Five years together and his soulmate, yet his actions bother me
Q. Hi. My bf and I have been together for almost 5 years. Because of work we have lived 2 hours away for the past year. He has said he wants to marry me and I am his soulmate. When his dad died a couple of weeks ago, he told me they were not having a ...
A. 19 August 2013: The difference between your's and his reactions.... is that YOU give a damn about HIM.... but HE doesn't give a damn about YOU!!!!
Ask him about that. I believe that you will find that I am correct... and that you have wasted 5 years believin... (read in full...)
Why do low-income families tend to have more kids per family unit?
Q. Just curious, as I see tons of family's that have sometimes 3 or more children, yet have an extremely small income. You'd think it'd be the opposite, because the low-income families have neither the time nor the money to properly care for these ...
A. 19 August 2013: Isn't the answer obvious? Low income people don't have the resources to go to the opera, or out to dinner at upscale restaurants, or for weeks on end, to lavish resorts. Consequently, all the poor creatures have available to them, for ... (read in full...)
Suggestions on how to decoy him for a few minutes?
Q. hi I need some suggestions... I want to do something special for my boyfriend for his birthday we are going out of town on vacation and will be at a nice hotel and resort. I want to decorate the room really romantic for him but i need an excuse t...
A. 19 August 2013: When you and he are walking from your car in to the hotel lobby... point to a distant place in the parking lot and say, "Damn, isn't that Elvis Presley, arriving? I konw you like him... how about going over and getting an autograph from him?????"
... (read in full...)
Does this sound like a normal stag night or should I be concerned?
Q. I'm 28, my fiance's 31, we've been a couple for 5 years now, engaged for 2. We live in Southport, England. His stag weekend is coming up in 6 weeks, and this is what he's doing [quoted from itinerary]: STAG NIGHT WITH THE LADS ATTENDING: John [...
A. 16 August 2013: SVC has it correct. The only guys who might EVER plan that much shopping would have to have a gender-identity problem!!!!!
That said, the anonymous ones seem to have a better "take" on this.... a ruse to put you off-guard....
As for Wise O... (read in full...)
Where do I meet these particular types of women?
Q. I'm 27, and thank you for your help at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-become-better-at-dating.html. I will try some of your suggestions and thank you for them. The walking (or hiking as you referred to it) is good socially, bu...
A. 16 August 2013: I swear, your submittal "sounds" like you are a horse breeder who is trying to find just the right mare to carry the foal of your star stallion.....
.... or a wheat farmer who is ruminating about using one of Monsanto's genetica... (read in full...)
Fallen out with a friend due to her involvement with this man!
Q. I have been friends with my friend for about 12 years. We went to University together. We don't see each other often as we live quite far away but we talk a lot on the phone. Sometimes a couple times a day. She was with a guy for 5 years. She nev...
A. 16 August 2013: The mistakes that you are seeing her make are HER mistakes.. and SHE will have to live with the fallout from them.
As a friend (such as you are), it is painful to see someone make OBVIOUS stupid decisions.... but - also as a friend - it is OK fo... (read in full...)
We've been friends for years, but I haven't heard from him since we slept together
Q. Ok so there is this guy we have been friends for about 8 years, he has always seemed to like me, then all of a sudden i started to have feelings for him, so we started talking more ect he said he liked me and i told him the same, then we slept ...
A. 15 August 2013: Got Issues is correct. This is classic "guy" behaviour... wherein, we are "friends" with some girl.... we bide our time... then we get her to put out... and, after that, we ignore her........
Chalk this up to an unpleasant eye-opening about th... (read in full...)
The girl I love is very goodlooking and she constantly posts pictures of herself online which other guys comment on. Why is she doing this and how can I show her how much I like her?
Q. Too make a long story short. Theres this girl whos really hot and from 1 to 10 shes a outstanding 10, i met her at my school and she was taken at the time, so time went by and she ended up becoming single and me and her became closer. i would ditch ...
A. 15 August 2013: Toonz: This girl you describe sounds very narcisistic and self-centered.... AND, quite immature - as evidenced by the way she "plays" her attractiveness (the posting of pics to "solicite" comments)...
