If I'm not good enough for my girlfriend then why didn't she just let us stay broken up?
Q. I found out my girl of 2 years was talking sexual to guys from dating sites. It caused us to break up and she begged me to go back to her. She admitted it was stupid and said it was not for sexual reasons, but teasing and flirting with them just for ...
A. 1 March 2013: You ask (me/us): "What is going on?"
I ask you: What difference does it make? This girl really has not exhibited much real interest in you... so you're better off leaving her by herself and getting on with your OWN life....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't decide which university to go to and its taking a toll on him and everyone close to him!
Q. I don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly six months and for the entire time he's struggled choosing a faculty for his university. He's torn between two- studying Philosophy and Psychology. We've talked about this a lot of ...
A. 1 March 2013: Here's an open letter to all those who are giving two-cent's-worth about your friend's decision-agony:
"Dear Worrier,
The guy who you are worrying about is old enough to make his own decisions. He must be adult to make them and live with th... (read in full...)
If I move back where he is will it help our relationship?
Q. I left my partner for what was initially a short time 6years ago,he was dificult n verbally abusive,we lived in Ireland and I took my daughter who was then 12,she started school in the UK n loved it,my partner was upset which shocked me as he had ...
A. 1 March 2013: WE guys love it when a woman coddles us like "Mommy" used to.... AND gives us pass after pass for our boorish behaviour. How ecstatic would your man be if he (read this submittal, and...) knew just how you've agonized over coming back for still ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's unwillingness to save money is affecting our future and I don't know what to do about it
Q. Me and my boyfriend are complete opposites when it comes to money. He's all about spend, spend, spend and I'm the save, save, save type which is causing problems between us. Any time he works he wants to spend it all instead of saving. We're trying ...
A. 1 March 2013: Well.... you're certainly getting a preview of what life might be like with this guy if you continue to spend time together, have a relationship, and - possibly - marry....
Soooo, decide if you want to try to make a life with a guy who is fiscally... (read in full...)
Broke up with bf.. but now he's being mean?
Q. Ok - I broke up with my ex almost 2 weeks ago and have been NC since. I broke it off, because he was distant and not giving me enough attention, and gave me the impression he wanted out of the relationship but wanted me to end it... so I did. He's ...
A. 1 March 2013: He's your "ex-"....
Let him be your ex-.... .and get on with your life. WHY would anything that he does have to impact you??????
I think you need advice about how to break up with a guy. My advice? Ignore him and forget that he exists a... (read in full...)
Should I have my boyfriend over and let him tell my dad we'll be out for 2 days?
Q. For Valentine's, my 33 year-old boyfriend got me a gift voucher, good for a spa day for two, and a night in a hotel, breakfast included. We've gone to the spa (great, by the way), and we will book the night very soon. However, I mentioned this...
A. 1 March 2013: Cerberus and OP: You're correct. Daddy CAN'T forbid you (OP) from this excursion. HOWEVER, he CAN say: "No daughter of mine would do this. AND, if a daughter of mine - who lives in my home - DOES do this... then I'd feel comfortable telling ... (read in full...)
Should we keep dating when we both know we are going to part sooner or later?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a year we are 21 and 22. Great relationship, very happy together. We both know at some point in the future we will seperate, since we both have things (traveling, schooling) we need to do. I just lately have been ...
A. 1 March 2013: The nice thing about predicting what will happen, in events over which you have total control, is that YOUR PREDICTION WILL COME TRUE!!!!
Sounds like you are "planning" for this "relationship" to end... you just don't know when your going to trigg... (read in full...)
I am married. But I still have a crush on this guy from the past. Can I get over my crush? Or what should I do?
Q. I’m a married woman with two children. My husband is good but not so romantic. He loves me, but he does not show me that he loves me. When I was in school I was proposed to by a boy who self-harmed himself. I loved him secretly but I was suspecte...
A. 1 March 2013: YOU are married and have two children. Until and unless that changes, all the rest of your submittal is of no import......
Work on the family - and life - that you have.... don't waste your time and energy fantasizing about the family and life... (read in full...)
