Does my unusual prefrence doom me to being alone?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I have a pretty vague question but I'll try and go into detail. I'm a 17 year old female and all my life I've only been attracted to middle aged women. I realized I was gay at about 11 years old, so I consciously knew how I ...
A. 21 July 2013: I think your submittal reveals a young woman who knows herself very well..... and who will, ultimately, have one (or more!) relationships that are fulfilling and rewarding.
As to your questions "about yourself".... I suggest that, if you were to ... (read in full...)
Anger overcame our love
Q. I was with him for 3 years. We loved and cared for each other more than anything. But now every day I hurt and I cry and I'm so sad to be without him. This initial break up happened about two months ago and since then we've spoken, yelled, ...
A. 20 July 2013: You write, "...and all I want is love. Why is that so hard?"
It's "hard" because you have chosen to fall in love with a guy who cares not a whit for - or, about - you.....
IF and WHEN you decide to focus upon a guy - any guy - who is truly i... (read in full...)
I feel unloved and unwanted in this marriage
Q. I love my husband of 10 years but for the past 6 months he has become totally disconnected from me. I am 47 and my husband is 49. We have no children. My 85 year old mom lives with us in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apt. We haven't had sex in ...
A. 20 July 2013: "Sounds" to me like he's left your marriage in every way possible... EXCEPT he hasn't left the premises.....
YOU have to decide if THIS is what a "marriage" is...
If you think "Yes, it is..." then gird yourself for 10 more years of the sam... (read in full...)
Like a fool I told my crush how I felt ...
Q. So I told my crush of 6 years I liked him and he replied "I understand. Bet you feel better now that you got that oft my chest." See he was a good friend. I was dating my ex when this guy and I met. We totally hit it off and since my bf was a truck ...
A. 20 July 2013: Your description of what has gone on between you and two different guys has me thinking of a pin-ball in an arcade machine....
YOU are the pinball.... and bounce about... with no evidence of rhyme or reason for what you do... EXCEPT that you delu... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a bad temper, what should I do
Q. I'm 27 and my boyfriend is 26. We live together and most of the time we get along very well. However, my boyfriend is extremely touchy and if I say the "wrong" thing to him he gets very angry very fast. For example: Today my boyfriend and I ...
A. 20 July 2013: Great "boyfriend" you have there. Have you considered dumping him??? "Sounds" like a good move to make about now.
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I think my b/f might ask me to marry him and I'm not ready to say yes!
Q. Hi, so me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years, and last week he announced he would be taking us on a "break" together somewhere really nice that I'd never guess... He also asked my opinion on a "ring" says that his work collegue gets ma...
A. 20 July 2013: If'n he pops the question to you ("Will you marry me?") you are under no obligation to say "yes"....
Good luck...
P.S. Don't ask me about that funny time when a guy asked his G/F this whilest he was on the "Jumbo-tron", during the 7th inning s... (read in full...)
I don't want to leave it long enough that he finds another girlfriend
Q. Hey I'm a 17 year old girl and I really like a 25 year old guy that has just broken up with his girlfriend. I'm aware of our age difference because he's had a live in relationship with a girl and I've only had a couple of boyfriends my age. I think ...
A. 20 July 2013: I suggest that you "leave it" forever, and look for guys who are closer to your age...... That image of the cool, suave and sophiticated older guys is fleeting. It's far more likely that a guy that much different in age from you really isn't much ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship survive or be strong when sex is not involved?
Q. Whats your opinion....can a relationship survive or be strong when sex is not involved?...am asking cos i dont wish to have sex until i get married.thanks...
A. 20 July 2013: You've really asked TWO questions... and here are those questions (inferred), and their answers:
1. You CAN refrain from having sex until/unless you are married. Your choice....
2. Once in a marriage or intimate relationship, yo... (read in full...)
My American wife green eyes scare me during sex
Q. I'm Pakistan and two months back I came to US on fiance visa to marry my American Fiance whom I met through internet. We got married one month ago. I'm 33 and my wife is 34. She is beautiful, caring and loving. I have been confronting a very strange ...
A. 19 July 2013: Have her wear a "sleep mask" during sex... That way, you won't see her evil eyes.... I use a "Spongebob Squarepants" sleepmask, myself....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
If its meant to be will it be?
Q. I wanted to get everyone's opinion on a topic- I was in an abusive relationship for about five years until I left and was brave enough to know that was not acceptable. I since have moved on have tried to date other people but i haven't forgotten ...
A. 19 July 2013: In my opinion, you are deluding yourself that you "... have moved on...." .... since your submittal, beyond that, describes a woman who hasn't, really, "moved on" at all.....
Consider... the opposite of LOVE is NOT "hate"... it's "indiffe... (read in full...)
How do I help my friend who keeps getting involved with the wrong men!
