A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was sick for three days during the week and had a stomach ache all three days. I ended up being very tired and going to bed early and even taking a nap during the day.My fiance wanted a midweek romp and not just a weekly, but I was sick. Normally, we do it much more, but this time it extended into a week wait for him because I felt ill.He complained later that it was too long of a week for him to not have sex. I retorted back that I was sick and that is to be expected in a relationship. I can't predict when I am going to be sick or not.Was he being selfish and just thinking with his penis? He seems to be always thinking with his penis.He needs viagra to do anything or otherwise goes soft without it. When we do it with viagra, later that same day, he wants to do it again, almost always. It's a routine now. Seems like the viagra is still in his system and he needs a cap off and he wants to get his 10 bucks worth out of the pill. That sounds crude, I know, but I tell it like it is.Maybe he needs a healthier younger girl. I dunno. I got to thinking, what if I got REALLY sick, like with a disease and we couldn't have sex for a long period, THEN WHAT?
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fiance, period, the pill, viagra Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): Yes he is selfish. Why can't he masturbate? Surely he doesn't think that you can magically stop the coughing and wheezing and fever just to have sex with him and then go back to being deathly ill again once he's had his fill? It shows he just is only concerned about his own gratification and your feelings are not even on his radar.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 September 2013):
 According to the pamphlet "Why girls should put out for guys under any circumstances"..... there is NO REASON why a man should forego sex with "his" woman.... until and unless, she has succumbed to some terrible disease or trauma that has left her deceased......
Goodl luck, you're going to need it, if you don't walk away from this guy NOW..... and quickly.....
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (3 September 2013):
 A few years ago I wrote that no one wants their partner to lower their libido, no matter how much they are mismatched. I know this isn't a mismatched libido question but it is about the value people put on having a regular sex partner. If the world made sense then men could turn it off when their partner was sick, low libido partners could turn it on when they wanted to make their partners happy. But these things happen. Just as you could not help getting sick, he could not help getting horny.
I'm enough like your partner to wonder if you are talking about me. Many times one off isn't enough to take off the edge. It has nothing to do with getting the value out of my pill. It's just that the first time left me emotionally empty, or physically itchy (not both, one or the other). My partner keeps trying to figure out what she is doing wrong. The truth, at least some of the time, is that she did everything right and I liked it so much I wanted seconds.
So what is my advice, Talk more. His behavior is not all that unusual. Neither is yours or your feelings about it. Relationships require you to work through this kind of trouble, especially at your ages.
So back to my opening comment, I'm rethinking my stand on the idea of lowering my libido. I"m starting to wonder if my wife might really like it a bit more if it wasn't so persistent. I'm sure it would lower my stress.
FA
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (3 September 2013):
This is sort of the consequences of taking viagra, he can't totally control those urges. Tell him to lay off it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 September 2013):
 tell him to take half a pill then he only needs to do it once and he saves $5.
sheesh...
what he needs is to use his damn hand if you are incapacitated.
But, be careful what you wish for. My 40 yr old husband never wants sex.... it's a wasteland for me at 53.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (3 September 2013):
 I don't think he'd be there for you to be honest.
It's a very insensitive attitude to have toward someone you're supposed to care about!
I think you need to tell him how you feel and that his attitude was unreasonable and uncaring.
If he can't see past his own sexual requirements then I can't see much of a future to be honest.
I'm with you, I'm afraid, I think you have every right to be affronted by his behaviour.
A little love and compassion whilst you were sick should have been forthcoming not a guilt trip.
Hope this helps ABx
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