Where is my relationship going after 4 years?
Q. I'm getting rather concerned about where my relationship is going. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. It doesn't feel like its progressing to the next step or anywhere really. I've tried talking to him about it but get the same answer....
A. 1 March 2013: "Sounds" to me like the two of you are coasting along ... doing the same routines time after time... sort of like two cars on roads that aren't quite parallel... and may not, ultimately, be going to the same destination....
On the other ha... (read in full...)
Our communication is terrible! How can we fix it?
Q. The way my boyfriend and I communicate worries me. I see him on the weekend, usually Saturdays. He may stay over. We dont do anything or plan anything for during the day on a Saturday. On a Sunday, nothing is planned either it often takes a while to ...
A. 1 March 2013: Do you REALLY KNOW that he lives with his Mother? and: 1. Isn't married?, or, 2. has another "girlfriend" who occupies his time when he's away from you? I'd sure be suspicious......
good luck..... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I have been faking my orgasms?
Q. Hi Okay, I'm going to keep the introduction 'til my problem as short as possible. Please bear with me because I could really use some advice. I had a very rough childhood, bullied a lot and extreme. Then a couple of really bad things happ...
A. 28 February 2013: We (guys) know that ALL you girls fake your orgasms..... and we allow for it...
WE, on the other hand, fake "relationships" so that you will keep putting out for us......
Good luck (not fake)........ (read in full...)
Need help shopping for the perfect engagement ring
Q. I'm starting the process of shopping for an engagement ring for my girlfriend. It seems like I've been reading up on them for hours, learning about the quality, cut and color. But I cannot seem to find a good way to determine carat size. I know th...
A. 28 February 2013: When it came time to give my now-ex-wife a ring.... I told her, "Nothing is too good for my girl....".... and that was what I gave her.... NOTHING....
She stuck with me for fifteen years.......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's family doesn't like me or my children
Q. I have been dealing with for two years now and it come and goes in waves. My Boyfriends parents dont really seem to like me or my kids. When we 1st got together it seems that they just dealt with me but you could tell by small subtle hints they ...
A. 28 February 2013: Ironically, this guy's parents/family are only the "canary in the coal mine".... that is, they give you the evidence that something is amiss.... but it is not the parents/family that is/are the problem.... IT IS YOUR "BOYFRIEND".
If he is aware... (read in full...)
Is this relationship salvageable or should I move on?
Q. My husband and I have had a bad marriage the last 2 years. We've been married 14 years. He turned into a workaholic and I was lonely. I started hanging out with friends. A few were guys. He avoided me by working all the time. I developed an add...
A. 27 February 2013: Your hubby's algebra is very interesting. To wit:
2("emotional affairs") = (bedding some girl) + 4(being on dating sites).
Regardless.... you and he are in a dispute (based, according to him, upon his "creative" algebra) which probably h... (read in full...)
How do you deal with constipation caused by too much time together?
Q. Hi =] I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half months now and things between us are going great =] However I do have an unusual problem and wondered if anyone else had experienced this. I know it's not very pleasant, but I get constip...
A. 27 February 2013: I've had buddies of mine tell me that they had upset tummies and vomited when their Mother-in-law visited.....
But NOTHING like you've described, herein....
Usually, I get constipation only when I don't drink adequate beer to keep my innards flow... (read in full...)
Would you apologise again or just leave things as they are?
Q. Long story short, I made a bit of an ass of myself at my friend's 40th birthday party at the weekend. We all got together on Saturday and spent the weekend together, I only really know the husband and wife who were giving the party, the other...
A. 27 February 2013: She gave you a chance to bury it. ... NOW, leave it buried....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was caught chatting up another girl over facebook. Do I dump him, or give him another chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 months now. So far are three months up to now had been perfect, no argueing, no fights, no huge issues, everything had been smooth and lovely. I was ...
A. 27 February 2013: I LOVE the "moment of weakness" defense that guys call up when they have been caught in an infidelity.....
