Is my boyfriends behavior with 16 year-olds daughter friend appropriate?
Q. Hi Everyone, Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I am a 35 year old women in a relationship with a 38 year old man. We have a good relationship and have been together for about 7 months. Recently, I was at his daughter sweet 16 birthda...
A. 27 August 2013: I would say that your "boyfriend's" mental growth ceased about 22 years ago. You need to decide if you want to continue in a relationship with a sixteen-year-old....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I don't want to use my mom just to babysit while I have a baby!
Q. Question for mothers and Fathers. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my second child who I have been with for 4 years. Me and my partner 'Jay' got into a huge argument last night about the when the time comes for me to have this baby. He obviously wan...
A. 27 August 2013: I think you need to "box" Jay's ears and tell him to grow up!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
How to tell your boyfriend he's starting to look unattractive?!?
Q. My long term boyfriend (29) has really changed his appearance. He used to have gorgeous hair, wear good clothes and look his age. Recently however, he's started to look older and older! He now cuts his hair so short he's nearly bald looking and says ...
A. 26 August 2013: I recommend that you find someone who can mold you a blow-up doll of your B/F (using him as a model) before he becomes SO disgusting that you finally MUST dump him to assure that your eyes don't go blind from looking at him....
THEN, keep the blow... (read in full...)
Should I worry about others hearing my girlfriend's moans during sex?
Q. During intercourse last night in bed my girlfriend started moaning for the very first time since we started having full sex regularly from being virgins a couple of months ago. I was pleased to hear her because I'd been thinking the condom was ...
A. 26 August 2013: If you get good quality, industrial ear-plugs (available at most home-goods and/or DIY stores) you probably won't be able to hear anything.....
As for your "neighbors"... who CARES what they hear???
Good luck....... (read in full...)
So how can I find motivation when deep down I think I'm gonna get no where in life?
Q. If any could give advice it would be appreciated.. right I have come to a stage in my life where I realised I'm going no where fast.. and I'm unhappy and want to do something about. I've been smoking cannabis for 10 years and want to stop, I also ...
A. 26 August 2013: "Sounds" to me like you've got your entire future figured out, and there's nothing positive about it.......
Is that how YOU feel? Is that how you WANT TO FEEL? If "yes," then you are on the right path....
IF you actually give a darn about mak... (read in full...)
I can see potential in this guy but my mom thinks he's bad news. How should I proceed?
Q. I moved with my family into a house next door to a guy around April. We started talking late May. We got along great and were hanging out heaps. We were staying at each others places watching movies or having drinks. We did give each other hugs ...
A. 26 August 2013: After sifting through your submittal a couple of times, I finally saw the importance of THIS phrase: "... I can see the potential he has."
OP: Potential is like fog. Sometimes it's there; sometimes it's not.... but, you can't do much with it.... (read in full...)
Attraction: a one-time thing?
Q. If a guy has a 'red hot' desire for a woman and for whatever reason it can't be met - maybe she moves away it just isn't available - can it ever come back again after fading? Can it come back even stronger? Or is it only ever a 'once in a lifetime ' ...
A. 26 August 2013: Yes, it can come back repeatedly.
Heck, if I had a nickel for every "one-time, (this time)head-over-heels" attraction that I'd ever experienced when a saw a hot lady..... I'd be one very well-to-do guy!!!!!
Hope this helps. Why do you ask?... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon?
Q. Dear Cupid! I've been dating my best friend for a two weeks now. We have been friends over a 6 years and now it finally became real relationship. He's 23, I'm 21 and we are crazy about each other. The thing is, I'm a virgin and he is not. In...
A. 26 August 2013: I checked my "guy Dictionary" and found that there is no entry for "to soon (to have sex)".... but that there are oodles of entries for "too late" (starting with, "... from the fourth date, on.....").....
Relax.... I'm sure everything is going to... (read in full...)
He gets aroused when I'm upset and crying??
