Body dysmorphic disorder
Q. So my problem is I am ugly....I have spent lots of money on therapy for BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder), but it just seems that a duck is a duck. I am ugly and that's that, but I feel like I'm gorgeous. So I'm a duck that thinks its a swan...any ...
A. 9 September 2013: Go look at Lizzie Velazquez's Facebook page and/or web site,.... and see how SHE handled a situation which sounds much like your's....
SHE (Lizzie) has more beauty in either of her little fingers than many of the "hot, party" girls on this - a... (read in full...)
Ex back in contact -- any way to tell if he's sincere?
Q. Me and my ex have been separated for two years, he contacted me a year after I didn't want to know, a year later I added him on Facebook. He said he was happy to hear for me and doesn't want to break contact again, then endlessly apologised for his ...
A. 9 September 2013: This classic guy-behaviour is meticulously described in the "Book of Guyism".... in a chapter titled: "OK, so you screwed up and she dumped you.... but that doesn't have to mean that you can't try a new, sincere-sounding opener with the possibility ... (read in full...)
Maybe a bit of anger would help me stick up for myself?
Q. This might sound like a weird question but I feel like I CANT get mad at my boyfriend. We will get in fights and he will have done something where I will be mad at first but then throughout the fight he somehow convinces me that I am in the wrong. ...
A. 9 September 2013: You write: " I feel like I CANT get mad at my boyfriend."
I would suggest that you consider how you would handle things if'n you had written this:
"I get mad at my B/F - for something/whatever - and he convinces me that I ought not be mad... (read in full...)
Who takes off the condom after sex?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I've been sleeping with my boyfriend for a few months now, and we always use a condom. Thing is, it kind of gets awkward when it's time to remove the condom. After the act, I always remove the condom for him and wipe the mes...
A. 9 September 2013: Since you asked....
I always put on and take off the condom. That is because I am so well-endowed - hence the condom is SO TIGHT - that none of my girls is strong enough to stretch the thing sufficiently to get it on, or off!!!!!
Thanks for as... (read in full...)
My ex and I have become FWB, he says he wants more but I'm not sure??
Q. I know this will sound incredibly stupid, and reckless but I have been having a purely sexual relationship with my ex and the father of my two children. I know people say it all the time, but it really did just happen. We had taken our childr...
A. 9 September 2013: To provide a good and complete answer to your query, I consulted the "Guys' Book of what a "FWB" is all about".
In it, I learned this: 'IF you can find a girl who is agreeable to being your FWB, then you have got it all... a girl who will put... (read in full...)
Virginity and losing it..how do you know when you are ready?
Q. I'm 19 and a 2nd year varsity student... I've been in a relationship with this guy for over 2 years now... He loves me and treats me like a queen. We are both virgins and we are considering having sex. I would just like some sort of guidance as 2 ...
A. 9 September 2013: When I got to 12 years old, my brother, Steve, said to me: "you mean you've never had sex???.... put your peeny in to a girl?????
At that point, I KNEW I was ready.... and I've been looking out, ever since. You should, too.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to my ex for closure?
Q. Hi everyone, so, my ex boyfriend broke up with me two months ago. It was the beginning of the summer, and he probably wanted to spend his time alone/with his friends no strings attached. During these two months I truly tried to get over him, bu...
A. 8 September 2013: WHY, WHY, WHY... would you have ANY contact with him????
The ONLY thing that could/would come of it would be that YOU would appear as desperate and grovelling..... which, incidentally, is EXACTLY what we guys need to know about you girls, such tha... (read in full...)
Does he really care for her if me and him have something that good?
Q. I know what i did was wrong but if someone can try and answer my question without the lecture I would be so grateful! I started seeing a guy from work and totally fell for him. Despite being in two serious relationships for over 3 years each time,...
A. 8 September 2013: I consulted my "Guys' book of how to keep two girls on the string" and found this:
"Once you've got two girls going for you... make sure to avoid giving any sort of definitive answers to those specific questions that they (both) are sure to ask..... (read in full...)
Can all this small talk lead to romance?
