A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi I've liked a guy for about 12 months now. We have said hi (the small talk) and he makes me laugh. His girlfriend of 10 months broke up with him like 5 minutes ago ( found out on facebook) I know its wrong to go after him but I want to comfort him (I just feel so bad I wanted them to split so I could have him (selfish eh?) But I feel horrid knowing how upset he is) how can I comfort him while not seeming nosy?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 September 2013):
 he's not a friend... he's a guy you have a crush on who is polite to you.....
there is nothing you can do unless he says something to you.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (4 September 2013):
 I checked my reference book titled "How a girl can comfort a guy who has just been dumped by his G/F"... and found this:
If a girl learns that you have just been dumped by your "old" girlfriend,... and she wants to "comfort" you... the concensus of "men" is that you should undo your pants and offer, to her, your manhood.....and, assuming that she takes it in her hand, you tell her: "Oh, (her name here), I was SOOOOO despondent... but your comforting of me is SO comfortable, that I will consider to have coitus with you, this evening... and that will make me feel SOOOO much better... and YOU will have "made" me feel better.... so I will be SOOOO indebted to you.....
... at least until tomorrow morning!!!!"
Once you're aware of this, he should become "putty in your hands" in no time, at all....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 September 2013):
 You don't . It WOULD look nosy- you are just at small talk level, not even friends,... and 10 minutes after his break up , Florence Nightingale is already there to offer tea and sympathy ? He would wonder how came you even know it, and what business is of yours is anyway .
Then, if the break up is so recent , it could be too early for him to talk about it and rehash it even with his close friends, imagine semifriends. You have good intentions but probably the timing is not right.
Plus, come on, you aren't actually sorry that he broke up. You are sorry that he feels down, but you are actually overjoyed that now at least you have an opening- that's exactly what you hoped for. So your sorrow for him is at least very mixed with other emotions . While this is just human , normal, and natural- most people can tell if you are really, sincerely grieving with them, or if you are just saying it. You'd come off as fake.
Lastly, you are applying for a role of girlfriend, hopefully . The last thing you want is to be friendzoned and become that nice shoulder to cry on and obsess about his lost love with.
Let him be for the time being- he will survive :) He will use his own coping skills. And when the worst is over and he feels like socializing again, ( which at his age is probably going to be real soon ) you can be that cute single girl that could be a new dating option, not the Old Reliable with whom he can reminisce about other women.
In a few days, when the news of the break up has been circulating for a while , so it's reasonable that you have heard about it, if you wish you can do what IAmHereToHelpYou suggests and offer your support as worded by her.
But personally, I would not even do that. You want to be the next girlfriend, don't you ? And the new girlfriend does not even bother about exes and what they did etc.- she does not even want to know about it. It's about HER now, not the ex !
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