Q. Hi, I need advice on how to better understand and help a close friend of mine, to whom I’ve been an agony aunt since our teenage years. First of all, I’m not super-woman. I’ve had my own share of heartbreak and loneliness. It just happened that som...
A. 19 July 2013: You may join that large "group" of people who believe they can - or, should - "help" their friend(s).....
Now... you can hear this fact: YOU CAN'T "HELP" PEOPLE WHO WON'T HELP THEMSELVES!!!!!!
That's about all I have to say on this matter.... ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend no longer wants to date or hang out, just wants sex
Q. I have a problem that really shouldn't be a problem for a guy of my age. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 6 months we had intercourse about 1 month ago. Up until that point our relationship had been great we were very affectionate and ...
A. 19 July 2013: I've read your submittal 6 times (pausing, between readings, to be sure that my glasses weren't fogged-over).. and still cannot find a "problem" in what you've written........ (read in full...)
Need to choose between two guys
Q. A few months ago I was becoming quite lonely with few friends and was dying to be in a relationship with someone who cares about me and who I can care about. I guess my confidence got better and now I have more friends and ,now, I have fallen for ...
A. 19 July 2013:
The simplest way to choose between two guys is to ask them to let you see their bank statements from the last couple of years. If one has lots more assets than the other,.... then he's the one for you!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Unresolvable boyfriend: should I wait and see if he comes back or shall I forget him once and for all?
Q. I returned to my ex at the beginning of this year after being separated for 13 years, we were in our late teens and he was my first boyfriend and back then too many people got involved in our relationship. We never stopped loving each other and ...
A. 18 July 2013: I'd say you've "seen" enough of this guy to realize that there's no future for you, with him....
Walk away and never look back.... Save your soul and your mental health...
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why didn't he want me?
Q. Hi I would really like some help here, am I being paranoid, or is something not right? I have been with my BF for 3 months, everything is perfect except one thing! I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex. We do everything e...
A. 16 July 2013: When two people have widely divergent sex drives, they cannot reasonably expect to have a successful (love-) life... so your's (and his) "relationship" is doomed....
Chalk this up as a surprisingly-common life lesson, break up, and the two of y... (read in full...)
I need to let my girlfriend know I'm gay, but I don't know how to say it exactly
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. Yet, she was the one that asked me out on a date, however I've always regreted my choice to date her. I have no sexual attraction for her, however I have a strong sexual attraction to men. I was ...
A. 16 July 2013: Here's my suggestion..... You sit her down, face her and say: "Hunchy bunchy.... You know, and I know, that we have had good times as long as we've been together. AND, we really DO like one-another, a WHOLE LOT. However, I really must confess ... (read in full...)
I need to let my girlfriend know I'm gay, but I don't know how to say it exactly
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. Yet, she was the one that asked me out on a date, however I've always regreted my choice to date her. I have no sexual attraction for her, however I have a strong sexual attraction to men. I was ...
A. 16 July 2013: Here's my suggestion..... You sit her down, face her and say: "Hunchy bunchy.... You know, and I know, that we have had good times as long as we've been together. AND, we really DO like one-another, a WHOLE LOT. However, I really must confess ... (read in full...)
She tells me I'm a wonderful boyfriend but she freaked when she found soft-core on my phone
Q. My girlfriend ran into a porn website that I visited on my phone, and quickly got very angry and started mentioning that now she should go look for guys her age and fantasize about them having sex with her. I kept my mouth shut to keep the situation ...
A. 16 July 2013: The two of you put 'way too much emphasis on porn (viewing) and masturbation...... I can only begin to imagine what you two do, late at night, between the sheets....... (read in full...)
He is making me pay for having a higher IQ than him!
Q. Dear Cupid I have a weird problem. I am with my current bf for 3 years who is kind of narcissist. Our sex life is great, i am kind of emotionally dependent on him, but the main problem is, he doesn't like the fact that i am smarter than him...
A. 15 July 2013: You might just as well dump him, now.... as this scenario that you describe is NOT going to get better.... EVER!!!
I know from experience. When I was married, my ex- belittled me as not being "very smart".... HER initiative, not mine. I got tick... (read in full...)
Best friend and boyfriend .... what do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and my best friend have been sleeping together for at least 5 months but I can't find the courage to leave him. We share a 18 week old daughter, and we have just got our first mortgage in the past year. I'm in two minds about whether to ...
A. 15 July 2013: Your "best friend" is really no friend, at all...
Your "boyfriend" isn't much of a friend, or mate, or partner, either.... AND, you reveal that you are entwined with him (through the mortgage)... AND that you and he have sex regularly... so you c... (read in full...)
If you were me, would you take him back?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up recently. The relationship was at tipping point and although we loved each other (and still do) very much and had a great connection and friendship, it was time that we either did something about it, or brake ...
