A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a dilemma. My boyfriend and I have been together just over 2 years and in the last 6 months we've been spending a lot of time with another couple. One of my close friends got with a friend of his so we spend a lot of time together the 4 of us. The problem is my boyfriend is taking a very keen interest in my friend and while at first it didn't bother me (she's a very attractive girl but is a nice person too), it's now becoming very obvious and is making me feel uncomfortable. We went out for drinks with them last weekend and my boyfriend said about 5 times how pretty she is and he wasn't surprised she got so much attention out as she's beautiful, then went on to say she's a great person too and spent about 10 minutes telling me why she is such a catch! Then on Tuesday we went for dinner with them and he sat opposite her and spent the whole night staring at her and talking to her, while practically ignoring me! When she went to the toilet he spent the whole time looking in the direction of the toilets, clearly eagerly awaiting her return. I'm not a jealous person at all but it is starting to bother me now. He's started asking to see them all the time and when we were talking about some other friends of ours he kept accidentally calling our other friend by her name! I've asked him about it and he just laughed it off and said I was being silly but I know I'm not! I don't know what to do, she's a very close friend and I don't want to stop seeing her but he's making me feel like I should.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (7 September 2013):
 I agree with everyone on the panel. He is definitely interested in your friend. I hope for the friendship's sake that your friend does not return the attention he is giving her. If she does, then you've got to walk away from both of them until you can accept and eventually forgive them both.
I have a friend whose sister ended up stealing her boyfriend. There were tears and gnashing of teeth all round, but when the dust settled (it took a couple of years), my friend finally forgave her sister and the boyfriend. The sister and the boyfriend ended up getting married, and my friend was the maid of honour at the wedding. My friend found someone else who was much better suited for her...so in the end, it all worked out.
A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (6 September 2013):
Sugarplum couldn't have said it any better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): Dump the a-hole. He will be like this with every attractive woman that comes into his view. Guys don't change, but you can change boyfriends and trade up to a boyfriend that will treat you with respect.
Don't let this affect your self esteem.
Keep your friendship with your gal pal. Friends are worth their weight in gold.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): He obviously has feelings for her! I think u should tell him where to go! How would he like it if it was u behaving like this! X
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 He has a major crush/interest in your friend. Sorry but you came here to hear the truth.
You need a break from this relationship. You are not second best and don't let him make you feel that way. No point discussing or fighting over it as it will end in a bigger mess. Walkaway from this relationship. Remember if you truly meant more to him, he will fight to get you back.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 I note this phrase in your submittal: "I've asked him about it and he just laughed it off and said I was being silly ..."
In the "Guy Book of getting it on with your G/F's uber-hot best friend" there are clear instructions for this matter. It sez: "Your G/F might notice that you are so taken with her hot woman friend that you are behaving like a love-sick puppy whenever you are in her company. Your G/F might notice this, and mention it to you.... IF/when she does, you must poo-poo her concerns by LAUGHING IT OFF (!), AND TELLING HER THAT SHE'S BEING SILLY"
"This will usually get you past the matter... HOWEVER, if it doesn't (if G/F recognizes your hollow protestations) then you're screwed, and it's time to start looking for your NEXT girlfriend...."
Hope this helps.....
Good luck....
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