A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't know when my girlfriend orgasms. right now all i can do is trust her but i would like to know if she orgasms for real or if she is faking it. When she tells me she orgasms i can't feel her contracting even if i use my fingers. only until afterwards she tells me she is still contracting and that is when im able to tell. please help and tell me how i can tell if she orgasm or not thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2013): She said she is so why not believe her? She is your gf after all.
And so what if she is faking? Obviously she has her reasons.
This question is sort of a chicken and egg. When guys make it so important to their ego that the woman orgasms, the woman then is forced to fake it to stop you getting all negative. Then you get hung up on the fact that she is faking when the reason she is faking is because of your attitude in the first place. Guys like you take the fun out of sex and turn it into a "performance time " for the woman.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 The experience of an orgasm is different for each woman and can be different each time.
What works for a woman one day (to achieve orgasm) may not work the next.
There's is no absolutely sure fire way of knowing whether your partner is having an orgasm other than her telling you.
If she's lying to you then the only person she's cheating is herself because she's not giving you the opportunity to learn what she likes and needs.
If you're both really comfortable with your bodies, and each other, have you considered masturbating together, watching each other pleasure yourselves.
Many couples find this a huge turn on as masturbation is usually such a private, secret and intimate thing.
By doing this you can see how she touches herself and where and how she behaves as she climaxes. Likewise she will learn about you.
Ultimately communication is always the way forward.
I hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 Sage, this one you got it from the " Book of exaggerations that guys use when talking about their sexual prowess " , I suppose ? ...:)
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 September 2013):
 I can offer this, from my own experience.....
When I am making love to my lady friend....and she is about to explode in one of our/her routine orgasms.... she commences to breathing VERY HEAVILY - as if she has just run a marathon - ....and she begins sweating profusely and thrashing about.... and - most telling of all - she screams out: " OH.... (my name here) .... I'm reaching the pinnacle of sexual and coital delight... and I don't want this to EVER stop.... Keep doing me, you sublime BULL!!! Continue sending me to the stars!!!!!"
.... or, something like that. Frankly, I never listen, in detail....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): Ask her. If you she has to lie about it or you think she is lying about it. She is probably not having one.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 September 2013):
This is a ridiculous question... Did you pressure her into feeling like she'd better be having orgasms or you were going to pout about it? If so she's probably faking it which is what you'd deserve. When a girl's not having an orgasm, work on your technique, don't complain.
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A
female
reader, YoungButNotNaive  +, writes (5 September 2013):
 Does she have body hang ups, or is she overall comfortable with her body? The reason I ask is because women who are comfortable with themselves are much more likely to have orgasms than ones who aren't. After all, orgasms usually involve less than attractive facial expressions, producing way more fluid than usual, and odd noises (not anything like the fake moaning you hear from the women in porn). When I say odd, I mean REALLY odd. It's indescribable. If a woman is comfortable enough to let herself go completely, and isn't thinking about how she looks or sounds, then it's likely it's for real. If she's normally reserved, or worries about how she looks a lot, then it's possible she's faking it. The absolute best way to ensure her orgasms are for real is to not put pressure on her to have them. If you are putting pressure on her by constantly asking her if she's had them or not, I can guarantee she will fake it. This is because you'll make her feel like she has no choice, otherwise you'll feel inadequate. Also keep in mind that just because she may not have an orgasm EVERY TIME you do something sexual doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy being intimate with you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 September 2013):
 goodness why is this an issue?
is she complaining that your sex life sucks?
who is unhappy in the bedroom and why?
personally sometimes you can't tell... SOME women (not all) will flush across their chest when they orgasm.
other that that you may never know... and it's really not important unless SHE's complaining.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 September 2013):
 Trust her?
And remember sex isn't just about her (or you) reaching the big O. There is a heck of a lot more to sex then that 30 seconds of Oh my!
Why you do NEED to know? Is she enjoying sex with you?
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