Q. I'm a University Student, and I'm taking English Literature as my Major. I meet with a beautiful classmate on my first day. (Let's call her Alice.) During our class, our Professor asks the class which writers have stood out from today's writers,...
A. 8 September 2013: When I met my current G/F we, too, sat down and discussed what couple we most matched. She said "Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara....".... and asked me what couple I thought we did, or could, match....
I told her I viewed her as Emma Bovary, ... (read in full...)
Will working keep him off those websites looking for random sex? Should I leave or stay?
Q. Hi. Been with my fiancee for a lil more than nine years. We have a four year old son together and have been living together practically since we met. We have set wedding dates and changed them several times over the years. One of the reasons it ...
A. 7 September 2013: Let's cut to the chase. You write: Trying to wait and see if working will keep his mind occupied and he will stop. I feel totally disrespected and taken for granted. What should I do?." This, after you and he have:
1. "Been together" for abou... (read in full...)
How to deal with girl always staring at me at work.
Q. What is this girl's problem? I actually hate her.? I got a new job a few months ago and the girls I started all became really good friends and left me out and they don't speak to me at all but that's okay with me cause I love my job and...
A. 7 September 2013: Whatever problem (she may have) is none of your business.
Please re9submit and include a question....... (read in full...)
I'm dating my half brother's half brother. Are we related? Is this wrong?
Q. I am dating my half brothers half brother.my half brother and I have the same mother but different fathers but now him and my boyfriend have the same father... is it wrong? are we related? please help. however, my mom will never accept it!...
A. 7 September 2013: AS I see it.... 1/2 x 1/2 = 1/4.... so that's as close as you and he could be....
On the other hand,.... if we (all) go back far enough, we've got Adam and Eve as Great, Great..... (you determine how many "greats" to use!) grandpar... (read in full...)
I feel I made an inappropriate comment on a date and that it might have put the guy off
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy and made an inappropriate comment. I mentioned it being lady's night and the ticket would be less expensive. He said, "you're saved" and I said, "not me, you." He began to laugh but more like a damn haha ...
A. 7 September 2013: Your comment IS inappropriate if the two of you always carry on analytical, stoic conversations as a matter of "course."
If the two of you are less than grim and absolutist about every word that comes out of one-another's mouth... then he should -... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is clearly attracted to my friend and its starting to bother me, what should I do?
Q. I have a dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together just over 2 years and in the last 6 months we've been spending a lot of time with another couple. One of my close friends got with a friend of his so we spend a lot of time together the 4 of ...
A. 6 September 2013: I note this phrase in your submittal: "I've asked him about it and he just laughed it off and said I was being silly ..."
In the "Guy Book of getting it on with your G/F's uber-hot best friend" there are clear instructions for this matter. ... (read in full...)
He's not that close to this girl who he used to have a crush on, so why did he get up at 5.30am to meet her at the airport?
Q. Hi everyone! I love my boyfriend we get on but sometimes he drives me crazy! We have been together 4 yrs and live together, he has a few friends but hes really close to this family who have 2 daughters! He was in the same year at school with one ...
A. 6 September 2013: Please tell us a bit more about your B/F's upbringing. Is it possible that he came from such a goofy family (his own) such that he has cleaved to this one largely to have SOME "family" in his life???? .... and, now, he's so taken with them, that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was still sleeping with his ex 4 months into our relationship, and we got engaged after 6 months! Did he only propose because it had ended with his ex?
Q. My boyfriend confessed to me that he still had a sexual relationship with his ex when we met, and that it continued until we had been together for 3-4 months. He says he cant remember but that while we were together it only happened twice. I don't ...
A. 6 September 2013: We guys have a concept which is known as "Sticking with that girl who keeps putting out for you, no matter that you've REALLY dumped her.... and you've found yet a BETTER grilfriend..." It's described in this manner:
1. You've dumped that irr... (read in full...)
My LDR makes fun of me all the time!
Q. Hey everyone, I don't know if my boyfriend thinks its funny or is just like that,he keeps making fun of me..we are in a LDR so I'm not really comfortable with him 'mocking' me all the time.. Sometimes he says things like what was that u sound lik...
