How to give a married man the brush off without causing offence?
Q. To keep it brief, a married man who works in the same field as me has been flirting and inappropriate since an event a few months ago. I have no intention of doing anything untoward and keep steering things back to a professorial level in our ...
A. 8 October 2013: You ask: "how do I give him a polite brush off that isn't going to make either of us embarrassed?"
You don't have to worry a whit about embarrassing him. HE'S MARRIED!!! Any "advance" or inappropriate measure that he takes toward you... E... (read in full...)
Is this cheating on me? He says he's just making her feel good about herself.
Q. I was allowed to see communication between boyfriend and an old colleague. It was sent after we became exclusive. He talked of how hot he still found her and how she still tuirns him on and when they would meet to see where this would lead them. He ...
A. 5 October 2013: Good for you,. OrchidRose..... I hope things go much better for you.... in every way,... in the future....... (read in full...)
Is this cheating on me? He says he's just making her feel good about herself.
Q. I was allowed to see communication between boyfriend and an old colleague. It was sent after we became exclusive. He talked of how hot he still found her and how she still tuirns him on and when they would meet to see where this would lead them. He ...
A. 5 October 2013: I think he's made it perfectly clear that he is still "carrying a torch" for this girl from his past... AND, he believes that he can get a little $ex from her.... which he might NOT have gotten in the past.... AND, she sounds like quite a tart ("... ... (read in full...)
Need ideas on birthday present for boyfriend of 2 months.
Q. Hey! So I'd like some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and it's his 21st birthday next month and I don't know what to get him. We haven't been together long so I wasn't going to make a deal and get him something ridiculo...
A. 5 October 2013: I think you are right "on target" for your gift-giving... after all, you've only known this guy for a couple of months.... so being TOO extravagent is premature and inappropriate.....
If'n I were in your situation... I'd get him the cookie, ... (read in full...)
I am 5 months pregnant and I don't trust my boyfriend going to parties getting drunk.
Q. I'm 5 months pregnant and feeling very stressed out. I'm in a relationship with someone I love very much. We have been arguing all week and its starting to really get me down, the main reason we are arguing is this.... Basically on Monday he told me ...
A. 5 October 2013: I can understand perfectly. Let me re-state to you what I understand.....
1. You are 5 months pregnant.
2. Your "boyfriend" is an a$$hole... and continues to behave like one, despite all the reasons that he SHOULDN'T act like one (an a$$... (read in full...)
I am bringing bad luck to my boyfriends.
Q. Hello, I have a strange problem and I really hope I can find any answer for it or somebody who is having the same. So, everytime I fall in love and have a relation with some boy, he starts to have so much bad luck (for example lost work, broken lap...
A. 5 October 2013: While the "glib" answer is.... that you are probably a witch.... The REAL answer is that you are seeing a whole bunch of coincidences.... and trying to personalize them. Forget that.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Hurt and broken over an online relationship
Q. Dear cupid Im talking abt the same guy i found out has a gf a year ago. An online relationship that i wrote about that was hurting me and later realised that all along was a lie. im completely to be blamed for staying in this relationshio although...
A. 4 October 2013: Angel: CALM DOWN!!!! There are oodles of times that some guy hurts some girl.... and NO GIRL ought to make herself over some guy who has proven to be a complete a$$hole!!!!
You, Lady, are entitled to your sore feelings.... BUT, now, pick you... (read in full...)
What's the difference between dating and being "in a relationship"?
Q. I don't think I was ever told the difference between dating, exclusive dating, and being in a relationship with someone. I think I have an idea, but I would like some more opinions, so guys and gals answer away!...
A. 4 October 2013: FA: I have a full library of any/all "books" that may - or may NOT - have all the advice that men may need in their dealings with women....
Since those "books" are elusive - even vaporous - you.... and any other of the guys on DC who need adv... (read in full...)
What's the difference between dating and being "in a relationship"?
Q. I don't think I was ever told the difference between dating, exclusive dating, and being in a relationship with someone. I think I have an idea, but I would like some more opinions, so guys and gals answer away!...
A. 4 October 2013: I checked this out in my "Guys' book of what words mean"... and found this:
"Dating" is when the guy picks up the check; "in a relationship" is when you "go Dutch"....
Hope this clarifies this matter for you...... (read in full...)
He's always back and forth on how he feels about me. How should I handle this?
Q. Any advice appreciated! I met a guy about 6 weeks ago on a night out. He was really into me, asked for my number and was texting a lot. It came out that he hadn't long been dumped so I kept my distance but started to like him through spending time ...
A. 4 October 2013: Guys vascillate because that are looking for that girl who will put out NOW..... and the back-and-forth happens because there is one (or more) who has struck our fancy... and we have to pique her interest sufficiently that she doesn't go away... and ... (read in full...)