In the extreme, this really shows a lack of ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're really over someone and not just trying to replace them with someone else?
Q. Hey there, my boyfriend broke up with me one month ago, leaving me here to spend the whole summer alone or - even worse - with my parents. Now, here's the situation: this October I'm gonna start university, and - as many friends of mine told me ...
A. 15 August 2013: This is an interesting question to which I offer this rather-cliche "answer"....
The opposite of LOVE is NOT "hate".... it is "indifference"
When you (finally) feel "indifferent" about this boyfriend that you broke up with.... THEN you will re... (read in full...)
I've lost sight of myself in this relationship and don't even like my boyfriend, who treats me with didrespect. How do I leave him?
Q. I want to leave my boyfriend. We've been a couple for 2 and a half years and the relationship has been going nowhere for most of that time. We argue a lot and when we don't argue, we hardly talk to one another. We had a lot of pro...
A. 15 August 2013: Taken in its entirety, your submittal does NOT describe a "relationship".... but, instead, a peculiar form of co-existence which doesn't sound very pleasant or satisfying.
Therefore, I don't think you have to worry about "leaving" this guy. In... (read in full...)
The weirdest date I've been on. I still can't figure out what happened?
Q. The weirdest date ever, what does it mean? I met this guy in Miami, we had some kissing and some sort of almost sex in a car. He was out of town. We kept writing to each other very infrequently on FB. 2 years forward, I have a business trip an...
A. 14 August 2013: SVC: I like to "get physical" with my girls.... We do arm- wrestling..... thumb wrestling... and - the best of them - we play tennis together (singles)!!!!
How do YOU "get physical" with YOUR man????
P.S. Did you know that "Scrabble" can b... (read in full...)
To apologise for the way I treated her I helped pay for their wedding, but I realize that I love her
Q. This is long and I apologize. But I put myself into this ordeal and I want to know how to get out. I met this great woman when we were 16. We dated the summer after sophomore year (10th grade) but I regret to say that I blew her off most of the ...
A. 14 August 2013: Well.... you certainly qualify as a "damn fool".... one who is poorer by (insert amount, here)..... BUT....
Nobody can deny that your heart was in the right place... a mis-placed place, to be sure...... SOOOoooooo, forget this incident... (read in full...)
I Think My Girlfriend Walks All Over Me
Q. Hey guys, This is my first post on here so I’ll give it a go. I have been with my girlfriend for about 15 months now and all my friends think she walks all over me and I don’t be the man in the relationship. Whenever I have a problem with anyt...
A. 14 August 2013: I wouldn't spend a minute thinking about what your "friends" say about the situation you described. Instead, reread your submittal, and then ask YOURSELF: "Is this the kind of "relationship" that I wish to have with a woman/girlfriend/wife?"
... (read in full...)
The weirdest date I've been on. I still can't figure out what happened?
Q. The weirdest date ever, what does it mean? I met this guy in Miami, we had some kissing and some sort of almost sex in a car. He was out of town. We kept writing to each other very infrequently on FB. 2 years forward, I have a business trip an...
A. 14 August 2013: I'll venture a guess.
Taken in its entirety, your submittal gives me the sense that you "threw yourself" at this guy. While most any guy would covet the opportunity to engage a hot young thing, like you,.... IF her behaviour becomes rather o... (read in full...)
Does my husband really love me when he still wants to go to his ex's house?
Q. Hey everyone im new to this site. Im not sure where to start. But i am very heartbroken my husband and i have been married for over a year we had only been dating for a month then we got married. My husband has a daughter from a previous ...
A. 13 August 2013: Your hubby has attained "guy Nirvana".... he has two women fighting over him... and both seem to be content to joust for his affections...... Neither of you is likely to reel him in.... and he gets to live, indefinitely, with two different ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has finally agreed to everything I thought I wanted but now I'm still not happy!
Q. I'm desperately in need of some advice if someone can help me please? I am 29 and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. For the first couple of years of our relationship he didn't seem that interested and it seemed to me that he preferred to ...
A. 13 August 2013: The best analogy I can think of is a dog chasing a car. Once he catches the darn thing, WHAT is he to do with it?