A. 6 September 2013: No, you're NOT wrong. You know how you want to, and expect to, be treated.. and this character isn't measuring up.
IF you've pointed this out to him... and IF he continues... THEN you have your "answer".... i.e. He's not the guy for you. Du... (read in full...)
Should I ask my girlfriend if she enjoys sex?
Q. Lately after sex with my girlfriend i have been asking her if she enjoyed it or if she had fun. Is this bad? And i don't know why i started asking her that. Maybe i feel like she does not enjoy it? By me asking would that make her less attracted to ...
A. 6 September 2013: Yes, it's bad. ... because, what you're REALLY asking is: "Was I a good sex partner?" In time, this can actually be fatal to your's and her relationship... killing it...
Figure out how to be more confident... and let that confidence come acr... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mother won't let her son live. Isn't there a point when a parent has to let go?
Q. My boyfriends mother won't let her son live. She calls us when she's out of town (which is on the weekends)about every hour (up until 4 am!) asking if we are partying, or out drinking. We're both of age, so it shouldn't matter. We don't drink and ...
A. 6 September 2013: In any and all cases, this is HIS situation to tackle.... not yours.
That said, two questions about details come to mind:
1. Does he still live with his Mother?
2. Does he have good health insurance?
If the answer to No 1 is "yes," the... (read in full...)
What should I prepare for when visting an escort for the first time?
Q. I'm 27 years old and a virgin, and I always thought about waiting for the right girl that I liked or was into me, however I just grew impatient. I'm shy, I don't feel comfortable in myself so I feel that I'm not any girls type and not attractive to ...
A. 6 September 2013: You certainly sound a little "down," now.... but at least you still have your soul. After your incident with the hooker, there's a good chance you won't have the soul any more.... Be patient.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Online dating: How long do you wait to ask someone out on a real date?
Q. I have been messaging this girl on a dating website for 3 weeks. How long do you think I should leave it until I ask her out for a drink?...
A. 6 September 2013: 3 weeks? If you really like her,,,, then you are 20 days late....
Good luck.... (read in full...)
How can I tell if she is having an orgasm or not?
Q. I don't know when my girlfriend orgasms. right now all i can do is trust her but i would like to know if she orgasms for real or if she is faking it. When she tells me she orgasms i can't feel her contracting even if i use my fingers. only until ...
A. 5 September 2013: I can offer this, from my own experience.....
When I am making love to my lady friend....and she is about to explode in one of our/her routine orgasms.... she commences to breathing VERY HEAVILY - as if she has just run a marathon - ....and ... (read in full...)
I want to have children with a man who is experiencing it for the first time too
Q. I recently met a lovely man off a dating site. We chatted for around two months online before we met, and we've been dating for around five months. He's a little older than me, I'm 24 and he's 32 but the age gap doesn't bother either of us....
A. 5 September 2013: I think you should spend more time thinking about this phrase, from your submittal:
"...Obviously they are separated and are getting a divorce,.."
It isn't "obvious" to me.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Married four years and the sex is dismal
Q. Im in my forties my husband is 39 we have been married for 4 years i love him more than anything but we never seem to have sex it feels like he doesn't want to do anything with me and i feel lonely and unloved and im thinking he doesn't fancy me or ...
A. 5 September 2013: Here is a reprint of a reply I made, just the other day, to a woman who submitted with the same problem that you hae...
I have opined about this subject in the past; and will give you my abridged version, herein:
IF two people have widely v... (read in full...)
Happily married men: when did you know you wanted your wife to be your wife?
Q. Question for the happily married men out there : when did you know your wife was "the one?". Did she have to push you to take the next step - or did you ask her? (whether it be moving in, marriage, or baby) I brought up the "next step" (moving ...
A. 4 September 2013: For this inquiry, I consulted my reference book entitled "Guys' book of those who have dodged the "marriage" bullet for many years"... and found THIS in the chapter titled, "for those who've made it to their 40s".... (quote):
"Cong... (read in full...)
How do I comfort him without looking nosy?