If you were me, would you try and approach this girl and potentially harm a maybe happy household? Or would you simply forget about it and move on?
Q. For about five years iv always had a small crush on the girl who works in my local post office, we would often flirt and smile a lot when we talked, she is about 2 years younger than me at 24. I have never persued it though as I have always been in ...
A. 4 October 2013: I vote for "forget (her) and move on..."
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How can I regain my body confidence and make my husband find me sexy again after giving birth?
Q. I've been with my husband for 5 years and we have a 13 week old daughter together. I have a real big problem with sex since I've had my daughter I feel disgusting and so ugly! I've lost the baby weight but my stomach looks gross saggy, ...
A. 4 October 2013: Great hubby you've got, there!!!!
How about, you tell him to knock off the porn... pay attention to YOU (and your daughter).... AND that he pray that YOU don't dump his sorry, immature a$s and look for, or find, a REAL MAN who understands just the... (read in full...)
What to do to get her back or to forget her?
Q. i need tip to get her back or to forget her? When i was in highschool i met this girl and we become friends instantly after some time i fell in love with her. But since i was leaving town after that year i just suppressed my feelings. But even Aft...
A. 4 October 2013: Forget this girl and spend a LOT MORE time studying (Re: "... i am in med school and am flunking subjects...")
There is NO GIRL... i don't care WHO she is... how beautiful, how rich, how personable.... who is WORTH you f**king up your studies ... (read in full...)
Do women really want on FWB relationships?
Q. someone just told me the new "in" thing was fwb. The lady i was talking to said even women wanted this now. Why? is because men were I think she meant men were not that nice. I know per my recent post I think I have become that..but i do not ...
A. 3 October 2013: Your submittal is an interesting observation and opinion of social/sexual dynamics. To wit: "...said even women wanted this (FWB) now..." Makes it sound as if only men ever want - or wanted - uncommitted sex in the past....
Likely situatio... (read in full...)
Suffering erectile dysfunction. Would it be wrong to encourage my wife to take lovers?
Q. I become unable to perform with a full erection. My wife thinks that I no longer want her and am gay or at least bi-sexual.I get very excited thinking about and talking about her having a sexual encounter with another man. She is using topical ...
A. 3 October 2013: From your description (of EVERYTHING) it "sounds" to me as if you are willing to walk in to that minefield of open marriage/sexuality (read: "I get very excited thinking about and talking about her having a sexual encounter with another man.") ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend watch chubby porn even though he says he's not attracted to larger women?
Q. Hi Ok my my boyfriend (30yrs) and I have been together for a year. He watches porn, which I'm ok with - most of the time! He told me a couple of months ago that he sometimes watches chubby (or BBW) porn. He said it makes it seem more real like the...
A. 2 October 2013: One of the nice aspects of pornography is that one who seeks and participates in it can cast off all of his/her reality, and partake of any and every FANTASY that he/she may have......
In the case of your question, it's entirely plausible that you... (read in full...)
Married man got caught. Would he lie to me about this?
Q. Are there any reasons why a married man would lie to his mistress about getting caught by his wife? NO judgements please........ He was caught over the weekend and told me they were having a major fight and that he would get in touch with me. I d...
A. 2 October 2013: The reasons for this man to lie are practically endless....
I wouldn't begin to suggest that they (those reasons) could be listed herein, except with an inordiately-long "response" to you.....
What you need to consider is that lying is second-na... (read in full...)
My potential partner is showing poor judgement with a popular bank scam!
Q. I'm lesbian and there's this lady I'm talking to, nothing serious n we r not dating. It's been a month now. Today she did something really stupid which got me now questioning her intelligence, I always questioned it which is why I wanted to develop ...
A. 2 October 2013: Sounds as if your friend is taking part in a proverbial "slow train wreck".... and that she is determined to continue in to that wreck, despite the overwhelming evidence - otherwise - that you are trying to get her to see.....
My/our advice? ... (read in full...)
Getting frustrated at the way he's treating me
Q. Dear Cupid I work in same office as of my bf of 3 years. Lately he was vey busy at work, lots of work load as he was trying for promotion. As he was busy at work, he stopped even being civil to me, its like i dont even exist for him. Its bee...
A. 2 October 2013: Do you and he live together?... (read in full...)
Former FWB situation--am I just too available for him?
Q. I am love with my best friend. I lived with him for a year and helped him through some tough health issues including cancer. We were friends with benefits and had a great time, playing, laughing, teasing. Then a girl came back from his past and was ...
A. 2 October 2013: You write: " (I'm)...Afraid if I am unavailable, that I will betray him like he feels other women have done."
SO WHAT???? His toying with you and your feelings and emotions ENTITLES HIM to some "betrayal" by you.... IN FACT, that ("betray... (read in full...)
Former FWB situation--am I just too available for him?