A. 15 July 2013: I think you're setting yourself up for more and more disappointment in the future....
We guys.. once we know we have girl "in the palm of our hand...." really won't do much to accomodate her. It's all about our penises... and where we can find... (read in full...)
Getting married so he can get his green card and now he wonders what he's doing with me?
Q. My finance told me two weeks before wedding that half of his time he is thinking what is he doing with me and he is getting married with me just because his family expecting him to. should I call off wedding?? Today we had little argument about be...
A. 15 July 2013: "Sounds", to me, like he's using you for the coveted green card... ... (read in full...)
Put a dent in my boyfriend's car, how do I handle this?
Q. I backed into something last night in boyfriends new car and now he is not speaking to me after though he was rude and acts like i did it on purpose. How long will he be mad? It isnt even a big dent (2in) also how should i handle it we live together...
A. 14 July 2013: Please advise what kind of car it is.... as that will affect my response.......... (read in full...)
He makes me out to be the bad guy but he's the one who cheated and lied!
Q. I'm feeling manipulated and would appreciate an outside perspective on this Seeing this guy for over a year. We were for sure monogamous at one point (9 mos) but he would never fully commit to me as his girlfriend :( He went out of town for t...
A. 27 June 2013: Three things... based on this segment of your submittal:
"Who's the asshole here? I know I was stupid but he's a big jerk right??"
1. Yes, you were stupid.
2. Yes, he's a big jerk.
3. It doesn't really matter who (or even IF one of yo... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my girlfriend? We don't seem to have that spark.
Q. My and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three months. She is 18 and im 22. My problem is that we dont seem to talk very much. I am naturally quite quiet and she is too I suppose, but I just wonder if this is normal. I see my friends ...
A. 26 June 2013: P.S. Another way to handle this matter is to learn Braille....
My G/F and I "communicate" with that "language" all the time... even when the lights are out!!!!
Try that, some time. It doesn't really matter if either of you is "fluent"... s... (read in full...)
Right person, Wrong time?
Q. Hey guys I have a question more for all of you. Is there such a thing as meeting the RIGHT person at the WRONG time. I met who I am pretty sure is the love of my life or at least I want him to be, 2 and a half years ago. We were in a long dist...
A. 26 June 2013: YES... there can be "right persons at the wrong time". In fact, if one got a nickel for every time that happened... I would be a very well-to-do man!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Is the purpose of sex to orgasm or to feel close and intimate with your partner?
Q. Okay so I'm 20 and recently started having sex with the guy that I'm seeing (he's 21). I lost my virginity to him, but we have only had sex about 3 times since that. Before we had sex, he would play with me down there. Now he doesn't, I think ...
A. 26 June 2013: You write: ".... he feels as though sex without orgasm/cumming is alright for a female..."
Prepare yourself. Because you are going to find that LOTS of guys believe this..... They (we) think that the ONLY reason to "have sex" is for us to dip o... (read in full...)
He gave me chlamydia and wasn't upfront with me about it. Is withholding information the same as lying?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant and through the series of required blood tests, I tested positive for chlamydia. Totally shocked, I told my bf what the doc said and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me (I tested negative at my last visit in ...
A. 26 June 2013: You ask: "...How do I deal with this?..."
Here's how: You say to him: "Oh, Boyfriend, the Father of this child that I have spawned with you...... I know you would like to obsfuscate sufficiently that it "goes away" that YOU are the source o... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm during oral sex
Q. Okay. So my boyfriend and I have been getting more intimate for the past month or so. When I say intimate, I mean to the point of oral sex and nothing further. He is the first guy I've ever gotten this far with, and I'm the first girl to ever ...
A. 26 June 2013: Put your B/F in touch with me.... and I will reveal to him the "secret" of his making you SCREAM in ORGASMIC DELIGHT whence he partakes of your tasty lady-parts....
... (read in full...)
I am addicted to chasing men and I don't know how to stop
Q. Hi there. I am a woman in her early thirties, and I think I have an addiction to chasing men. I know that many people will read this and want to give me the advice "just stop" but if it was that easy I would have done it a long time ago. I real...
A. 26 June 2013: I think your submittal "shows" that you view yourself as an "adjunct" or an "accessory" to a man...... That's not a terribly healthy position to give yourself....
Think about that... and whether or not you can adjust THAT "description of yourself... (read in full...)
Is it common for men in committed relationships to engage in behaviors like this with another woman? Why is he doing this?
Q. I'm a single female and a few months ago, had a chance to get to know a male colleague of mine who's located in a city 4 hours away. We hit it off immediately and very quickly became friends though common interests. After our first meet, we have not ...
A. 26 June 2013: There's really only one thing for you to focus upon: That is.... there is NO SUCH THING as a "harmless fling".....
.... that would be the same as suggesting that there are "cute, but not very powerful nuclear bombs..."