Q. Hi I've liked a guy for about 12 months now. We have said hi (the small talk) and he makes me laugh. His girlfriend of 10 months broke up with him like 5 minutes ago ( found out on facebook) I know its wrong to go after him but I want to comfort him ...
A. 4 September 2013: I checked my reference book titled "How a girl can comfort a guy who has just been dumped by his G/F"... and found this:
If a girl learns that you have just been dumped by your "old" girlfriend,... and she wants to "comfort" you... the concensu... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me like his personal assistant! Advice?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost a year. He treats me like his personal assistant, and I am finally sticking up for myself. But he is so sensitive that when i do he acts like Im hurting his feelings. For instance he wants me to make and cancel ...
A. 4 September 2013: P.S. Good "personal assistants" get paid from $80,000 to $150,000 per year!!!! Ask him if you can get on his payroll!!!!!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend treats me like his personal assistant! Advice?
Q. I've been dating this guy for almost a year. He treats me like his personal assistant, and I am finally sticking up for myself. But he is so sensitive that when i do he acts like Im hurting his feelings. For instance he wants me to make and cancel ...
A. 4 September 2013: Let's focus on this sentence in your submittal:
"We rarely go out and when we do I am usually picking up the tab.."
I consulted my "Guys' Book of how to take advantage of women in every possible way"... and found THIS in the chapter titled "... (read in full...)
I don't want to get too serious, too soon.
Q. I'm 30 and in a relationship of around 4 months. We both have busy work schedules so have been seeing each other at weekends and in the week if we can. As we were getting to know each other, this was fine, but now I am starting to feel a bit lonely ...
A. 4 September 2013: Let's focus on this phrase in our submittal:
"He has made comments that in the future he may well decide to go back to drinking more heavily with his old drinking buddies. ...."
According to "The Guys' book of Justifying Anything that yo... (read in full...)
I know very little about post menopause!
Q. I'm in my late forties, and recently I have been seeing a very nice woman in her mid fifties. We haven't slept together, but the relationship looks like it's heading towards that level of intimacy (I hope!). I assume that given her age she is proba...
A. 4 September 2013: I looked this up in the "Guys' Book of whatever you need to know about women, depending on where they are in the life-cycle" Under "post-menopausal" it has this:
"If'n you find you may end up in an intimate situation with a post-men... (read in full...)
Why is my height so unattractive?
Q. I have been rejected by hundreds of girls offline and thousands of girls online and have lost heart and all sense of my 'physical' self-esteem. It is very difficult to remain confident after that. My track record keeps me from trying now as I have ...
A. 4 September 2013: The women who have made replies to your query seemed to have covered the entire spectrum of reasons why you are not getting dates. In an effort to check if they had overlooked any information that is available, I went to my library and checked with ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling excluded from meeting his child and wondering if there's more to his relationship with the child's mother
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months has a 2-year-old child with another woman. This woman won't allow him to take the child out of her sight. She also won't allow him to bring me around, so he has to drive up there (1.5 hours away) every Saturday to see her ...
A. 4 September 2013: You ask: "Is this situation relatively normal?"
No, it's not. AND, it smacks of him caring 'way more for his EX- (The daughter is just a convenient excuse!), than for you....
I suggest that you extricate yourself from this situation, now, ... (read in full...)
Frustrated by our differing sex drives -- am I being unreasonable?
Q. My bf and I have been together for 2 years. We're both in our early 30s. We only see each other on weekends when he comes over to my house to spend the weekend as he lives an hour away. He's never been very sexual, even at the beginning. He te...
A. 4 September 2013: No. You are not being unreasonable. I have opined about this subject in the past; and will give you my abridged version, herein:
IF two people have widely varying sexual appetites, it is almost impossible for them to have a successful and sati... (read in full...)
Dating a man who treats me right but who I dont' find attractive enough. Help!
Q. I know this is shallow but I can only get myself to put in an effort with a guy if I find him good looking.. I'm in a relationship with this guy for 4 months,I don't find him all that attractive, he's a pretty decent looking guy but when women co...
A. 4 September 2013: Since you are only interested in the packaging.... you must resign yourself that you've got to part ways with this guy.....