Q. I am love with my best friend. I lived with him for a year and helped him through some tough health issues including cancer. We were friends with benefits and had a great time, playing, laughing, teasing. Then a girl came back from his past and was ...
A. 1 October 2013: chica/OP: The moment you act like a "FWB" with a guy, you change the dynamics, such that HE has all he wants.... YOU have little, or nothing of what you want.... and HE is in total control.....
IF you really want a "boyfriend" you have to ACT l... (read in full...)
He said sex was "alright". what does that mean?
Q. New guy asked me what I think about the sex we had I said it was good/great. His response how he feels was " it's. Alright". What's that suppose to mean? He is the dominate sex partner if it's not good enough he should do more to make it good. I ...
A. 1 October 2013: I looked up "alright" in my "Guys' book of se*ual lexicon"...
It said, ""Alright," means that the lady was adequate... (and) offered you a soft, warm, moist place to put Mr Happy... but didn't turn you on like a $150 hooker"..... It's best to ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that she wants to get herself off after sex?
Q. I'm 36, I've been married to my wife for 3 years and we never had any big sex-related problem or issue. Since a few months ago I started noticing that she was not satisfied anymore after we were done in bed. Not that she would tell me before, but ...
A. 1 October 2013: I consulted my "Guy" book about this.... the chapter titled, "You have to be a real MAN to satisfy your woman... and THAT may mean giving her oral pleasure, above and beyond what you thought was necessary".....
Would you like me to send you a co... (read in full...)
Any advice on regaining some sort of power in a casual relationship?
Q. Hi, I find myself in a bad situation, the classic casual hook up turned messy. I am seeing a younger man casually (I didnt think there was a future in it because of the age difference) and now I am having the usual problems associated with ...
A. 1 October 2013: You can't ("regain power").....
You've put out for him.... so he's gotten all that he wanted.... AND WILL get more from you (as long as you acquiesce to be a tart for him!!!!).....
IF you want to change the dynamics of this situation, you h... (read in full...)
A friend dropped off the grid. I value privacy too highly to charge in uninvited.
Q. I am in my mid 30s and is a secret introvert. However, as the coach at a popular UK University Sports Society, I end up going out most nights. I have a rule, Sundays are mine. Mine alone. Without it, I would be lost and be unable to cope with ...
A. 1 October 2013: Are you Rick Petino?????? .... and you're just to ashamed to admit that you've thrown your loyalties to Louisville??????
I was one of your classmates (along with "Dr J") and watched you and John Betancourt as the UMass backcourt....
Dan... (read in full...)
New to sex and finding it uncomfortable. Any advice?
Q. Sup everyone. So I lost my virginity a few days ago with this girl I'm in a LTR with. We ended up having sex twice that night, and once more yesterday. The thing is I'm having issues/weird feelings while having sex. This might get graphic but this ...
A. 30 September 2013: Take it from this stud, who routinely gets his girls to "....make her buckwild and shiver with oral/fingering techniques (and other things!)..." The lube is going to turn MAGIC in your lovemaking!!!!
Good luck....
P.S. Don't be cheap... get ... (read in full...)
How late is too late to start dating in the modern world?
Q. How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never been on a date before, never had sex, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due to many combi...
A. 30 September 2013: The "start date" for dating can really be a vague and hard-to-pin-down detail.......
Here in Florida, where so many of us dinosaurs live.... many (of us) lose a mate (to death) so have to "start" over well in to our late/last years. Can you beli... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in expecting my boyfriend to spend less time with his friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old. He is the love of my life and the best person I have been with. We both always say how Much we love each other and have stated we want a future together. We are both saving at the moment but are thinking of ...
A. 30 September 2013: It's ironic that the Earth keeps circling around the Sun... and THAT gives you your "age." You say that you and this guy are 28. That ONLY means that you and he have been around the Sun that many times....
Meanwhile, there is ANOTHER "age"...... (read in full...)
Together for over 5 years and yet we hardly see each other. Is moving in together the best way to improve the relationship?
Q. Should I move in with my boyfriend even though we hardly see each other? We have been together for over 5 years, but due to his work schedule and social commitments, we see each other once a week at the most. I don't feel we are 'serious' enough to ...
A. 30 September 2013: I think he's trying to get you to be available for sex.... and not much more is likely to come of it....
Sounds terribly one-sided, to me....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Will it cause problems with my fellow lifeguards if I ask him out?
Q. I work as a life guard in a indoor pool and I'm very attracted to one guy who started swimming there. He is tall dark and handsome and very sociable. There is one issue though, whenever I talk to him I find myself glancing down at his body and ...
A. 29 September 2013: What's to worry about????? We guys have been gawking at you girls' breast since the beginning of time... all the while claiming that we were carrying on a conversation with you!!! Ha!!!!! Turn-about IS fair play!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, on top of that we are of different religions.
