A
female
age
30-35,
*aria.niz
writes:Hi everyone,so, my ex boyfriend broke up with me two months ago. It was the beginning of the summer, and he probably wanted to spend his time alone/with his friends no strings attached. During these two months I truly tried to get over him, but it seems like it is really impossible for me. I love him, that's it. So, now that I know he's back in town, now that I know that his summer is over, now that I know that we both will start university soon, is it wise to write him something? I wish I could get in touch, but I don't want to humilate myself more than what I have already done. So, do you think it's wise to write him? And if so, what you think I should write?It's just that I can't forget him, I can't keep him out of my head and of my heart, and I don't know what to do.thank y'all for the help, x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 September 2013):
 write the letter.... put it in an envelope. seal the envelope date it and put it away in the bottom of a drawer and forget about it for at least 2 years... then read it again.
you are still hurting and grieving a loss but there is nothing you can do or say that will change that it's over.
what's killing you is your belief that it was temporary
"It was the beginning of the summer, and he probably wanted to spend his time alone/with his friends no strings attached."
umm even if that was his reason, that's a good reason to NOT get back with him... because why would you want to be with a man who thinks you are only good enough to be his gf part of the time... when his REAL friends are not around...
it's over and done... make your peace with it as best you can as soon as you can so you can move on, he's not coming back to you no matter what you do.
A
female
reader, maria.niz +, writes (8 September 2013):
maria.niz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much.
Guess then that I am really desperate...I hope that you're right guys, I hope I will get over him someday.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2013): I'm sorry to hear you are hurting, I send you big hug and all the best. Things will get better. Breakups are difficult to get over so quickly, it is a tough phase, it's like grieving, take your time to grieve and keep your chin up. You can write him a letter if you will feel better but DON'T SEND it, destroy it after you write it, just let it out on paper then you will feel a bit better. One day you might even be glad that he broke up with you !! I remember the singer Adele saying in an interview when her boyfriend broke up with her, after the breakup she was devastated but now she is with someone who truly loves her, someone even better than the one who broke her heart. Good Luck and God bless !!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 September 2013):
 WHY, WHY, WHY... would you have ANY contact with him????
The ONLY thing that could/would come of it would be that YOU would appear as desperate and grovelling..... which, incidentally, is EXACTLY what we guys need to know about you girls, such that we can take advantage of you and find a way to continue having sex with you, indefinitely (if you don't catch on).... until/unless you come to your senses....
I suggest that you let him REMAIN your "ex-".... and that means that you don't have any contact with him....
P.S. There is a MUCH better "guy" out there, somewhere, and if you are patient, you will find him!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 September 2013):
I wouldn't... It's over and done with, so be done with it. Moving on takes time, and two months isn't all that long.
One thing that keeps people from being able to move on sometimes is questioning themselves, "what did I do wrong... Why doesn't he want me... What's wrong with me... Etc"
Accepting that it's likely none of those (unless, for example, you cheated, we're controlling or had some other obvious issue) is a big part of moving on. People break up because they weren't right for each other. Look at breaking up with a guy as a learning experience. Identify what you liked/disliked about him and keep it in mind the next time you meet someone. Hopefully someday you'll be able to find the perfect guy for you, which would only be possible with a few break ups.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 It's a good idea to write a letter, get it all out... and then shred it. It can be quite cathartic in itself, and avoids any risk of feeling humiliated if he doesn't reply.
You will get over him in time. Your thoughts about him will become less frequent as you get busier with starting University, making new friends, etc.
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