Your situation "sounds" like that. WHY are you chasing this car?
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I'm hurt that he is choosing to believe an anonymous idiot over me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 4 years. A couple of nights ago he called me to say he'd received a text message saying 'you should ask your girlfriend where she stayed on Saturday night'. I was on a night out with my sister o...
A. 13 August 2013: He can't see the number from which the text was sent?????
.. and it was anonymous??????? .... and he's reacting to it as if it has any credibility?????
He needs to ask you - just once - to confirm where you were on Saturday night (you've alre... (read in full...)
I am a very quiet and boring guy, will girls like me?
Q. I am a 23 year old guy and never had a girlfriend before. Its not that I don't like women/girls, its because I don't know how to get one due to the fact that I always keep my mouth shut, but I can't help it because its my personality. It is kind of ...
A. 13 August 2013: Lots of young women have a "thing" for "the strong, silent type"..... which is how you described yourself.....
Be patient... "the one" may show up on the seat next to you on the bus,.... in line with you at the library,... or in the produce ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble deciding between two guys.
Q. I'm having trouble deciding between two guys. Maybe both are wrong for me, I don't know. Basically, one of the guys, I've had a very strange history with. I met him in college 5 years ago as acquaintances. His girlfriend was also an acquaintance. 3 ...
A. 13 August 2013: This missive... which has all the depth and nuance as if it were written by a young teenage girl... makes me wonder if your age was noted incorrectly when you submitted it.
Otherwise.... the only real "question" that I wonder is: Do you think yo... (read in full...)
Did he forget we agreed to get married in December?
Q. Hi everyone. Please tell me if I am overreacting. My boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said yes, we agreed to marry in December. This was 2 months ago. We do not have a ring yet. He says he is saving. We have not discussed that again, I accepted ...
A. 13 August 2013: The only "planning" that a guy does for his wedding, is to mark his calendar on the appropriate day... and to mark that calendar date with "be sure to shower"....
Other than that, this December will be just like any other December, as far as h... (read in full...)
I want to masturbate but I don't want to feel the guilt again!
Q. To make a long story short, I use to be inlove with masturbating and i stopped doing it 2 months ago, but i feel like if i do it just once ill get hooked but masturbation is a thing with all males 99% of all males do it and i have had these strong ...
A. 13 August 2013: Stop listening to whoever told you that you should be "guilty" about masturbating..... and get on with it....
AND, don't worry about hair growing on the palms of your hands, OR that you'll go blind... or mad.
Good luck... and enjoy yourse... (read in full...)
He dates me and then ignores me! He's done this twice and I want it to stop
Q. So I met a guy that's 2 years younger than me last year in November, we really got along well and were going on dates till he completely stopped speaking to me at a stage, then eventually he said he couldn't be in a relationship at that time. So my ...
A. 12 August 2013: The "answer" to your question is right there in your posting. To wit:
"...I'm really so tired of this and I know I deserve better! Should I just completely delete him off BBM? (yes). I want him to realize now that I'm no longer an option! ... (read in full...)
Self esteem ruined due to ex and his new play thing. Advice?
Q. Me and my ex broke up about 2 and a half months ago. We did start seeing eachother again for a month but we now haven't spoken for around about a month. We broke up due to him being a serial cheat and even tho...
A. 12 August 2013: May I offer this perspective?
1. Your ex- cheated on you multiple times ("serial cheater"). So, you are well rid of him....
2. He took up with a girl who wasn't really a "friend" to you... and who you say you really didn't even like her...... (read in full...)
The people I work with are so horrible they won't even talk to me!
Q. Why are the people I work with so horrible? I got a new job a few months ago and the people there are just horrible. I've tried to get to know them but none of them have taken interest in getting to know me. I've given up starting small one...
A. 12 August 2013: "Methinks thou doth protest too much..."
The nature and intensity of your plaint makes me wonder the circumstances under which "...the people I work with (are) so horrible...."
Remember, work is work, not a social outing. You say you like you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't contact me all weekend so I ended things. How do I keep from taking him back?