End of sermon....
Go... (read in full...)
How can we wear these corsets?
Q. Hello ladies of DearCupid! I have a question for you all. My friend and I have a costume party coming up and we are wearing corsets as tops. These are fun corsets not proper lace ups to change our shape. The issue is we bought them online a...
A. 26 June 2013: Do you have a problem with showing your generous "womanhood" to those who will be at the party????... (read in full...)
She left me because I don't want kids
Q. I've been with the same girl for 12 years. She would like to have a baby. I really don't want kids. She has left me now to carry on with her life. It was a really painfull breakup. And I feel really guilty about my choises. She chose me to have a ...
A. 26 June 2013: No. You're not "wrong".... There's really no "wrong" or "right" in the picture that you painted.... there's simply differing expectations of what you, two, wanted in life....
Now.... go on with your life... wish her luck in her's.... and that's t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and coworker are too close for comfort! She's trying to break us up, and she might be successful...
Q. Me and my boyfriend work for the same company but different departments. We have now lived together for almost 2 years which is how long we have also been going out, I know we moved in really fast. Anyways there is this girl who works in the of...
A. 26 June 2013: Let her have him. It's not much of a "loss" for you - as you describe things - and it's an opportunity for YOU to give HER the one thing that you don't want: headaches triggered by this Lothario....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Single, pregnant, and moving out from my parents. Where do I start?
Q. hello everyone, well i am 7 months pregnant and single and soon im going to start my maternity leave as i work full time and i get abut 8.90 an hour. i currently live at home however i would like to get my own place as we don't have enough spac...
A. 26 June 2013: I'm assuming that "at home" means with your parents. What's wrong with continuing to stay where you are?
Allow me to pontificate..... the latter part of your submittal "says" to me: "I would like to find some OTHER sort of resources (meaning... (read in full...)
My cheating ex is making me feel bad because I had a one night stand after we broke up. Am I in the wrong?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up around about 3 weeks ago due to him cheating on me. He's cheated on me multiple times, and now I've had enough, we broke up and ended and the break up has been challenging to say the least. ...
A. 26 June 2013: WHAT????? .... does an "EX-" have to do with what is going on in your life, now???..... IN ANY WAY?????... (read in full...)
Is this really cheating?
Q. I'm separated for 3 years now. I ran into my high school sweetheart a few weeks ago and made a lunch date. At our lunch we discussed everything. I told her about my cheater wife and she told me about her bad marriage. Long story short, she asked me ...
A. 23 June 2013: While my lower brain sez, "YES!!!!.... she's ripe, she's desperate and you're horny... so go for it." ....
...my UPPER brain sez that HeresBoo is correct... and that great s*x that you'll enjoy will be not-so-hot, after all.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my girlfriend? We don't seem to have that spark.
Q. My and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three months. She is 18 and im 22. My problem is that we dont seem to talk very much. I am naturally quite quiet and she is too I suppose, but I just wonder if this is normal. I see my friends ...
A. 23 June 2013: This submittal reminds me of a bit in the movie "Best in Show".... in which a young, busty, enticing woman has married a one-step-from-the-grave old codger.... and she is describing their relationship:
"We love being together... and we don't ev... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing here? Should I stay in this relationship?
Q. Hi aunt and uncles :) It's been a while since I have had to post as I have been really happy up until now. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 and a half years and we were really happy. He lost his job in November and was sent to prison. I st...
A. 23 June 2013: Throughout your submittal, it stands out, the most, that YOU are not "getting much" from this "relationship" with your boyfriend.... whilest HE gets ALL the benefits of having a dedicated girlfriend... who NOT ONLY puts up with all his sh*t.... BUT ... (read in full...)
If I'm feeding my boyfriend 2-3 times a week and thus spending more on food, wouldn't it be okay for him to help out cleaning more or to pick up the tab when we go out more?
Q. I have something that has been bugging me and I don't know if I'm justified or not to be bugged by it.... Me and my boyfriend have been together for four months. Im 23 he is 25. Outside of the very first date we split everything, all of our dat...
A. 22 June 2013: I think he "sounds" a bit like a cheapskate, who wasn't taught that splitting the costs of dating means that HE has to be one of the splitters....
You may either sit him down, show him this submittal, and say, "See, hunsy-wunsy, you are really g... (read in full...)
Fiance wanted a break, he's talking to another woman about but isn't trying to fix things. What does he want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if anyone can help - five weeks ago my fiance and partner of three years, who I lived with along with his little girl, told me that he was unsure of his feelings for me and we should have a break. I was devastated - we only got eng...
A. 22 June 2013: Here's the key phrase in your submittal:
"....and we spent the night together which obviously proves there is still attraction between us...."
Spending the night together proves, only, that you are agreeing to be intimate with this guy, and he... (read in full...)
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