IF I actually acted out every "moment of weakness" that I'd ever experienced... I swear, I'd still be in bed with about the 10000th girl ove... (read in full...)
My bipolar boyfriend keeps disappearing!
Q. My boyfriend has bipolar disorder. I know that causes mood changes. Every time he gets paid ( he is on disability benefits ), he disappears. It's usually for about three or four days. Sometimes, he texts and calls me during that time, but sometimes ...
A. 27 February 2013: Why, oh-why, would you put yourself through the drama and angst that you describe in your submittal? Is it REALLY worth it??????
Re-read your submittal and ask yourself just WHAT is going on in YOUR head (NOT HIS)!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why did he go soft? Am I a turn off?
Q. If my boyfriend n i been together 7 yrs n lately everything is a argument. We juss had sex n i was on top seems to me everything was going well. Out of no where he gets soft.. What does that means?? Am i a turn off? Alot of thoughts are running ...
A. 27 February 2013: Sure. Who can "keep it up" when the girl on top of him is little more than an argument partner??? Listen to what IAmHere wrote... and focus on what's making the two of you argue. Fix that, and you will probably have fixed your "softness" ... (read in full...)
Our culture favors sons over daughters, I need advice on how to deal with this unfair situation!
Q. I'm a 22 years old woman and raised by precious and happy family ever. My parent is the greatest parent for me and I have two younger brothers. My brothers are lovely and we have some weird habit toward my 2nd brother, we like to kiss him everyday ...
A. 27 February 2013: Sorry to be so blunt.... but many people come to a "free country" like the United States to get away from these kooky cultural norms that they HAD to endure in their homelands (country of origin), and they take a more "enlightened" view of life, ... (read in full...)
We are yin and yang sexually!
Q. my boyfriend just doesnt get me sexually. He likes it hard and fast and athletic and it takes him a very long time to come, I like it soft and slow. I try and guide him but he just takes over!! and Im swore and eager for it to be over :( tried to ...
A. 27 February 2013: A "... loving, caring man..." does NOT inflict pain and suffering upon his intimate and sexual partner. Please take the time to reassess just what and who this guy is in your life....
The protestations in your two follow-ups are totally inconsis... (read in full...)
I need help in dealing with my self-centered father!
Q. My dad has problems communicating with people. He has a mental illness, but which one not even the doctors can pin down. Maybe a combination of Aspergers, bipolar personality disorder, and quite a chunk of paranoia. He is very self centered. T...
A. 27 February 2013: I suggest that you love and stand by him, as a SON.....
But leave any correction of his mental woes to the PROFESSIONALS. From your description, that's who needs to be called upon to help him...
Good luck..... (read in full...)
What can I do? I'm scared my boyfriend's just gonna be like this the rest of his life
Q. My boyfriend is 24 years old. He dropped outta High School due to severe insomnia. He has no license, no job, and syill lives with his parents. He has big plans for his future but it seems he doesn't care to do anything about yet he always complains ...
A. 27 February 2013: You write: "...What can I do? I'm scared he's just gonna be like this the rest of his life...."
From the "sound" of your description of this guy.. he IS "gonna be like this the rest of his life." Do YOU want to be the one who is by his side....... (read in full...)
The man I'm supposed to marry in 2 months has been cheating on me!
Q. I need help. I love my fiance and he loves me. We have been together for seven years. I recently found out he has been flirting on his job sites and got a girls number and was texting her. And he hit on a friend of ours. He keeps telling me how ...
A. 27 February 2013: You write: "..What should I do? How do I trust him again?"
1. You postpone the wedding for at least six months.
2. You don't even CONSIDER to trust him until those six months are up...... AND, only after he has gone through a complete metam... (read in full...)
We broke up but it hurts so much. If I leave it too long, to contact her, will she will settle in with her new choice?
Q. So i was in this wonderfull relationship, with my girlfriend for 2 years, We are both in our 20s Over the past couple months our relationship has gotten worse. We were not very close, i tried to do what i could but i guess it wasn't enough or the r...
A. 27 February 2013: "Sounds" to me like she discovered - before you did - that you and she have sufficient incompatibilities that you cannot have a successful relationship......