Q. I have been with my fiance for 4 years. We had an argument the other day at our daughters birthday party. He raised his voice at me and swore at me in front of some of our guests which was humiliating. Not wanting to cause a scene at our daughters ...
A. 26 August 2013: So you've already had one husband who behaves this way toward you... and, now, you are prepping yourself for yet another one. Do you see your pattern? Are you prepared to do what you need to do to break it (the pattern)?
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Disrespectful daughter is on the streets now she wants to come home should I let her come back?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a very blessed single parent of two girls and one boy my son is the baby .All of my children are grown .But my second oldest daughter we have been at each other throats everyday since she got her period we have been in to it every ...
A. 26 August 2013: I'm amongst those who believe that you could and should allow her a conditional return... IF and as she gets along with you, and her siblings... and things go smoothly, you and she can see just how much you can repair that damage from the past (but ... (read in full...)
Am I prudish for not wanting to ejaculate in her mouth?
Q. I have a girlfriend for the first time in my life. We've been together for almost 6 months. She told me before we committed to a serious relationship that she was very sexual since she was 15. I was a virgin but lied and told her I had a few sexual ...
A. 26 August 2013: It IS "normal"... and YOU, Sir, are passing up a great opportunity!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?
Q. Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...
A. 26 August 2013: JenL: How far to you plan to go, to convince yourself that this guy has NO feelings for you... recognizing that you are his convenient TART....and have not a snowball's chance in Hell or ever having more than a "strumpet" "relationship" with ... (read in full...)
LDR says I'm nicer than the other girls he's been with
Q. This year I went on holiday with my family and whilst I was away, I met a guy who lives in Wales and I'm from England, so we could make it work. The hitch is, he is 19 and has slept with 18 girls, including a threesome he told me about whilst he ...
A. 26 August 2013: Let me re-state what I think I've read:
"I have met a guy from Wales who is a male-whore. I am a nice girl from England.... He tells me that I am "nicer" than most of the other girls he has bedded... and I'm trying to convince myself that he'... (read in full...)
The house will be "ours" but he is making the rules!
Q. Both in our 50's and only been married 10. months. We lived together happily for a year before but now bicker all the time. He feels that he has fitted into my lifestyle whilst at my house and we are now moving to his. I never wanted this but ...
A. 25 August 2013: Is "the issue" that you smoke? .... and want to do so INSIDE the house that you and he share?
If "yes," then why aren't you two compromising that smoking will take place OUTSIDE the house? Why would I suggest that YOU "compromise" in this man... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?
Q. Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...
A. 24 August 2013: You have become a perfect "L/D" "friend"...... coming to visit and offering sex when you do.... and staying out of the way - out of site, out of mind - when you are L/D...
IF you're happy with that.... then let it go on for as long as you would li... (read in full...)
The girl I've had a crush on for years is moving away! Should I tell her how I feel?
Q. the girl ive had a crush on since seconded grade is moving to florida this new year what do i do. should i tell her how i feel or forever be quiet and give up on her. if you have any better ideas please tell me. 8/22/13 ...
A. 23 August 2013: Why bother????? She's going 1/2 way around the year... and all that CAN happen is that SHE realizes that she had a guy who was really interested in her (you!)... and who she gave no encouragement to............
..... and YOU can convince yourself... (read in full...)
Wife had bad day at work, crying but won't tell me what happened!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind...no easy task I know. My wife comes home crying. She started a new job about 2 weeks ago. She said she had a horrible day. So I hug her and she cries. I ask whats wrong but she said she didnt want to ta...
A. 23 August 2013: Perhaps you'll feel better if I suggest that we focus on this sentence in your submittal: "I need some insight into the female mind...no easy task I know."
As it happens, you have underestimated the "dauntedness" of this task. It is ABSOLUTE... (read in full...)
Do guys ever change their minds after rejecting a woman?