Then, you can go out and find yourself that gorgeous guy who you would like to date.... (he can be YOUR "arm candy"; ... (read in full...)
I finished a relationship with a divorcee because he is too tied to his family and I was a secret to his children. Why does he keep in contact with me?
Q. I had a mind blowing intense, although only 4 months in length relationship with a divorced man. I am also divorced. We both have kids from our previous marriages. There was a lot of chemistry and tenderness between us and we were both happy to have ...
A. 4 September 2013: Let's focus on this passage, from your submittal:
"...What is really the point in these txt messages. It's like we speak, but say nothing..? Is it just a slow way of letting go, or is there any hope? Do I move on and stop communicating all toge... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go on holiday with his mate and 2 female friends... without me. Am I wrong to feel this is inappropriate?
Q. Hi, just a quick question as I am really in need of others' opinions. My boyfriend recently asked me how I would feel about him going on a holiday for a week with one of his male friends and two female friends. Is this inappropriate for someone in a ...
A. 4 September 2013: Here's a passage from "The Guys' Book of Justifying Whatever we do, no matter how destructive it is to our Relationship"..... (quote):
"If you arrange a rendezvous/vacation with a mate and a couple of babes.... and you tell your "squeeze" about it... (read in full...)
Is my fiance selfish? He wanted sex when I was ill and complained when he didn't get it.
Q. I was sick for three days during the week and had a stomach ache all three days. I ended up being very tired and going to bed early and even taking a nap during the day. My fiance wanted a midweek romp and not just a weekly, but I was sick. Nor...
A. 3 September 2013: According to the pamphlet "Why girls should put out for guys under any circumstances"..... there is NO REASON why a man should forego sex with "his" woman.... until and unless, she has succumbed to some terrible disease or trauma that has left her ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 3 September 2013: Since seeing the response from the OP:
You CAN'T make "wrong" right by doing it so much that the rules change!!!! "Wrong" is wrong... Right is right.... and never will the "twain" meet!!!!!
All you will do, by justifying what you (and she) do... (read in full...)
I like her, but she is going through a divorce and I'm confused
Q. I'll try to make this quick. I'm 33, I met this girl(mid 30's) who I would see occasionally at her work when I stopped by there. I'm kinda shy and she was always busy so we didn't talk much. I got her number, texted her but her responses seemed ...
A. 2 September 2013: She's got a lot "on her plate" right now. How about leaving her alone for at least six months?.... then, see if you don't have a "chance" encounter, at her work (how you originally connected with her)... and let THAT be your entre to see if she: ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to text a FWB every day?
Q. I am recently out of a relationship, but I would still like to find a guy to have a no strings attached kind of relationship. I have met this person I think. I think he may actually care about me which is great and makes me only not sure what is ...
A. 2 September 2013: AuntyEm: Are you sure you're not a guy? Where (else) would you get all that confidential information that you had to have available in order to give that great response to this submittal?????... (read in full...)
Is there really sex after 50?
Q. I have such a dilemma, I can't figure it out what goes on with sex in the older age group. It is because, sadly me and my husband are not sexual anymore , due to his erectile dysfunction, and lack of libido. It has been investigated by doctors, ...
A. 2 September 2013: As one of the old fossils who has figured out how to have a sexual/intimate life... even at my advanced age.... I can assure you that I, my lucky lady friend, and those in the circle(s) in which I socialize... enjoy pretty active sexual lives..... ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to text a FWB every day?
Q. I am recently out of a relationship, but I would still like to find a guy to have a no strings attached kind of relationship. I have met this person I think. I think he may actually care about me which is great and makes me only not sure what is ...
A. 1 September 2013: Since "FWB" is a difficult-to-describe arrangement, it is OK for you and your prospective "F" to make up whatever rules you (two) wish..... I have checked my "Book of being a Guy".... and the page for "FWB rules" is blank.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?
Q. My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...
A. 31 August 2013: I like your spirit. She cheated on you.... so you level things off by cheating on her....she learns of that, re-cheats.... you learn; cheat again, .. etc, etc.... ad infinitum.
Great way to have a "relationship"!!!! Unfortunately, cheating... (read in full...)
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