Sooo, how about you (and she) count your blessings and thank your stars that you didn't g... (read in full...)
Is this how boys are? How can I get over this betrayal? He told me his actions are "part of being a liar"
Q. My b.f told me that I’m 6 month solder than he is and that he want to breakup... When we met he lied to me and said that he was 18years old, I just can’t forget all he said to me. I asked him to tell me the reason why he made a lot of promises to m...
A. 27 February 2013: You write: "...can’t stop crying or thinking about him... "
Please let me give you a GREAT reason to stop crying and forget about him. HE'S A LOUT!!! .... and is not worthy of your tears or your thoughts!!!!!
That should work.... Good l... (read in full...)
I'm so scared we made a mistake. Yes we married. But was I his "last resort" choice?
Q. I met a man two years ago during a year long course. For the year he would follow me out for breaks, chat, flirt. I gave him my number and he called and invited me out. First night he told me about his drinking, drugs, problems with his dad, ch...
A. 27 February 2013: I'd like to offer an alternative - and positive - spin on this matter:
You have described his struggle(s) with drinking, drugs and a difficult past .... all of which you are willing to give him a "Pass" for getting over them.... He chose a "prefe... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up saying he had never felt like marrying me..something was wrong. I want him back though!
Q. My ex boyfriend and I celebrated our two year anniversary at the beginning of February and he dumped me over the phone 11 days later. We were in what I considered to be a very committed relationship--sure we had never talked about marriage but to ...
A. 27 February 2013: From what you've described, I'd say that is would be "hopeless" to hold out hope that he will, somehow - and miraculously - change to be that guy who you want him to be....
Put your relationship with him behind you... and concentrate on getting ... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since the break up. How long before I get my ex out of my head?
Q. How long til I can finally get my ex out of my head? We were only together two years, during which time we had a relatively up and down relationship, mainly due to circumstances. He was close to his ex which I didn't like, I often put my friends ...
A. 27 February 2013: I would offer a slight variance upon what Cerebus suggests. Mine (suggestion) is this:
Sit down and WRITE A LETTER TO HIM. In it, explain how attached you were to him... and how disappointed you were that he and you didn't make it as a couple. ... (read in full...)
I'm broken hearted and confused over boyfriend's cheating. Can anyone explain?
Q. so I had dated a guy for 2 years. he had kissed a girl i had been friends with in high school last year. i was kept in the dark for so long, she still partied with him and talked, he even asked me for her number. i didnt have any idea, i thought ...
A. 26 February 2013: You ask: "....i dont get it. im left feeling inadequate.. if any man in the audience could explain why he did this?"
First: There's nothing to "get." Many guys are prepared to act like total asses in affairs of the heart. They prey on woman - ... (read in full...)
This seems unfair to me. Is this how things work in the restaurant business? Is my Supervisor Biased? And what can I do?
Q. I have been working at a restaurant for about 3 months now. I'm still considered a "trainee" because I haven't passed the written exam. Therefore I only receive a maximum of 10% of total gratuity per shift. If there is more than one "trainee...
A. 26 February 2013: I'd be interested to learn if your duties change following a success at the exam that you mention. Yes? No?
In my experience, the tipping situation that you've described is related to busboys/food deliverers versus waiters/... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my BF is telling the truth or not? What lengths will some men go to, to tell lies?
Q. How can you tell if your boyfriend is tellin the truth whether a "friend" is just a friend orwhether he has slept with her. He denies anything happened that hey were just friends. I somehow believe him, just want to know to what lenths will you ...
A. 26 February 2013: There are just about no limits to what a man will say to get a woman to put out (or CONTINUE to put out) for him...
(This also applies to SOME women.... but it's believed to be more widespread in men... since women have got the "prize"...)
IF ... (read in full...)
Was he tired, confused, emotional for some reason. or just forgetful when he use the name of his ex, (instead of my name), when he spoke to me?
Q. The other day my boyfriend called me by his ex's name. He was making me laugh because I had been previously upset with a family member. All of a sudden while he was telling me a joke he used her name instead of mine. He was with her for three ye...