Q. I am 23 years old and am a doctor. I am in india. I am in love with my boyfriend for 5years our relationship has been fine except for a few ups and downs . During the first year of our college my bf was dating a classmate of ours they then stopped ...
A. 29 September 2013: WOW, Intrigued.... Your's is a great response.... and is probably EXACTLY what the OP needs to hear!!!!! Now, let's hope that she reads, and follows, your advice....... (read in full...)
How much should I dress up or make up for my FWB?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I have a fwb with this guy who I really fancy! He knows How much I fancy him, but we both know it will not become anything more. I'm just wondering how much effort should I or shouldn't I be putting in into our sexy time? I...
A. 29 September 2013: Girls who believe that "FWB" is anything other than "FWB" are deluding themselves...
Guys are only "visual creatures" when they are pursuing a woman who either doesn't exist.... or one who they think might put out.....
YOU, have clearly ind... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend's ex is pregnant. How do I handle this?
Q. I am a 22 year old girl who has a 27 year old boyfriend of one month. It basically took us 3 months to actually become an item, we are so alike yet different, I guess that's why we connect, love each other dearly. Our worst fear is losing each ...
A. 28 September 2013: ..."pregnant" ... by WHOM??????... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to do this in sex?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months now. When we make love I am very satisfied however he enjoys masturbating onto my face or into my mouth. I just don't get it. Why do guys think this is so great?...
A. 21 September 2013: Do you remember how that guy in the audience, in Baghdad, threw his shoe at Prez Geo W Bush, a few years back? THAT is how - in the Muslim world - a person can express his great disdain at another person.....
What you described your guy doing is... (read in full...)
I am scared to leave him after he said that he would kill himself.
Q. im in need of advice. i been with a guy for over 6 years and is been a roller coaster, i sometimes was happy sometimes wasnt, we dont live together but that was the plan to move in together, we met in new york but his choice of living was florida ...
A. 21 September 2013: Don't let him blackmail you in this manner. YOU don't "owe" him a darn thing.... and WHATEVER he might do to himself belongs to HIM - not YOU....
Leave him alone (in Florida)... get on with YOUR OWN life... and don't give it a second thought!... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl needs a cigarette after sex.
Q. What does it mean if a girl said right after sex: "after this I definitely need a cigarette". We met last week and had sex for the 1st time last night. Does it mean she enjoyed it? The issue is that she hasn't called or responded to my text. Tha...
A. 21 September 2013: Was the "cigarette" tobacco? ..... or, did it smell like burning rope?????... (read in full...)
How can a man say we will always be great friends, then he loves me in the same breath?
Q. Hello all! I am a 43 year old woman who, (after 2.5) years of being single, have met a 46 year old man who is a wonderful match for me. We laugh, and have a killer intimate relationship... We've been seeing each other for about 4.5 months now, ...
A. 21 September 2013: My "Guy Textbook" has a chapter on just this behaviour. The title of that chapter is: "Keep her on the hook for sex.... letting her know that - even if you and she don't become or remain "an item".... then, you and she can - and WILL - remain ... (read in full...)
URGENT adivce: is this too weird or should I just leave it?
Q. So the story, I need your honest opinion- I know its long, but you need to understand the context if it all. We're in our mid 20s and have been studying together for the last year and a half. We're not friends but we're friendly- we have done gro...
A. 21 September 2013: P.S. I've made a total a$$ of myself MANY times, in my vain attempts to get hot girls to notice me!!!!... (read in full...)
URGENT adivce: is this too weird or should I just leave it?
Q. So the story, I need your honest opinion- I know its long, but you need to understand the context if it all. We're in our mid 20s and have been studying together for the last year and a half. We're not friends but we're friendly- we have done gro...
A. 21 September 2013: IN matters of the heart.... and attempting to get the attention of that girl/guy who you fancy.... NOTHING is to be considered "too weird"...... Go for it.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
It's a success story regarding my relationship with a divorced teacher, now my friend wants to do the same.
Q. In 2009, I posted a question on dearcupid regarding my relationship with a married high school teacher of mine. We had an affair, broke it off when I moved east for university from my hometown in the Midwest, and he then filed for divorce and moved ...
A. 21 September 2013: You invite her out for a cup of coffee, or a Margarita... and you say to her:
"Best friend, I am flattered that you are planning to embark on the same journey as did I, regarding dating a married teacher/professor.... and you truly believe ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend liking another girl
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. I have dated a lot of guys but never felt so in love until my current boyfriend. I have never thought about a future with any guy until my current boyfriend. I am attracted to him in every way. He has such ...
A. 19 September 2013: Whoa!!! This guy has done a wonderful job of convincing you that he finds cheating to be offensive... whilest, at the same time, he is partaking of it, himself.....
Take a couple more weeks, and see if you don't/haven't learned a lot more abo... (read in full...)
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