Q. Do guys ever change their mind after rejecting a woman, especially if they realise they've almost completely 'read her wrong' first time around? ...
A. 22 August 2013: Sure we do. BUT, we have to be very careful (and some of you women might say, "deceitful")... to assure that you (women) don't figure out that WE figured out that we screwed up when we dumped you... and that we are, now, coming back to you on ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any insight into the communication (or lack of) in this relationship?
Q. I met a man through my brother in law. My father recently died and this man is selling the house I inherited. We started communicating through facebook for a week. Last week , he drove three hours to meet me. We had a pleasant time. The weather was ...
A. 22 August 2013: Pay him his commission upon the sale of the property that you inherited.... and don't expect much/anything more to come of your meeting him....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I've been involved with a guy from work who also has a girlfriend. Things were great but I feel like he's backing off. How can I keep him interested?
Q. I've been seeing a guy from work for a while, i started there in April and I've had so much fun working with him and flirting away. We get on great! The flirting increased about two months ago and we started sending dirty texts and pics, which ...
A. 22 August 2013: Short of sending his REAL "girlfriend" on a sabbatical to, say, Bora Bora for three, four or more years... I think you are wasting your time.....
P.S. IF you DO get her to take that sabbatical... don't be surprised if he dumps you, again, o... (read in full...)
It took me a long time to climax during first-time sex and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to speed things up a little bit
Q. I have been dating a girl who is not a virgin for about six months now and just last week we decided to have sex when I was a virgin. She's same age as I am. Body wise, she's got a body that turns me on and she's great at making out...probably a lil ...
A. 22 August 2013: I'm willing to guess/wager that any difficulties that you are experiencing are more related to apprehension that to anything physical...... If'n you are able to relax, more, when you are being intimate with your G/F, I'll expect that you will find ... (read in full...)
Someone needs to tell him he's hurting people!
Q. So... Two and a half months ago my ex dumped me out of the blue no clear warning signs no nothing, just the explaination of I don't see it lasting! We'd been together btw prior to this ten months and he'd promised me basically the world telling me ...
A. 22 August 2013: Sometimes, in life, we face instances such as this.... and, when we do so, it's best to say (to yourself): "What good could or would come from doing ANYTHING about and with these two? Shouldn't I just conserve my mental energy and focus it ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is working abroad and I'm unemployed and struggling with a toddler and another on the way
Q. I'm 23, I have a 3 year old and am currently 23 weeks pregnant. I've been with my boyfriend 5 years and he is abroad finishing a job and will be home in November. Me and my son have just come back home to live with my parents and to look for a house ...
A. 21 August 2013: First: Forget about this cad who you let impregnate you, then ran off to who-knows what and where?????? .... and plan on spending the rest of your life without him. He's
"bad news".... and you deserve better....
Second: There IS no "second" ... (read in full...)
Ex initiated contact. I thought I'm over him, but now I can't stick to my guns.
Q. This is my last post. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-i-still-feel-sad-miss-him.html So the last time I talked to my ex, he said he will marry me if I fly to him tomorrow. He said he's not over me. I asked why he didn't wish me happy bir...
A. 21 August 2013: "Fly to him tomorrow"????? Heck, for the guy you've described, I wouldn't STEP OVER A PUDDLE to get to him in order to throw myself at him in an ill-fated marriage.
Remind the cad that REAL MEN who want to marry REAL WOMEN take the initiati... (read in full...)
If a girl at work or serving at a shop that I frequent tells me "I am so bored", would you think that is a signal of interest?
Q. If a girl at work or serving at a shop that I frequent tells me "I am so bored", would you think that is a signal of interest? I have had one or two telling me they are bored, and we should get together, to take away the boredom. I realise the la...
A. 21 August 2013: You could always address the issue head-on, and say to the lady: "Well, (her name here), are you telling me that this job provides you no stimulation - mental or otherwise - or are you using the "I'm so bored" line to indicate to me interest in ... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 21 August 2013: Moody: Relative to this comment that you made: ".... he's told me "until death do us part" when I've felt this way before..."