A. 26 February 2013: A single slip-of-the-tongue, such as you've described, should get an immediate "pass"... in the form of ignoring it, or of making some glib remark about it.... and then be forgotten....
Repeated slips of the tongue will/would/could tell you some... (read in full...)
What can I do about the double standards in my family? All my siblings are adults, yet as the eldest more is expected of me.
Q. I hate being the eldest. If my siblings want me to do a favour, I get screamed and yelled at. But if I need a favour from my siblings, my parents don't care at all. They tell me it's my problem and instead yell me to shut up. I'm sick to bit...
A. 26 February 2013: I don't think that anything like "double standards" need be considered...
From what I read, your family is in to quibbling amongst themselves. YOU seem to have agreed to take part (in that quibbling).... HOWEVER, you can decide to STOP particip... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to have fallen for him? He's 17!
Q. Hi this is a tough one, Im a 27 year old woman and i recently started back at college in september last year, I became close friends with a 17 year old boy we have become really close we get along so well and have same interests and hobbies our ...
A. 25 February 2013: Are you crazy? Any teen of 17 years would be ECSTATIC to bed a woman of such advanced years as you!!! Go for it! Reciprocate!!! Make him YOUR's!!!!!!!
Good luck....
P.S. Any chance your grandmother is still available?... (read in full...)
What girls mean when they say and how to work on to show how good I am?
Q. hi little about me : (not boasting) I am confident, easy to approach and Like jokes and talented. I play sports (four currently at campus) , write , and down to earth and honest. Helpful and kind with people. I have lots of other hobbies to...
A. 25 February 2013: Sounds to me like she's out-hard-to-getted you!!!!! Is she as humble about herself as you are?????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why won't my amazing, lovely wife have sex with me with the lights on?
Q. My wife is amazing in bed,even after 20+ years together,3 kids I still think she has a fantastic figure,the only problem is she still won't have sex with light on,let me me see her naked or have sex in daytime,I keep telling she's got a lovely ...
A. 25 February 2013: I'm guessing that it's because she has a tattoo of an old boyfriend's name.... someplace strategic and near to you-know-where!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
The one thing I always wanted was passion. Just broke up. Am I asking too much? Wanting passion in a relationship?
Q. I was wondering if the idea of real romance like in the movies is really impossible to find in relationships? Of course I realize they are only movies but a girl can dream right? I always hated romance movies because I think yeah right! But ther...
A. 25 February 2013: Movies are contrived; Life is not. Go figger....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I don't want to divorce. Yet what can I do? Since retiring my husband likes to behave like a bachelor.
Q. I am a 55 year and a working adult. My marriage was never and easy one because our was a arranged marriage. I have been married for 35 year. My spouse is a highly egoistic character. Since day one i was not able to communicate with my husband....
A. 25 February 2013: You write: "...I don't want to go for divorce at this age. Pls advise. Thanks ..."
Reminds me of a question I saw in an advice column some time ago. The writer said that she wanted to go to law school and, possibly, become a trial lawyer. ... (read in full...)
I thought he was the one. How could I have been so wrong?
Q. We were together for a year. We connected on so many levels (emotionally, intellectually, physical intimacy). I've had many relationships before. I've even been married once. Never have I been so happy as I was with him. He broke up with me on the ...
A. 25 February 2013: I'm curious... What "level" were you on?.... and which "level" was the next one?
Sign me: Curious........ (read in full...)
How can I resolve the fact that I am torn between the man I love and what I think will make me happy in the long run?
Q. My partner is 30 and I am 20, we love each other and I think he is my soulmate. I just wish I had met him 10 years ago and things would have been different. He has two kids with his ex and they live with her. He visits them in the holidays and...
A. 25 February 2013: Ella: There's nothing "wrong" with a 20-year-old woman meeting and falling in love with a 30-year-old man... Probably happens more than you'd imagine....
The greater question, in my eyes, is YOUR rather immature reaction to the dynamics of what ... (read in full...)
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