Q. My boyfriend (now ex) has been missing all weekend. I know for a fact he is ok as pics of him at house parties have been popping up on facebook. Yet he cannot be bothered to contact me or pick up his phone. Im so angry. I never stop him going out, ...
A. 12 August 2013: Two suggestions come to mind....
First: Get his possessions OUT OF SIGHT!!! Put them on your front step, and tell him that they will remain there only through the day... after which, you will discard them. Then, DO THAT!!!! (IF/when he comes... (read in full...)
Is it normal for women not to have enjoyed sex when they were teenagers?
Q. This is something that really shouldn't mean anything I guess but I'm just curious about. My ex wife had slept with a guy 7 times as a teenager. She said she never enjoyed it and didn't want to do it.My current wife had slept with 2 guys as a ...
A. 8 August 2013: Looks like your G/Fs never ran in to a guy such as me. IF they had... you NEVER would have had a chance with them!!!!
Count your blessings!!!... (read in full...)
Why did he let me go if I was so good for him?
Q. I posted a few days ago in regards to my boyfriend not sure if he saw me in his future. I'm 23, and he is as well. He told me he wasn't sure he saw me completely and he was completely confused. The day before yesterday, he came over to talk. ...
A. 8 August 2013: Don't give it a thought. Just be happy that he gave you an "out"... and live the rest of your life in peace....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Should I wear a bra because my boyfriend think it's too sexual otherwise?
Q. Is it normal that my boyfriend constantly goes on about the fact that I should wear a bra? We've been having a very hot summer so far and I started leaving the house wearing tops but without a bra underneath. He says that it's obscene and ...
A. 8 August 2013: Doeshe wear a jockstrap? If "yes," then he CAN insist that you wear a brassiere. Otherwise, all bets are "off."
Good luck...
P.S Got any pictures that you want us to see?????... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with someone 16 years my senior again?
Q. I'm an 18 year old female, and on a course in France last week I had sex with a 34 year old course leader who I met that week...we were both very drunk and although I don't regret it I haven't told anyone because I can see why people would think ...
A. 7 August 2013: You and he might not see any peculiarities in his bedding you.. BUT whoever is responsible for the course in which the two of you are involved damned BETTER believe that your's and his getting it on is OFF THE TABLE... and is grounds to send YOU ... (read in full...)
What would be good to wear/bring for a beach date followed by a movie?
Q. I am going on a beach date. the beach we are planning on going to is within walking distance of my house, so we would come back there and watch a movie later. what should i bring? what should i wear ? is there anything else that you think would ...
A. 7 August 2013: Bring wine... and - assuming that he will not do so - bring along a condom or two....
Good luck.... "Beach" dates are the BOMB!!!
P.S. For a movie, I suggest "Pooty Tang"........ (read in full...)
She says she's ready for oral sex. I've never done it before and it bothers me a bit that she has.
Q. I have been dating this girl for awhile. She basically told me that she is ready to have oral if I make the first move. I have never done anything except kiss, but she has gone as far as oral multiple times. One of the times was with a guy whom she ...
A. 7 August 2013: P.P.S. Be thankful that they brought back Twinkies... 'cuz, if they hadn't, I don't know just how I would have described how to accomplish this!!!!... (read in full...)
She says she's ready for oral sex. I've never done it before and it bothers me a bit that she has.
Q. I have been dating this girl for awhile. She basically told me that she is ready to have oral if I make the first move. I have never done anything except kiss, but she has gone as far as oral multiple times. One of the times was with a guy whom she ...
A. 7 August 2013: I suggest that you learn about "oral".... what it entails... and get damn good at it... since it is the SECRET to making out with girls....
IF you have no one to instruct you... may I offer this????
.... get yourself a box of Twinkies.... and... (read in full...)
Neighbor confessed her love to my husband
Q. I just found out my next door neighbor declared her love to my husband. She called him to make the confession. A few weeks ago I noticed they exchanged a "look" and when I stared at her, she felt uncomfortable. There have been many signs and now I ...