Please remember,... that we guys will say just about ANYTHING to a woman who has put out for us... and, who, presumea... (read in full...)
Has porn ruined the rest of my life?
Q. Hi there, I started watching porn from a young age (11 years old) and stopped when I was thirteen and was wondering now, has porn ruined my life? I feel like it's disturbed me from a young age, I only realised when I was about 12 years old; I knew ...
A. 20 August 2013: I suggest that you go through your submittal and substitute the word "comedy" for every time that you've used the word "porn" or "sex"...... See if that doesn't put a different light you your question.....
Good luck..... ... (read in full...)
Its been 8 months and my boyfriend won't have sex with me?
Q. I have known my current boyfriend for over 5 years. We were once very close friends with crushes on one another (however, not your traditional friends with benefits kinda thing) and have been dating for about 8 1/2 months, now. We love each other a ...
A. 20 August 2013: You and he have known each other for 5 years... the last 8 months in a "dating" status.... AND HE WON'T HAVE SEX WITH YOU???????
Unless he is a Catholic clergyman, who is Hell-bent to stick with his vows... this SCREAMS at me that this guy is n... (read in full...)
I ended up sleeping with my ex only to find out that he has been seeing soomeone new
Q. So.. I slept with my ex bf over the weekend after 2 months being broken up. He was the one that broke no contact, he called me late sat night saying he wanted to talk and bla bla you know the rest. I found out the next day through mutual friends ...
A. 20 August 2013: Let me re-state your submittal as I read it: To wit:
"My B/F and I broke up 2 months ago. Last Saturday, he got horny and contacted me, and indicated that he wanted me to assuage his horniness by making myself available for sex. I agreed..... (read in full...)
Is he playing with my feelings?
Q. Okay everyone I am so very beyond confused! So I broke up with my ex last Monday. I didn't miss him wanna talk to him or anything. Then he texted me on Thursday telling me that he misses me and stuff that he would usually never say. He was saying ...
A. 20 August 2013: Think of what you described; a "relationship" which is fragile, at best.... and which is sustained by neither of you wanting to take the initiative to move on to some OTHER relationship, which (relationship) ISN'T based upon "...were both afraid ... (read in full...)
I'm married, he's married. Do I tell him that I have a crush?
Q. I am married and I have a crush on a married teacher I met only briefly. Should I tell him? ...
A. 20 August 2013: IF I told every married woman who I have a crush on.. that I have a crush on her... I would spend upwards of 75% of my life in the hospital with injuries inflicted by husbands (of married women who I have a crush on)......
Keep quiet....... (read in full...)
Is being tan really considered to be more beautiful?
Q. So lately, everyone has been commenting on how pale I am. I mean its the summer time and I work as a lifeguard so you'd think I'd be super tan but nope, I have to wear a lot of sunscreen and when I don't, I get badly burned very easily and the burn ...
A. 20 August 2013: The biggest thing about tanning - in my book - is if a girl who HAS a tan is willing you to show me her "tan lines"..... If she does (show them)... then I know she has the kind of morals that I seek in a lady....
IF she sez "I'm not removing... (read in full...)
Ex husband and ex wife still doing drama? Divorced or NOT!!
Q. My potential mate has an ex wife. After 5 and a half years, they divorced. They have a 5 year old daughter. He likes me and he wants me to be his girlfriend but I have a few issues with his ex wife. While she was married to him, sought attention...
A. 20 August 2013: There's 'way too much drama in the goings-on that you describe......
WHY would anyone want to put themselves in the middle of THAT (that drama).... when, instead, they can indulge in a real life of common sense and not a lot of intrigue and goof... (read in full...)
How often do guys un-friend zone girls?
