me. She is very weird with other females, even “X” (male)'s female friends, but she is very friendly and flirty with his male friends...why do you think this is? Why does “X” (male) continue to be with this girl? Like I said I know it's not my business but I can't help to feel sorry for “X” (male). What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2013):
 all you can do is be his friend and keep your nose out of his business.
EVEN if he asks you, do NOT bad mouth his current (or recent) x partner as they may get back together.
A
female
reader, Skittledelight  +, writes (4 April 2013):
You're right to want to protect your friend, but he has to make his own decisions. You've mentioned confiding in X's best friend, and that his other friends have told you what the woman in question is like...but have you ever talked to X, personally, just the two of you? You can express your concerns sensibly and say you're only looking out for him, and want him to have an informed opinion of this woman. You shouldn't try to push him or influence him in his decision - just let him know the facts (and if you don't have facts, be careful) and that you care for him. The next move is his. Perhaps he's afraid of being alone, or this girl really has a lure for him. She's obviously got something, to attract so much male attention, even if it isn't the 'right' thing. She probably wants more attention than X gives her alone - some people are like that. It's a problem they have to deal with if they want to mature, but there's nothing you can personally do about it.Unfortunately I think that's all the advice I can give on the matter. Let him know you care.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 April 2013):
 You write: "I know it's not my business but “X” (male) has been a great friend for years and I hate to see him with this type of girl."
Stick with the "I know it's not my business...." part, and let HIM handle the rest of it....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 April 2013):
He continues with her because he likes the attention/sex/whatever, and because he's afraid.
Leave him alone because there's nothing you can do; he'll hopefully learn his lesson.
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