A. 7 August 2013: You sit down with hubby and say: "You know, Hunchy Bunchy, our neighbor is smitten with you... and would love to bed your for her pleasure....... and I know it.... and YOU know it..... Sooooo, I can't help but ask: Would you like to slip your ... (read in full...)
My brother's wife cheated and doesn't know who the father of her baby is!
Q. So my sister in law cheated on my brother for two years and now she's pregnant but doesn't know who the baby's dad is. Great! I'm so mad at her I could hit her and mind you i'm not a violent person at all. I've never hit anyone out of anger in my ...
A. 7 August 2013: Sooooo, your slut sister-in-law seems to be knocked up by who-knows-who.... and you want to "protect" your brother????
I suggest that you take brother aside and tell him "you know, Brother, that your wife is a SLUT.... and put out for who-know... (read in full...)
My husband is too good to divorce but we live in a 100% non sexual marriage
Q. My husband never hugs me, or looks at me. I don't understand him, because he says ,he loves me. He is completely non sexual with me. I feel totally deprived, and neglected. He is a nice man, he is working hard, and supportive with money.. He ...
A. 7 August 2013: I have endured the "sexless relationship", myself, so feel comfortable telling you this:
IF you will make yourself content to live the rest of your life with no intimacy.... no sexual contact... no intercourse.... then stay where you are... a... (read in full...)
Will sex always feel like something too big is going in you?
Q. I think it is normal for our first time feel like fitting some thing big into a our vagina which is too small. Will this feeling appear in the 2nd time also? ...
A. 7 August 2013: At the risk of sounding glib.... remember that the female vaginal muscles and tendons are amongst the most flexible and "stretchy" tissues in all of humankind.
Consider, that you ask about your vagina being able to be penetrated by a penis...... (read in full...)
Without my glasses I didn't realise she was much older. How do I extricate myself tactfully?
Q. Dear all, I do not know how I have found myself in this situation... I met this woman at salsa and discovered we work for the same organization. She was kinda pretty and interesting, so I kept in touch with her. We had lunch at the park 5 days ...
A. 6 August 2013: My GAWD!!!!! She's FORTY!!!!???? What better example of someone who has "... one foot in (their) grave, and the other (foot) an a banana peel"!!!!!!! Lord knows, she may have just a few weeks left in her, anyway.... If so, then your "problem" ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend losing interest in me?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together 5 months, we started living together when we had only been dating 1 month. he moved out in the middle of july and moved in with one of his close friends (a guy) he said that we fought to much living together. ...
A. 6 August 2013: You write: "....any idea on whats going on?"
Yep. He isn't much in to you.... and your wasting your time pursuing him.....
Move on with your life, and chalk this up to an affair/ relationship that ain't gonna happen!!!!!
Good luck....... (read in full...)
She knows I am married, so why be like this?
Q. I am struggling with temptation right now. A good female friend of mine back from High School who moved back into town has started to become flirtatious towards me like we used to back then....I have been married for 4 years and don't have any real ...
A. 6 August 2013: You ask: "... I dont know how to tell her politely to stop..."
This is one of those rare cases wherein you DON'T HAVE TO BE POLITE!!!!! Instead, you are able to say, "Listen, (her name here), it's been pretty easy to recognize that you are hitt... (read in full...)
Any tips for coping with feelings of jealousy and insecurity over ex-husband's new girlfriend?
Q. Any tips for coping with feelings of jealousy and insecurity over ex-husband's new girlfriend? I know it shouldn't bug me, and I don't want my ex back, he was a very bad husband (putting it mildly). I think my ex is dating now and the woman I thin...
A. 6 August 2013: Here's a great tip for coping with those feelings...
FORGET HIM... AND those feelings!!!!! (He's your "EX-", for cryin' out loud!!!!!)
Hope this helps....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Should I text my friend on his birthday?
Q. One of my friends is having a birthday soon. He doesn't generally tell people his birthday but he told me once and I have a good memory for birthdays. I sent him a happy birthday text last year, too. Thing is, this guy is kind of a self-absorbed ...
A. 6 August 2013: I suggest that you send him a "birthday" text that reads:
"Happy Birthday, A$$hole"!!!
That should cut through the tangles of your dilemma....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
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