Q. How often does this happen? My situation is this: my guy friend and I have known each other for 3 years but have never been super close because of his Avoidant Personality Disorder. Yet this summer things changed, we had a bit of a fight and made...
A. 20 August 2013: When I "see" this type of drama.... I get that itchy feeling that whatever-it-is.... it isn't worth pursuing....
You can find a guy who has a clearer picture of his life, and where you fit in it.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
We are soulmates but now he's ignoring me.
Q. I've been in a whirlwind relationship that I would consider my soulmate. He is recently divorced, a messy divorce, and has kids. I'm longtime divorced with no children. It was love at first sight for both of us and he asked me to marry him ...
A. 19 August 2013: You write: "....I'm afraid I've lost him."
Heck, don't be "afraid".... be happy that your found out who he was... and he "tipped his hand" before you got any more fully "bonded" to him....
This guy sounds like a creep... and you are better o... (read in full...)
Are boobs that important to guys?
Q. Hello! Ok so I am a 17 year old girl, and very small and thin... If any of you know who Ariana Grande is (singer/actress) I basically have the exact body type as her. Short, petite, and thin. Unfortunately that also means I really don't have boobs ...
A. 19 August 2013: You need to figure out - and be very confident - that that jerk who told you that you "don't have anything extra"... also doesn't "have anything extra" himself... That is... he has NO BRAINS!!!!!
Guys who put that much emphasis on appearan... (read in full...)
Am I being too polite with the ladies?
Q. Just a quick question. In this day is it better to be more cheeky with the ladys then too polite? I mean I'm oddly old fashioned, and not a major touchy person with girls.. even ones I like.. heck if I meet them I. Might give them a peck on t...
A. 19 August 2013: I vote for "cheeky". I've never encountered a woman who said, "Gee, (my name here), even though you haven't been a bit cheeky, and off-colour, with me... I still want to get naked with you, in bed, this evening...."
"Good" guys often go home to ... (read in full...)
I was upset all evening, was I overreacting?
Q. Hello, yesterday I had a meeting in the city with my boyfriend. I was a little late and when I came to the meeting place I saw him talking to his ex gf who he knows I hate very much, because she is psycho bitch. They were laughing and when I was ...
A. 19 August 2013: I wouldn't be so forgiving as SVC. Your B/F KNEW you were going to be by... he KNOWS that you don't like it when he interacts with his ex-..... yet he appeared to be rather comfortable with the going-on... which is a real peeve of your's.
I int... (read in full...)
For my own sake, should I tell my ex how I feel?
Q. To try and keep a long story short, I left him because of his temper. He wouldn't yell, but rant on and on often saying spiteful things to me e.g. You're crazy, stuck up, bitch After a few weeks on no contact we started talking. Things were goo...
A. 19 August 2013: This guy is a ticking time-bomb. Who KNOWS when will be the incident wherein he will actually HARM you???????
Sooooo, why even hold open the prospect for that to happen. Go on your own way.... let him go on his... and "... never the twain sh... (read in full...)
I'm in love with him but he won't give me any commitment
Q. Since March this year I have been in touch with a Korean man online. We met on a penpals website so I was not looking for a relationship. He's based in London on a two year student visa. When we first started talking it was very casual but after a ...
A. 19 August 2013: I would focus on this comment that he made: "...he told me that he only wanted to be friends..."
Believe him... and get a different guy if you REALLY want a "boyfriend".... This guy isn't one...
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Five years together and his soulmate, yet his actions bother me
Q. Hi. My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years. Because of work we have lived 2 hours away for the past year. He has said he wants to marry me and I am his soulmate. When his dad died a couple of weeks ago, he told me they were not having a ...
A. 19 August 2013: The difference between your's and his reactions.... is that YOU give a damn about HIM.... but HE doesn't give a damn about YOU!!!!
Ask him about that. I believe that you will find that I am correct... and that you have wasted 5 years believin... (read in full...)
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